kit💤

what if The Mask (1994, Jim Carrey) was transgender

what if in the beginning god a/i generated the heavens and the earth. is that why everything totally sucks ass and is super lame?

Just remembered one of the greatest X-Men posts of all time

one of those "what colour is your soul" or "what [thing/trope/genre/etc] represents you" quizzes but it's a "what gerber's baby food represents your soul" quiz (my soul is most like gerbers meat sticks)

once saw a professor say online that they know when students lie (ex: 4th grandma death this semester) but they're not ready for my "i was raised in a small cult town where i have 72 grandmas and i'm sending photo evidence at the current funeral which is escalating to scary ritual violence" prank

i am going to Teleport to the state of iowa to remove the mesh of Iowa Senior Senator Chuck Grassleys brain from his physical body in order to inspect it at 600% in Blender programe

THE JOKER : wanna know how I got these scars? ZOHRAN MAMDANI, SPEAKING PERFECT MANDARIN: How you got your scars is a personal story, but I want to make sure that every New Yorker who has scars gets to tell their story. That’s why I’m reducing MTA fares on weekends

mario is real and when you turn the nintendo off it hurts him

This is crazy. Guy down my block died in his apartment and he didn’t have any family or roommates it took a week for anyone to notice he was missing. And when cops and EMS finally got in there they discovered his Funko Pops had been eating his corpse

Getting the most rabid kpop stan vs the most insanely devout priest in the same room and asking them to fight over who has the cooler parasocial relationship

I used the power of the One Ring. I recognize that it's evil, and I expect a lot of people to be mad at me for using it. Sorry! However, I plan to continue using it. Here's why: (1/62)

wtf is with doing things with "A.I."? whatever happened to stuff just being done by "A Guy"?

"Sorry. I burned the food I was preparing for lunch. But I can run across the street and grab us some Krusty burgers." "Okay. Sounds great. I'll help pay." See how easy that is?????

latest men multivitamin gummies i picked up from the store are great and tasty. truly a society grows great when men donate their bodies post-mortem to science, in order to be ground into gummies whose great and tasty multivitamins they will never digest. thank you, men! you are great and tasty!

how i'm standing by on the 7th day after watching the sadako tape

the movie is called "Goodfellas" but these three fellas just killed a guy. WTF, hollywood????

end racism for everyone except gregory house, m.d. (he gets kinda funny with it)

we don't talk enough about how leia presided over luke and han's wedding at the end of the first movie

My feet hurt. My back hurts. It's cold. I'm tired. Other than that, everything's just ducky.

This will put New York on the map

HELP!!!!! i am being DETAINED on ELVIS ISLAND for being without papers!!!!

how many spiders get run over by cars every year? and why aren't we talking about it?

Star Wars Zero Company (PS5/XSX) up for preorder at VGP ($57.36 US Dollars) buff.ly/kK6LC34 Amazon amzn.to/4uYVIv6 Best Buy buff.ly/JkEFN9d GameStop buff.ly/IeaV9Lq Target buff.ly/S4Fs3pH Walmart buff.ly/Q72uqv8 #ad

There’s negative things about Facebook, but you can't deny the positive vibes when someone posts like, “Just wanted everyone to know that I’m the Zodiac Killer and I’ve decided to go back to zodiac killing and hope to murder many of you,” and most of the replies are “Congrats, I’m so proud of you.”

how it feels to exfil with zero runner kills one blue weapon mod and an unstable gunmetal

Hey man, are we cool? I noticed a line of candles on the hallway floor lit up automatically in sequence as I approached your door

ALFRED: why do we fall, master Bruce? DEPRESSED BATMAN: because we’re fail and we fucking SUCK alfred

Sorry, boss, can’t make it to work today. I’m real busy doing a tragicomedic bit alone in my apartment.

if jar jar binks had breasts and was in knights of the old republic it might look a little something like this

Generate an image of Woody Woodpecker at a grave surrounded by other Woodys Woodpecker saying "I don't care who this offends: the man from Up shouldn't have put balloons on his house to celebrate that his wife died." Send to all living family, Linkedin contacts, and girls I asked out in high school.

I have no morals or belief system

grogu has been killed and cooked by the famous 1940s vampire kingpin, ReportoftheWeek

Grok like Bing www.tiktok.com/@harfost?_r=...

[guy who missed the first few seconds of Star Wars] whoa is this happening right now? In our galaxy??

I love rock climbing 🧗🪨

people used to get arrested for cool things. i want to be arrested for seduction (frank sinatra style)

fandom is a huge basement laboratory staffed by children which lies underneath all pop culture, and for better or worse the experiments they produce will shape its future!

I'm here you fuckaas bitch

cuban pete is the only thing preserving my sanity between all the upcoming deadlines/midterms/a couple overdue assignments that i have..... only if i survive and live will he be able to teach me to chick chicky boom