jess

jess

@jess.red

threat supermodel. clocky like lamport.

1K followers365 following5.2K posts

pleased to report that ownership of all my php has now been taken off my hands

Matthew Garrett@mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip

Pleased to report that I have no PHP

the important thing to remember about the two critical vulnerabilities coming out today is that "4" is bouba; "PHP RCE" is kiki

i am coming to terms with the fact that there will be no electoral consequences for being evil fuckfaces, but there may be electoral consequences for being obscenely stupid

the thing about hellthread is that it was so great that people actually made stickers for hellthread. the other thing about hellthread was that the window of greatness was so short that by the time the stickers arrived, they were just kinda embarrassing.

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giggling at the mental image of Elon Musk having a Russ-Hannigan-on-Silicon-Valley-style meltdown at losing his fourth comma

jess reposted

The most important response when anyone says that a toilet ban is “unenforceable”; “Assholes will be deputized” It will be enforced by violent rightwing men entering women’s toilets after anyone who “looks” trans. Cis & trans women will be assaulted in the ladies. This is a feature not a bug.

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jess reposted

> looking at tech sector layoffs > ask the hr manager if the layoffs are from ai or from the end of zirp > she doesn't understand > pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is ai replacement and what is zirp > she laughs and says "they’re good layoffs sir” > check the data > its zirp

let me spell it out: they are practicing the process for mass passport revocation on the least sympathetic people possible so that it goes smoothly and cleanly when they do it to trans people.

they are ensuring they can hit exactly who they want to hit so that they can yank travel privileges from _only_ trans people with no sympathetic non-trans victims of the policy.

only today left to get your bids in! ofc you can still give money to folks in Minneapolis whenever you want, but this is the only time you can do it AND get an original stained glass panel from me (unless I do this again...?)

jess@jess.red

hey folks! Minneapolis/St. Paul continue to struggle with the economic fallout of the ICE occupation there, and we need to help them. I'm auctioning this piece of stained glass, titled Fuck ICE and designed/constructed during the occupation, to benefit those families.

three days to go!

jess@jess.red

hey folks! Minneapolis/St. Paul continue to struggle with the economic fallout of the ICE occupation there, and we need to help them. I'm auctioning this piece of stained glass, titled Fuck ICE and designed/constructed during the occupation, to benefit those families.

jess reposted

hey folks! Minneapolis/St. Paul continue to struggle with the economic fallout of the ICE occupation there, and we need to help them. I'm auctioning this piece of stained glass, titled Fuck ICE and designed/constructed during the occupation, to benefit those families.

the French sure have something going on with this "fourth republic", "fifth republic" thing. we're way behind them on this.

current high bid is only $300! You could own this piece of art and help your comrades at the same time!

jess@jess.red

hey folks! Minneapolis/St. Paul continue to struggle with the economic fallout of the ICE occupation there, and we need to help them. I'm auctioning this piece of stained glass, titled Fuck ICE and designed/constructed during the occupation, to benefit those families.

hey folks! Minneapolis/St. Paul continue to struggle with the economic fallout of the ICE occupation there, and we need to help them. I'm auctioning this piece of stained glass, titled Fuck ICE and designed/constructed during the occupation, to benefit those families.

@lookitup.baby will help facilitate and make sure the money gets where it needs to! The auction will end at 11:59PM Sunday the 10th; you can bid by sending a reply to this post or emailing me at jess@x86.wtf. I'll periodically update this thread with the current high bid.

hey folks! Minneapolis/St. Paul continue to struggle with the economic fallout of the ICE occupation there, and we need to help them. I'm auctioning this piece of stained glass, titled Fuck ICE and designed/constructed during the occupation, to benefit those families.

@lookitup.baby will help facilitate and make sure the money gets where it needs to! The auction will end at 11:59PM Sunday the 10th; you can bid by sending a reply to this post or emailing me at jess@x86.wtf. I'll periodically update this thread with the current high bid.

follow up comment bc I missed time zones: auction closes at 11:59PM US Central time on May 10.

hey folks! Minneapolis/St. Paul continue to struggle with the economic fallout of the ICE occupation there, and we need to help them. I'm auctioning this piece of stained glass, titled Fuck ICE and designed/constructed during the occupation, to benefit those families.

@lookitup.baby will help facilitate and make sure the money gets where it needs to! The auction will end at 11:59PM Sunday the 10th; you can bid by sending a reply to this post or emailing me at jess@x86.wtf. I'll periodically update this thread with the current high bid.

Even if you don't want to bid on this piece, I highly recommend scanning @lookitup.baby's feed for resources on how to support Minneapolis/St. Paul families with the direct aid they need. Their solidarity with each other and direct action during the occupation makes the rest of us safer today.

jess reposted

"hey welcome-is this your first job making pizza" "no, i spent six years training with a classic brick oven pizzaiolo in naples" "great..cool...now this one we call 'the volcano dipper'"

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the 2019-2020 devacurl issues were actually the result of counterfeit stock in commingled inventory in Amazon warehouses before anyone realized that commingled inventory in Amazon warehouses was a thing

Sam Lloyd@llamsoyd.bsky.social

in honor of The Onion officially taking over InfoWars, what’s a conspiracy theory you 100% believe? Michael Jordan was doing the exact same shit as Pete Rose (gambling on games his team played in) during his playing career and Nike+the NBA have…done what it took to keep that quiet.

jess reposted

the idea that the demand of affluent people for strangers’ children is in tension with child welfare protections is actually correct. But of course in Anglophone countries, where #adoption is about making people into parents, the conclusion is “so much the worse for child welfare protections.”

Michigan Adoptee Rights Coalition@michiganadoptees.bsky.social

Quebec imposed a moratorium on international adoption in 2024 over child trafficking concerns, but this couple is calling for it to be lifted due to dissatisfaction with long domestic wait times, highlighting a tension between adult demand for infants and child welfare protections. buff.ly/q4Eovp1 🥚

get this man a CSIRT to run

Jon Bois@jonbois.bsky.social

i have limited programming experience but i bet i could stop a ddos attack. as soon as some weird traffic came in from somewhere i'd just shut it down. if they kept doing it i'd send them a virus email that put the words BACK OFF or BEWARE or something in huge letters on their computer screen

straight out of a civ i dialogue box

Matthew Gertz@mattgertz.bsky.social

“Leo should get his act together as pope” is when it became clear that this is a simulation.

in glass I make that isn't an absurd crock of shit, here's something that came together last fall.

is it art if you can't use the skillset to make something incredibly fucking stupid

jess reposted

Replying to @punkrockscience.bsky.social

Look if Skynet becomes sentient and decides to wipe out 90% of humanity as a security baseline... I kinda get it, actually.

everyone talking about how "elected officials" and "the political elite" and "the media" bear responsibility for trump and have to get him out. no. you don't get it. we all bear responsibility for trump. that is the cost of democracy. every evil thing he does, we are responsible for.

jess reposted

ok but if you're opposed to American empire (as we all should be) this is incredible. truly just the shooting yourself in the dick for no reason of imperial decline.

Qasim Rashid, Esq.@qasimrashid.com

NYT reporting that under this ceasefire each ship will pay $2M to pass through the Strait of Hormuz. It was $0 before Trump launched this illegal war. 100-130 ships pass the Strait daily. Trump just gave Iran an extra $100M-$130M per day. Masterful gambit, sir. Impeach and remove this fascist—NOW.

jess reposted

two of the hardest things ever written are "face god and walk backwards into hell" and "you cannot kill me in a way that matters" one of them came from a tumblr shitpost and the other one came from a dril tweet about hollering at zoo animals the internet truly is a magical place

Comfortably Boo@numb.comfortab.ly

Don't know about Twitter, but this is my favorite Tumblr post