Keith

I hate it when I accidentally say a bunch of ethnic cleansing rhetoric several times over a sustained period of time

I had a bird shit on my head at the Taj Majal, so I guess that's *extra* good luck?

Honestly kinda surprised the ball didn't drag Rome a couple yards with him, Caleb threw that ball so goddamn hard

Caleb Williams, imo

It's good someone else bailed out Caleb Williams for a change because he's definitely done it for them enough times

Ben Johnson call a normal pass play in the red zone: impossible

I'm trying to do a photoshoot in public and the same 3 women (you know the type) keep walking through my frames, they know what both me and the model are doing. I'm going to do it to them intentionally to see how they like that shit

What would the score be if these refs were not so flag-happy

I like how dude talks about how so many more people are using AI like it's not forcibly integrated into every piece of technology I have and then aggressively pushed at me

YES. JESUS CHRIST YES. ITS ONLY BEEN AROUND 3 YEARS. WE DON'T NEED IT. www.techspot.com/news/114234-...

The way the Packers are playing Bagent is kinda like how when you know someone has no jumper so you just don't guard them outside of 8-10 feet

Last night I was grilling some steaks and I turned off one of the burners so I could adjust the porcelain plate. So yeah did anyone tell you those things were hot? 😂🫠

So is every single White Sox batter going to strike out or

God man the White Sox shit the bed pretty hard and kicked my excitement right in the nuts

The Packers haven't shit the bed yet but it's peeking out like a turtle

The Bears defensive line... Is kinda ok now?

If your offense only manages to score 7 on this current Bears defense in good weather and good field conditions, your offense is USDA prime grade AAA ass.

At least the Bears had week 1

For someone who's made billions of dollars ("made"), it's actually kind of incredible now limited Donald Trump's understanding of the economy is. Like he doesn't have the first clue what a trade deficit is for example

I've seen Bears WRs who are willing blockers, or guys high on the depth chart who embrace it, but the WHOLE WR corps is looking to knock someone down on every play.

Pointing out Caleb Williams takes a long time to throw is like saying Steph Curry has bad shot selection. He does that because he can, because he has the ability to buy himself more time when he wants to

Scoring 59 points used to take the Bears a month and a half.

The "you forgot, New York" people are hardly ever from NYC

I think the "where I was on 9-11" thing is kind of cliche after 25 years but it really is one of those things where everyone who was alive then (and not a baby) basically remembers the entire day

The usual suspects have made "Lake America" their entire personality already.

It's impossible to feel sorry for or respect the farmers that are being screwed over right now. All that information was right there in front of them and this is what they chose, and they would do so again

If you are about to miss your exit it is solely, totally, absolutely 100% your problem and it's the responsibility of exactly 0 other people on the road to make sure you get to it. Skill issue. Try paying attention.

The only way* to get rid of a door to door salesman is to be rude to them, and their whole approach is based around your reluctance to do that. *sometimes if you let the conversation continue too long you can get them to go away by signing up for what they're selling and immediately canceling it

The death of Criston Cole should be a national holiday in Westeros

When I was little I used to think God really liked drawing and painting because I heard "Our father, who art in heaven" in church and thought that's what the "art" meant. (I was a kid and kids are stupid)

I would like to return to the time before every single online store interrupted your shopping with a pop-up that says something along the lines of "sign up to receive our marketing emails to receive a 10% discount on your first order."

The thing I remember the most about Lindsey Graham is how every time someone suggested maybe considering killing less brown people sometimes he would immediately get on Fox News and shit his pants about it.

When a politician dies we see a lot of hagiographies about them. If you mention they were a terrible person IRL, you get chastised. My feeling? If you don't want people to talk shit about you after you die, don't be shitty when you're alive.

My dad was in the hospital for a week with a really bad infection, and it was touch and go for a while, but he's back home and I know he's feeling better because he's back on Facebook sharing a bunch of posts about how much he hates Republicans

If Mitch McConnell is in fact dead, and Republicans are attempting to cover it enough long enough to pull off an underhanded and dishonest legislative procedure for any advantage they can get, that's exactly what he would've wanted