Alice Lastname

Do you think Einstein ever jacked off to the Lorentz factor

Just got all my boys together to take on the wandering ronin who came to town. There’s like 15 of us and only one of him so pretty much the only thing that would give me any pause is if he was master of the devastating and lightning-fast iaidō style. But that’s not likely. Coward hasn’t even drawn h

You know how, during the tutorial in halo (2001) when they overcharge your shields for a sec and your controller vibrates, and then your shields pop, and your controller stops, and the shield is gone and the indicator is flashing red and your suits alarm is going off? That's a metaphor for cumming.

There was a split second watching that video of that Tommy nerd asking that question where I thought maybe it was Will Forte doing a bit

Abdul HUSSEIN El-Sayed

His palms are sweaty, Hands wet, fingers sweaty, There's sweat on his hands already, Thumbs so sweaty

People in glass houses shouldn't stomp and jump around in high heels

Ghostwriter surfing through cyberspace and soaking up the exabytes of ai slop and trying to kill himself again

His palms are sweaty, Hands wet, fingers sweaty, There's sweat on his hands already, Thumbs so sweaty

"Bluesky is dying" everything is dying. I am dying. You are dying. Everyone you love is dying. Entropy always increases. Everything and everyone lasts for but a fraction of a moment. Accept it. Cherish that fraction of a moment.

"Bluesky is dying" listen i am not looking for quantity; i am looking for 25 to 45 motherfuckers with the very same mental illness as I

Trying to read Harrison Bergeron but my phone keeps buzzing with Bluesky notifications. I consider introspecting on this, but someone just liked my shitpost and I revel in that before going back to whatever it was I was doing

Just realizing that i didn't see a single "ted cruz accidentally retweeted porn starring a woman who kinda looks like his wife" riff on 9/11 this year

They called it Godzilla Minus Zero because that's how interested i am on a scale of 1 to 10 to see it. Minus Zero !!!!

Bluesky 38 2027, the winners are bestowed peace by getting banned from this site

Who is (or who are) your north star(s)?

Unicode will turn out to be one of humanity's best inventions

All i want for Christmas is my two distinct brains

Say what you shall about the genre or the artist, but Honkeytonk Badonkadonk is one of the greatest titles of any work of art

they call it Nintendo Direct bc when i see Nintendo i go Directly to my bed and fucking jack off

They called it Bluesky 38 because that's how old we all are

Yeah, it's called Hamilton because the guy's name is Jeff Hamilton, something like that. One of the founding fathers. One of the guys who started america. He was i wanna say the 4th or 5th president. No, i dont remember abe lincoln being in it.

Chuck! Chuck! It's your cousin! Your cousin, Marvin MANSON? I'm starting to get a little worried about you, man, and i think you gotta chill it with the race war shit.

Choking to death on the Life Savers® stuck in my throat

Just realized i don't have any bangers of a post for when It Happens. If It Happened within the next hour or so, I'll be woefully ill-prepared. You all deserve better than that.

The thing i actually fundamentally disagree with Idiocracy on is in how it kinda blames underprivileged people for perpetuating their own problems instead of society more generally

fartipiss-hole insmelligence

End of Remember Me, but Robert pattinson is on a boat in Chicago on August 8 2004

Movie about a sex purge? A cumshot compilation?

Are you telling me the name Minions AND Monsters isn't redundant?

This is just to say I have OCRed the text thet was in tne arch:ve and whicb yov were prabaldy seamhing for "breahtast" Fargme ms fheg mem debo:w5 sb ?mccf mmb 5c oc1b

I don't know How Ross Dou that Voodoo That Ross do So well

Sorry did i hear odysseus correctly, at one point does he say, "dude, they have cheese!"?

Women behind me at The Odyssey during a trailer for a Nicole Kidman movie: I'm so tired of Nicole Kidman. They cast her in everything! Other actors exist!

(3 drinks) sometimes the world is so magnificent that i will weep at the many simple beauties you encounter during a normal day (3.25 drinks) if you begin to think about it enemies are actually surrounding me and closing in. i am beset upon by evil on all sides.

Taylor Farms? I didn't know, but good for her

the Internet stopped getting better and started getting worse the moment someone first earnestly used the phrase "search engine optimization"

Homer? I hardly know her

Logging on

Neil "The Grass" Tyson

A four-way between Melissa & Doug and Cat & Jack

Number 15: Taco Bell poop lettuce