Dave Holmes

Stu City FMR featuring Andy and Jerry Lee www.instagram.com/reel/DepW3qg...

cocksure.substack.com/p/we-cannot-... The president’s musing about the nuclear annihilation of the city where I live was honestly a little bit not my favorite thing that ever happened.

cocksure.substack.com/p/hundred-da...

Hey so the video with the guy getting the message from his goddaughter that begins “please don’t tell my mom about this” and then reading it out loud to THE INTERNET may also contain some important lessons about consent?

We did it cocksure.substack.com/p/hundred-da...

Pretty damning stuff.

Looks like someone picked the wrong day to be an absolute spatula.

read and share, in the state of your choosin’ cocksure.substack.com/p/what-we-ta...

Day Two of Hundred Days and we’re doing it Frou Frou style. Subscribe! Join! Tell a frond! cocksure.substack.com/p/hundred-da...

As of today 9/22, there are 100 days left in 2026. What do you say we crush them? cocksure.substack.com/p/hundred-da...

It is a real indictment of our times that the name “Braden Peters” needed to be douched up.

As of tomorrow, there are 100 days left in 2026. Gonna put together a little 100-day health/wellness/sanity sprint to the finish on my IG and Substack. Stay tuned for details. I feel like 2027 is going to need good people at max potency.

A few unorganized thoughts on a great artist for a very sad Friday morning. substack.com/@cocksure/no...

Stitch it on a pillow, screen-print it on a t-shirt, spray paint it on the front of your own house. THIS is the message.

You’re a chemtrails.

So you could say the incident affected his judgment?

But maybe it’s a pig or goat who is a sexy secret agent, did you ever think of that

JD Vance is glitching out

Studs

oh word did they really

America, you got Grunch’d.

www.instagram.com/reel/DdPVhel...

I was already never forgetting, but thanks substack.com/@cocksure/no...

Los Angeles people of a certain age: this week has been gross, let’s dance ourselves clean and be home at a decent hour. Join me and Kid Finesse tomorrow EVENING. www.eventbrite.com/e/the-early-...

A) are we in hell B) why isn’t hell more fun

When I say “I have some quick thoughts on the dumb thing from today,” is the dumb thing from today you‘re thinking of the same dumb thing from today I’m thinking of, or a different dumb thing from today? Click and find out! And subscribe if you wanna! substack.com/@cocksure/no...

Been having some adventures at 45rpm lately. substack.com/@cocksure/no...

Studio City Farmers Market Report 9/6/26 www.instagram.com/reel/Dc9HpbX...

She knows she’s the first problematic political figure nobody will ever write a musical about and it’s KILLING HER

This is a big one and took a while! The Avengers: Doomsday Font & Logo Generator is live now - definitely don't tag Marvel with what you make.

My old MTV colleague Julie Reading has an excellent podcast called The Ambition Code, it’s about life and learning how to roll with its punches and figuring out how to remain creative through all of it, and I was honored to be a guest this week. Give it a go! open.spotify.com/episode/4Ndp...

Yesterday’s and today’s wordles put together suggest something troubling, definitely approaching tomorrow with trepidation.

Street art in her honor from SE Seattle

Some thoughts on a life beautifully lived www.esquire.com/entertainmen...

It straight up pisses me off that Dolly Parton was doing this stuff for the past 30 years while the biggest assholes in the world became billionaires whose only charitable contributions are to their own tax-exempt organizations (that they receive tax benefits for donating to & "volunteering with".)

We take to the streets, right?

Well this is terrible news but what a blessing to have had her for so long.

“Real piece of shit you got here, be a shame if something happened to it.”

Farmers Market Report www.instagram.com/reel/DcZDmGz...

Not since 2 Girls 1 Cup have I felt this level of I ain’t watching that

White House Doctor Claims President Has Always Been Face Drawn Onto Cantaloupe https://theonion.com/white-house-doctor-claims-president-has-always-been-face-drawn-onto-cantaloupe/

Love how we now have to be careful about blueberries, specific kinds of lettuce, and “the general concept of bread.”

Unpopular opinion: the learning curve for a United States Senator should be long and slow and a person should not be “thrown in there” just because they’re the sister of a guy who died. (Also “Darline” is not a name, it sucks.)

DJ’d at the Goldline last night, and @jessehawken.bsky.social knows I had to do it to ‘em.

Get into it. cocksure.substack.com/p/top-10-vid...

Reporter: You haven’t heard her name until now. She’s only seventeen years old. But White House intern Crespa Blumbo has been in charge of all nuclear missiles for the last two years and she just ordered the military to enact Project Acheron

It’s 818 Day, a day to celebrate in the San Fernando Valley, to reflect on our lives here and how much fun it is to run into someone you think you know and then be like “no, that guy is in the Skyrizi commercial.” cocksure.substack.com/p/valley-ris...