I Ate Oklahoma

perfect, no notes

Tiny House on the Prairie

The "Ready or Not" films are extremely watchable.

Cheesecake Factory can be both "kind of trashy" and "too expensive for a lot of people" all at once. Cheesecake Factory contains multitudes.

I've been wrong about a lot of things and I will continue to be wrong about even more things, like wishing the 1994 film "The Shadow" had become its own cinematic universe with spin-offs for Doc Savage and such.

The desperation in Oklahoma's political ads is nuts. Makes me wonder just how bad the internal polling is for Mazzei, Bice, etc. No one is enthusiastic about those candidates, but Oklahoma is supposed to be rock solid red, so the mud slinging against Democratic candidates feels panicky.

Sad dude walking around my neighborhood, asking anyone he sees when they last had their roof inspected. Guess I'd be depressed if that was my life, too.

I read the news today, oh boy (derogatory)

Why haven't the members of Hanson opened a Korean food restaurant in Tulsa named Bibimmmbap?

I loved "Community," but I'm still disappointed that, so many years later, I still think "Phylicia Rashad" when I add milk to my coffee.

[writing his name in every notebook I find in case it turns out it's a Death Note]

What a time to be alive (derogatory)!

This truly is a golden era for people addicted to complaining. That and online gambling.

Immutable laws of the universe: Death Taxes Your new neighbors throwing a loud-ass party on a Sunday night for some reason

And that's why we don't talk about the club...you know...the one with the fighting? The Fight Club? We don't even say it out loud, because...damn it!

You know things are bad out there when sandwich shops have to post affirmations on the wall just to keep their customers from getting suicidal before their turkey subs arrive.

Huh. Interesting photo choice.

The older I get, the less ridiculous the Tom Hanks taking a very, very, very long leak scene in "A League of Their Own" seems.

Good Night, Miss Bliss

"Sure, we're corrupt, amoral warmongers, but at least we're destroying the economy."

Few public figures have fallen farther faster in my esteem than Mike Rowe.

If someone texts you they're "in the zone" and it turns out it's an AutoZone, you are legally obligated to block their number.

My Brain: Big day tomorrow. You ready for this, Body? My Body: Absolutely. We can't screw this up. Let's do this, Brain. Simultaneously: Let's make sure he can't sleep at all so tomorrow is a disaster!

Another tough day to be alive.

[getting fired from the police department] COMMISSIONER: ...and when you were arresting him, you said, "We've got a warrant..." ME: "with special guest Firehouse," yes sir.

Make a band edible: 30 Odd Foot of Runts

i bet laying on a hot dog roller at the gas station feels amazing

I think it's okay to do as much as you can do without going insane and not beat yourself up over the rest.

The United States: where giving a frail voter waiting in the Georgia sun a glass of water is punishable by a year in prison, but the president can offer everyone $5k to vote for his party.

What's the example of perfect casting?

If a dog is straining against its leash, trying to bum rush a stranger, I would assume the person holding the leash might try to dissuade or distract or pull the dog away, rather than making the stranger take a wide berth just to avoid the aggressive dog.

A month ago, I'd never heard of an Irish Spice Bag. Now I feel like I'm seeing videos and recipes for it everywhere. And I think Oklahomans would absolutely go insane for everything in it: fried chicken pieces, french fries, onions and peppers, Chinese five spice, curry sauce.