chore doer

it’s lazy, but i got big jeans just so i could pull them over my comfy inside pants and not have to completely change clothes every time i go out

my greatest wish as a taxpayer is to see the glorious ballroom completed and filled with gaudy gold-painted baubles

(after taking my stimulant) time to lock in on the least productive activity

back in the day as a young person you could already become the king of carrot flowers

single issue voter whose only concern is bringing back roman numerals

facts don’t work on willfully delusional people, but laughing in their faces and relentlessly ridiculing them might

AI helped me to stop shitting my pants by telling me to sit on a toilet instead

we have these little coasters that look like rugs and when my dad put his drink on it I told him it was praying toward Mecca and he got upset

sephiroth announces Jenova AI, “the mother of all LLMs”

elizabeth is manipulating billy into manipulating nathan into manipulating us into manipulating the discourse into manipulating the movie into manipulating sales into manipulating elizabeth

(watching the entire planet burn and collapse so that a few tech perverts can put their brains inside a robot) it was all worth it in the end

it’s not a coincidence that the most incurious and uncritical media outlets also happen to be the best funded

tried to shave but someone put candy in my razor blade >:(

manifesting every day

parents be aware: “trunk or treat” means either your child gets candy or gets locked in the trunk of a car

sorry kids, christmas is cancelled this year due to daddy’s kalshi addiction. also we’re being evicted

more like ethan DEklein

it’s wild how rightwing types can’t even conceive of losing because their ideology is so odious and deeply unpopular

Not only an incredible talent, but a rare talent who also thought it was funny to just voice random memes every once in a while

at this point no one can deny that AI has been life changing (made life worse)

remember the rules this election season: rightwing wins = free and fair election leftwing wins = rigged and stolen

more like BOZOnaro. see ya never clown ass

bolsonaro jr has gone to hospital to be with his father

uploading elon musk’s consciousness to the cloud then deleting him

ELIZABETH: I’m not really familiar with the Sugondese people either. NATHAN: Okay. BILLY: I hear you Nathan, and your line of questioning is valid. But I think what she’s too nice to say is that if the Sugondese won’t assimilate with our culture, they shouldn’t be allowed in our country.

sloop john b. is the best beach boys song about someone eating up all of your corn

unfortunately this picture applies to and can be used for many people

the president has announced a release schedule for debuting his new unsettling gutteral noises

every wishcasting entrepreneur is like “my revolutionary invention works perfectly in my nebulous mental future “

zionists asking you to condemn hamas while they wholeheartedly support the cia

elizabeth holmes getting a full pardon after gaining enough public sympathy

imagine if the next democratic president made hasan piker the press secretary lol

not sure why conservatives would be concerned about the lives of the cornell rapists being ruined when they obviously have a bright future as rightwing media grifters

they don’t know i’m playing 2d chess

as american citizens, we should all be allowed to pluck a hair off of trump’s head

E A SPORTS, “it’s in Saudi Arabia”

many problems that arise in movies made before the 21st century could have been avoided if they simply had a cellphone

the point of religions is to make up rules so you can find loopholes to them

the founding fathers judging who gets into american heaven is canon

herbert hoover left trump with the worst economy

so cool that a teen with chatgpt could theoretically wreak havoc on an international banking system

a big reason dems are doing better is that their candidates are saying “we need to make life more affordable” which appeals to everyone, while the republican candidates are like “transgender illegal immigrant children in sports are stealing healthcare!!” which just doesn’t hit for anyone