David Slack

Mostly we just fold the paper recycling to fit

Wowee! Congratulations Pip @pipadam.bsky.social ❤️❤️❤️

You can make a proper “who’s on first?” out of “Kim Jong Undead”

Takes some neck to choose this way to apologise for completely fucking up the ferries

What's the name for this campaign? "Triumph of the Wool"?

If this government ran a concert promotion business the way they run voter enrolment, they would get the tiniest crowd you ever saw at Western Springs

Not to be confused with the Simeon Brown who raised speed limits around school zones

Hear me out, a Trump Exclusion Zone

Oh dear, this is awful. A heady mix of ill-informed and untrue. Let's have a quick run through the lowlights... First, when we do get some articles about the rest of the balance sheet, Brucey? Govt's *positive* net financial worth? Business debt? Household debt? No? Why? [🧵1/n]

Reminder that last time he negotiated a coalition agreement there was almost nothing Christopher "I won't do a deal with TOP" Luxon wasn't ready to do

Johnny had four bed legs but he has lost three of them. How many does he have left? And is it safe now to go into a room with him?

www.davidslack.net/the-stations...

Seven properties and no solar panels. And his idea of exciting investment is snow-making machinery.

STUFF wishes to reassure readers that a car that was STUFFED with explosives was not in any way related to its operation. You are not at risk of being blown up by clicking a link to STUFF. STUFF has a strict no-bombing policy and reading about bombs should not make you nervous about STUFF.

A stolen car was found in Ellerslie, and towed to a facility in Mt Eden, which happens to be near a new train station. So perhaps dial down your hard-on for dramatics, Stuff, and change your headline so it's clear someone was not trying to bomb the train station.

Rocked by a nightmare poll, National takes massive pivot and announces 100 new roads of national significance

Contains a fresh election quiz www.davidslack.net/untruth-tell...

Please let me scare you with stories about things Chloe isn't I want to stop you thinking about everything I am

Saturday Mornings with Kerri Woodham, and we’re bringing back Leighton Smith to give The Panel a bit more edge

If we're talking about the spring forward events of 2026, 2025 and 2024 you might call them "daylight savings" But if you just mean today, sorry to shout but IT'S JUST FRICKEN DAYLIGHT SAVING

been more or less immobilised all week by a cold and I fucking hate it. big apologies if you're a subscriber, hoping I'll be back on deck soon

96% of NZ First policy is sustained by Vitamin Seethe

I become a deer culler -- Flynn becomes a pig-dog -- That healthy outdoor life -- Some good keen men -- I meet Harry -- Trouser trouble -- I hunt the cocky's pigs with Jim -- I meet legs -- In for my chop -- Harry again -- A good keen dog -- Two prize heads -- Wilmer

The difference between Christopher “cry me a river” Luxon and Marie “let them eat cake” Antoinette is that she was misquoted

Meet Olivia. She's hosting Cycle Forward, a fundraising event on Te Ara Tupua next weekend. @cyclewgtn.bsky.social #cyclingwitholivia

A bunch of quizzes www.davidslack.net/election-2026/

Back in 1936 Luxon's own party Nationalised the Tories

Can’t tell if this is a news story or the cover of an Airport novel

How's your recall? www.davidslack.net/pm-fibs/ Which of these did Nats actually deliver? A. Funding 13 new cancer treatments in its first Budget B. 500 extra police officers within two years C. Banning cellphones in schools D. $250 a fortnight in tax relief for the average household

www.davidslack.net/pm-fibs/

How fast would you run screaming from the hospital if these two told you: "We're here to do your brain surgery"? Would you even be confident they could hang out your washing without fucking it up?

Newspaper founded to argue the side of the colonisers' Waikato Invasion remains simpering handmaiden to vested interests with dismal agenda

Thinking about mythical figures The Duke of Wellington, who fought the Battle of Waterloo singlehanded Eisenhower, who fought his way up multiple Normandy beaches entirely on his own And Chris Penk, who was the only one who thought Luxon was too woefully dismal to go on being our Prime Minister

National Party: "Just re-elect us you fricken dimwitted ingrates, here's a Moro bar to make it worth your while."

The most incredible poem of 2026, surely newsroom.co.nz/2026/08/30/t...

Free to share www.davidslack.net/borrow-story/

Christopher Luxon is forever talking about the colossal economic train wreck the last government left and this gets repeated as certain fact. But what are the actual numbers? www.davidslack.net/borrow-story/

When the aliens arrived and started eating our brains, I didn't stand by and do nothing. I took to them with fly spray, more and more fly spray, as much as I could find, and saying loudly to everyone: “We simply cannot accept the harm being done to a generation of ​New Zealand children.”

Well there’s a coincidence. I’d hate to see our parliament become a dumping ground for crap CEOs

14 hours later and my mentions are still full of angry treatises about badly behaved cyclists. Bike lanes are not a reward for good cyclist behavior! They are infrastructure proven to make cities safer for ALL ROAD USERS. Whatever way cyclists have wronged you is irrelevant to the discussion!

On the MMP Luxon was blurting about www.davidslack.net/just-let-me-...

That gondola better have room for cars