Johnny Killoran

Milwaukee hasn’t had this much going for it since Laverne & Shirley

It’ s a sign of a robust economy when the federal government goes full Nigerian prince scam

The Celtics defeated the defending NBA champions and that makes the Celtics the current NBA champions. Basic science.

if I were a Rays fan I’d want to Seeless of Ian Seymour

I like that the mouth-breathers-clapping Tesla event was apparently held on a replica set of the Jared Leto Tron movie

ROBIN YOUNT HIVE RISE UP

that’s ya boy Tober

no no no, you gotta call this one BEE2EEPER in anticipation of BEE3PER

ESPN producer Nicole Noren quits over sports broadcasting's increasingly predatory promotion of gambling: “I’m not going to work for a gambling company and have blood on my hands.”

passively-aggressively texting this to your dealer during price negotiation

The deeply uncomfortable film forces audiences to confront what types of stories we tell ourselves about who has economic and political power.

Have realized that the gap between the publication ‘Of Mice and Men’ and my birth is smaller than the one between my age and the age of my youngest child. Just gonna lie flat and stare blankly at the ceiling for a few years brb.

[after watching, on a video feed from within my fortress, Dr. Psychoborous Chopneck decapitate thousands of my constituents] concerning. we must cross the aisle with our intergalactic invaders to match the heads with the bodies before they are incinerated.

If Shane Gillis wants to offend women, he could at least try being funny

we come to this place for magic

8/yo, stretching out her older sister’s arm, drops an open-mic bit out of nowhere: “I’m a chiropractor. And for real, because I didn’t go to medical school.”

the nation is healing.

Efton Chism is a Star Wars name.

Jack Smith did not conspire against Donald Trump while watching Steph Curry score 60 points in an overtime loss to the Hawks: defector.com/jack-smith-e...

wore a sleeveless tee to show off my fit arms and ended up staining it with oreo ice cream bar drips

Chad Tracy displaying Grady Little level postseason management skills

It is revealed that the Russo MCU movies have always been a part of the You, Me & Dupree extended universe.

PRIMETIME is technically Billy Bob Thornton’s best movie in years.

They're called "Steve Martin" and "Kathleen Turner"

covered all the Breaks (-ing Bad, Un-able Kimmy Schmidt, and Prison).

well space jam 2 is ruined for me

Hollywood Reporter breaks the news that Lizzie Borden (b. 1860) is apparently still alive

Hydrox cookies getting so much social media play today because of that lady who pooped herself at some thing spelled similarly to Hydrox. Oreo could never.

ed sheeran wishes he were irish so badly but he is unfortunately, the most english fucker to ever live

yes, new york times, he’s a real “fighter,” a man of courage and integrity

I think I’m a new fan of David Boreanaz, who appeared to stay on his feet for the entirety of Michael J. Fox’s speech.

Thanks, Steve (for thinking I give a shit about the Clippers’ corporate pablum because I bought tickets to watch the Celtics play them).

Giuliani’s wandering around, asking where his cake is because he thinks it’s his fucking birthday

thoughts and prayers to all the brands today

"oh but it worked out for bin laden's goals" he wanted the united states to stop supporting israel and the saudi royals and get the hell out of the middle east and, well, open your favorite news site also we killed him and told everyone about his porn collection, every man's nightmare

I don’t call it a sore throat I call it lozengemaxxing

interesting phrase for an elementary school to use in an email

at the DMV because two weeks ago a bouncer at the Comedy Store was insistent that I needed a better driver’s license photo & I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. customer service does make a difference!

pushing hard inside the household to drum up votes for my campaign. but my wife's all "I have a job."

whatever state you work for, your loyalty must of course remain with Mississippi

reading this Ice Cube quote in Brian Raftery’s ‘Best. Movie. Year. Ever.” and wondering if Cube thought about while making the Amazon Prime War of the Worlds

I had no idea the far-right chud currently in ICE detention because of infighting among racists was not American. ("the more you know" gif and what have you)

there are countries where war criminals die *in prison*? must be nice.

I’d be lying if I said CLUE wasn’t my fave Curry performance, but this is an all-timer line delivery (cut short here to maintain the suspense)

40% of my communication with my wife has become me informing her of heartbreaking celebrity deaths