Jordan

Jordan

@jordanfreiman.bsky.social

People think they know what they want but they generally dont. Sometimes if they're lucky they'll get it anyways.

733 followers491 following4.5K posts

Jordan
@jordanfreiman.bsky.social

this is mostly true but i just saw an ad for burger king's new chicken nuggets and i just want to warn everyone that in this one instance the item in question is still not fit for consumption even by maggots

lauren@lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com

all the fast food brands that went "we agree, the food is kinda garbage" did in fact turn it around

Jordan
@jordanfreiman.bsky.social

the idea of the public intellectual is so funny. buncha guys whose primary function is to give you little nuggets to sort of half-correctly remember when you try to tell people at parties or coworkers about them. most of the time they're extremely wrong. presidents take their advice.

Jordan
@jordanfreiman.bsky.social

we gotta hurry up with this butlerian jihad thing because the automated check swing system they have in place for the minors right now is deranged and seeing it in the pros might actually kill me

Chris Towers Missed The Playoffs@cptowers.bsky.social

Once again: There is no such thing as a “correct” “check-swing” “call”. It is entirely up to the discretion of the umpire. Absolutely no screenshot is going to prove you right or wrong here! (But for the record, this would likely *NOT* be a strike whenever MLB introduces an automated challenge)

Jordan
@jordanfreiman.bsky.social

as god intended

lauren@lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com

Everyone was afraid a World Series game would end on a pitch clock violation or an overturned strike call or whatever so of course it's an unchallengeable check swing

Jordan
@jordanfreiman.bsky.social

what is a swing? depends how the first or third or possibly home plate umpire is feeling/whether they were really paying attentionor maybe just blinked at the wrong time. that's baseball (suzyn)

Jordan reposted

dan molloy
@danmolloy.bsky.social
Grateful Dead Lyrics Bot@deadlyrics.bsky.social

Paradise waits, on the crest of a wave, her angels in flames. She has no pain, like a child she is pure, she is not to blame. Poised for flight, wings spread bright, spring from night into the sun. Don't stop to run, she can fly like a lie, she can't be outdone.

Jordan
@jordanfreiman.bsky.social

the problem with getting a haircut is that i look in the mirror afterward and have the same thought i have when i see a dog that's had a haircut which is something along the lines of "oh god what the fuck why is its head so freakishly small???"

Jordan
@jordanfreiman.bsky.social

tried to get a free luxury suite by contacting federal, state and local authorities, the nba, the new york knicks and msg officials to express concerns about my personal safety at a knicks game and james dolan personally responded with a photo of him loading a bullet with my name on it into a gun

Jordan reposted

lauren
@lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com

we've identified another vulnerability leak. now hackers on the dark web have identified your bad knee and that weird thing your shoulder does if you sleep on it wrong. there's no patch available for this, they're now just keenly aware you feel like your career has stalled out

Jordan
@jordanfreiman.bsky.social
Ryan Nanni@celebrityhottub.bsky.social

most coach firings have a game or stretch of games where you can pinpoint that the plot was lost. with mike locksley you can basically pick any date from the last three years

Jordan
@jordanfreiman.bsky.social

just saw someone try to explain you can see everything by doing the "have you ever heard of kayfabe???" thing which i genuinely thought we had left in like 2018. fuckin boss baby ass wrestling fans (not you)

Jordan reposted

lauren
@lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com

there are tons of legitimate criticisms of a folding phone that cost $2000 but i'm having a good laugh at "you will scroll tiktok less because of the aspect ratio" as the leading negative bullet point on an iphone duo review is funny. oh no my brain poison

Jordan
@jordanfreiman.bsky.social

the human body contains several muscles whose only purpose is to ruin your week when you accidentally use them for the first time in a decade

Jordan reposted

jirb
@jirb.bsky.social

we deserve a lot of shit, but I dont think we deserve to watch world series baseball at tropicana field

Jordan
@jordanfreiman.bsky.social

conversely, the second i saw obi wan hit this stance i was like "is he trying to get his arm cut off and/or shot in the head?"

Ted Geoghegan@tedgeoghegan.bsky.social

I've never really clocked it before, but Snipes' pose on the BLADE 2 poster is kinda of hilarious. Who holds a sword in that position? He's not blocking anything. And the other arm casually across the belly? I actually just tried to replicate this pose sans sword and it is VERY uncomfortable.