Skellier Ellie Than Normal🖤

I actually badly need Slayground to be good. I fucking love Green Room and Saulnier has so much potential, but everything he’s done since has looked great and then fizzled into something mediocre. I need this movie to be brutal and mean and gross and fun or I think I’m done with him.

I think that the fictional character Josh Turok from the game Turok should be beaten to death with hammers as an example to any other dinosaur hunters out there because dinosaurs deserve health and dignity and I’m sick of this shit, and none of this is an actionable threat against a living person

I think Above the Below might be the worst movie title I’ve seen yet.

Dad: Nice tits! Those are from me! You: thanks :(

When I was talking to my dad on my birthday, he asked if I had gotten breast implants. I told him no, they’re natural, it’s just genetics, and he told me I got those from his side of the family, they’re way better than my mom’s (they’re divorced). :C

Fuck the democrats. Anybody who tells me to “vote blue no matter who” is getting a brick to the teeth.

Sorry man this guy’s gotta lose I don’t care who the fuck he’s running against. If these loudly anti-trans Dems don’t lose, it’s going to take us thirty years to get back the rights we’ve lost in the past five.

I get nausea-inducing migraines and I have found that the defcon system is very useful for quickly communicating the severity of the situation as it unfolds

It’s my birthday, and I started it with a lox bagel topped with pickled onions and capers, and a lovely cup of siphon pot coffee. I’ve got my ffs consult next week, I got my third reference for pussy surgery, there’s chocolate babka in my fridge. Getting older rocks.

God, number stations are so spooky to me. Like, I know what they’re supposed to be, I know that it’s not actually something scary, but they always set my imagination off. Love a good creepy audio thingy.

Damnit, I forgot about my tranniversary! It was like almost three weeks ago. Well happy 4 years to me!

“DHS agents kill another civilian ☹️” “An inside look into the DHS’s cool new death ray! You won’t believe what it does to your organs! 😃” Exhausting.

Every now and then I think of that cis comedian who claimed he had “the one good joke about trans people” and it was about how our “real laughs” are clocky. Idr who that was so I like to think he was dissolved in acid and it didn’t make the news.

Philadelphia cream cheese should do one of those “Detroit hustles harder” type ads that like Cadillac did for a while but about Philadelphia instead of Detroit and cream cheese instead of big funny cars.

My ffs consult got moved from January to next Thursday. It’s normal to stare into the distance and hear the RE4 save room music in your head as a response to that, right?

Oh my fucking god, I just saw The Devils for the first time. I get it now. I’m honored that I got to see it in theaters. What an incredible movie.

My mother in law has been considering moving to Florida, Arizona, but when we said we couldn’t visit her if she did, assumed it was because we would be uncomfortable in maga country. My wife told her no, it’s the anti trans laws. She was completely unaware of them.

Jfc, who is this for? What parent is buying their kid a $1200 console that needs $70 games for their birthday? What teen is spending their min wage earnings on a console that’s twice the initial cost of PS5 with little discernible difference? They’re going out of their way to shit the bed.

Sliced my knee open real good on the weirdly sharp corner of the bedframe at like midnight last night. So that was cool

I know there are comics and stuff that probably overexplain it all, but I like to think that the reason the Event Horizon from Event Horizon went to hell is because god saw humanity cheating at after than light travel and said fuck these specific guys.

I feel like the people clamoring for public executions have either never really experienced what it’s like to see a person die, or they watch watch liveleak videos of people dying every night. Either way, I don’t think we should listen to them at all.

I saw an ad with Martha Stewart shilling glp1. Imagine being old and rich and still terrified of being fat. Girl who cares? Do heroin, buy a mansion and burn it down, hire a Michelin star chef to cook for you in the louvre and give her head! What’s the point of wealth if you don’t enjoy yourself?!

Oh wow, they’re really panicking over how well China’s EVs are doing, huh?

I’m so sick of all this AI dogshit being quietly loaded into every program that you then have to figure out how to opt out of. I don’t want this shit, stop pushing it on me. My graphics card updater doesn’t need an ai that can Hoover up my data. Fuck off.

If apps and AI are so great, why hasn’t anybody invented an app that tells you what that really loud noise a couple blocks away was?

This little kitty came out of the bushes screaming at us for pets on our morning walk. She’s super skinny her tail is almost entirely bones. We tried to get her to eat some wet food but just wanted pets. We took her to the Tacoma Humane Society.

Being a Costco gold star member is cool because they give you a card to let people know you’ve only ever fucked Costcos. Be nice about this joke pls i just woke up

If you see this, post a witch

You know what? I’ll say it. I think there should be more good movies. I love those things.

I love Sam Neil’s performance in Event Horizon. Whenever someone questions his evil spaceship, he acts like Dr. Venture trying to hide that the power source is a little orphan boy

For eons, mankind has thought “wouldn’t it be scary if statues bled?” And we were right to do so, I’d freak right out if I saw that.