karanormal activity 💜

i wouldn't tell anyone if i inherited a billboard company but there would be signs

me: pendants annoy me him: why? me: they think they know everything him: I think you mean “pedants” me: *under breath* fucking pendant

if you're in line to deface the cybertruck, STAY IN LINE

This mf just said "they don't sound trans" and called trans people "freaks"

perfect, no notes

in the cars universe lovers study the kama supra

Oh this is sad news. When we lose anyone its tragedy, and of course Walter was one of the originals. I had of course heard rumours that he hadn't been well for a while. Our deepest sympathies to Walter's family and friends at this time Walter Koenig - 1936 - 2026 #RIP #NuclearWessels

add “between my legs” to a movie title what we do in the shadows between my legs

it won't matter because trust and safety are openly anti-trans at this point but people should make their day a bit more annoying by reporting basically everything this guy is saying

scrotal recall

it's called an anagram maybe you've hit or fade

Any one of you who still thinks there is a single bit of difference between this place and X is in for a rude, rude awakening

"haha what a funny caption let's just watch a kid ball the fuck out and have fun wait what the fuck holy fucking whatttttt"

dying from too many one-liners is being sentenced to death

Scorpio: Don’t worry about the writhing horrors beneath your flesh, it’s sweater season!

yet another incredibly blockable shit stain bsky.app/profile/pizz...

To pay a bill, press 1. To awaken ravenous tentacled horrors that slumber in the void between worlds, press 2. To hear your balance, press 3.

Some of you have forgotten how to shake your little tush on the catwalk and it shows

Therapist: Wow, you're extremely self-aware Me: I know, what meds stop that?

*me googling* "were they called the dark ages because it was knight time"

Cause tramp’s like us, baby we were born to pun

Shadows In The Stars: The Audiobook Chapter 11 is now available for all subscribers! Thanks a million! :) onlyfans.com/2842879476/p... www.patreon.com/seanferrick/...

an extremely blockable piece of shit bsky.app/profile/daco...

if you ever happen to see someone post a joke you don't understand or discuss a subject you aren't familiar with, you are well within your right to complain, and perhaps even scold them if necessary. you are their customer and you have rights

me: i wish I could use emoji in real life her: those are called facial expressions me: her: me: *holds up post-it with a smiley face*

hitman: you won't have a problem with your cousin... once removed

we regret to inform you that it's ✨Shameless Self Promotion Saturday✨ so, please: support artists, support queers, and show the world that a Voluntary Profit way of life is better just please buy things. it's really rough out there here's a bunch of shirts moxiest.art

Hole girl fall

[sign at the calphalon factory] "life's what happens when you're busy making pans"

Dont talk to me until ive had my fall of the billionaire class

if you act like adding alt text is the world’s biggest chore then don’t fucking post images. it’s not cute.

(forgetting the word thirsty) I’m horny for some water.

not yet, funk soul brother

LMAO (added alt text)

bluesky really needs a banger post right about now

ik ten percent of ur income sounds like a lot but istg if u tithe to me u’ll get to come to the big ghost party we’re all havin

an important reminder to always wear a skeetbelt