Alan Smithee

"For some, the voice was akin to a muffler-less 1970s Pontiac dragging concertina wire through a dog fight; but to her, it might as well have been Barry White."

What in the hell is even the context here?

You have to really, really, really fucking suck for your 8th grade teacher to come out and shame you like this. Damn.

He is in the reddest part of the state, too!

Well well well...

12:30 and 8:00 tip-offs. So not actually a double-header, then.

Whether it's Republicans not being allowed within 200 feet of a Chuck E. Cheese or Democrats making jokes about a Cheesecake Factory, both side have a fraught relationship with chain restaurants.

NEW: "Donald Trump was an active participant in Jeffrey Epstein’s sexual abuse of young women during the mid-to-late 1990s," per new House Judiciary Dem report. Report has new allegation that Trump raped a 24-year-old and then promised the victim a visa & NYU admission, demanding she stay quiet.

Your monthly reminder that if you're using ChatGPT to do your science, you're failing your colleagues, community, and all of us. Here, ChatGPT makes up data and presents it as the real thing — then apologizes when confronted.

for those of you unfamiliar, the most powerful social unit in Cincinnati is your high school class, which outranks friends, family, even lovers

Holy shit. That seems like a lot. Like a whole football stadium worth of people.

Over 2,000 alumni from Vivek’s all-boys catholic high school in Cincinnati have signed and circulated a petition demanding that he pull the ad and issue a public apology for “ignoring the moral responsibilities” of his Jesuit education. I think he’s pretty cooked.

What a fascinatingly stupid time to be alive. On steroids.

It makes me really happy that with all the handwringing about NIL, portal, dumb congressional labor smashing, and the rest of the miscellaneous horseshit, this sport can still deliver a truly idiotic product. Can’t break something that was never meant to work in the first place.

I know I keep yelling about this, but Ramaswamy was criticized back in April for characterizing Acton’s openness about her abuse as her “complaining.” He has had plenty of time to calibrate his messaging on this issue. He thought this ad was a winner, and he said it with his whole chest plus $4M.

Because who has the ability to juggle a calendar AND a parentsquare account?

Y'all don't understand. People fucking suck in my state. Which is why you have to suck too to get them to vote for you. They are too fucking stupid to ever want anything better. And they'll kill you for even trying. This is how it will always be.

it sounds contradictory but it's really not. They say "Protect" bc they see women's sports as a cute charity for little girls rather than legit competitions people care about and strive for. They're always baffled when they show up at women's sports and find people who actually care about the games

Figure of a Child Seated atop a Pig, 2nd–1st B.C, 📸 by @tomnweston

Congrats to Lula on overcoming Mark Zuckerberg and Donald Trump to defeat Hospital Pervert Jr., even as his opposition literally blocked off roads and turned off bus service during election day. Fascists are scary but they are always, 100% of the time, ultimately gigantic fucking losers.

Today I wrote about Abdul El Sayed's encounter with a Christian fascist named "Tommy," and the fine art of digging up the shameful things fascists bury under their accusations, exposing them for what they are, and then burying their lies in the hole left behind. www.the-reframe.com/taking-our-c...

It already is my town's second best exotic grocery selection.

Uh, okay. Rude.

I would simply not tell this to the newspaper.

The notorious conman Vivek Ramaswamy loves to claim he grew up in Cincinnati... but he apparently never learned to eat a bowl of its trademarked chili. One more week of this bozo! 🤞🏻

He's being held in Butler County?! That's rootin' tootin' Sheriff Dimmadome country.

Yes. The state that basically perfected "car culture" hates cars. I hear they despise wine and burritos, too

I've made some poor posting choices (as my blocked list will attest to), but if I ever get called out by The Menswear Guy, I would probably never log on again.

"The party left me. I used to be a Democrat, but know that Obama has made fun of Trump for making the White House look like a dictator designed an over-the-top chain restaurant I favor starving African children and bringing measles back"

Just heard my first Christmas advertisement... on October 25th. We secularists will continue our War on Christmas until it agrees to withdraw to the November 2nd borders agreed to in previous treaties. Defend the Halloween Homeland, my spooky brothers and sisters.

Gotta rant… I am not going to see the Elizabeth Holmes movie and it’s making me kind of crazy that it’s becoming a phenomenon, because the Theranos story is about who got fooled, not who fooled them. This jaunty @wired.com piece is reasonable all things considered www.wired.com/story/how-el...

Based on their school work, maybe we should pump the brakes on the young'uns saving us from Slopworld.

Oh, so this "Connor Safari" will be at the Nashville/Green Hills Cheesecake Factory.

Ain't no way I'm clicking on something associated with RealClear_anything. They've been a very poorly disguised right wing propaganda outlet from the start (assuming it's the same people).

I need to find the article from a while ago about how a stunningly large amount of running into NFL/NBA players occurs in The Cheesecake Factory (or its cousin, P.F. Chang's).

Ugh. This is basically everytime I get on Instagram. The perfect analogy for... several... reasons...

Oh no. I hope we're still on for Friday!

the Internet rn

There was a fucking hole in our planet’s *atmosphere* Like a legit, no joke, “this will unravel our entire ecosystem” hole in the world, and then we fixed it by working together across national and political lines As a species we decided, “we will survive” Let’s do that some more