maimonides nutz

Hello new visitors! If you’re thinking of following, please note that while I occasionally take a principled stance, I mostly just shitpost about the Talmud

My favorite “perplexed” is the expression on someone’s face trying to read Guide for the Perplexed as Hebrew without realizing that it’s written in Judeo-Arabic.

leadership via experience!

step one: ???? ??????? ??? ????????????? !

The main difference between me and Maimonides is that Maimonides wrote "Guide of the Perplexed," whereas I am just Perplexed.

Oh man, therapist's kids represent! ✊

Rav Hirsch Commentary: צפרדע this is related to ספרד which means Spanish. This indicates some sort of artificial Spaniard. This still is present in history in the fact that all frogs are naturalized citizens of Spain.

[frog voice] buenos dias

While I appreciate the religious sensitivity, this person also set me up for the most irresistible trolling opportunity, so I took it

Ah, hubris, thy name is Jeremiah Vance and I am so proud of my role in the historic thread of Jews telling this putz he was patently wrong. May his name live in infamy.

The big brain meme is missing the obvious extension: the plague was one giant Spaniard. Don Quixote was really onto something.

me: so you say that the extensive process you have outlined for Teshuvah is only complete when one is faced with the same situation and chooses to act differently. But what if I don’t know at which part I am supposed to change my actions? What then? Maimonides: you call yourself Maimonides…WHAT??

Despite being Jewish, I seem to be the only person at my job who likes processing the Christmas donations….however this does not mean I am at all qualified to do it.

They’re saying that the new Christmas tradition is Elon keeps a list of kids who laughed at his jokes and kids who did not laugh and then brings rockets to the “good” ones and sends the “bad” ones to the emerald mines…they’re still working on revising the song

Despite being Jewish, I seem to be the only person at my job who likes processing the Christmas donations….however this does not mean I am at all qualified to do it.

I couldn’t take it anymore so I broke down and told my mom to drop the toxic narcissist in her life, The toxic narcissist in question:

pretty on brand for me to like a post in IG because I think it’s spiritual shitposting and then I go to their account and realize they’re dead serious

Remember to check your kid’s candy today! I found a far fetched Talmudic scenario in this Snickers bar!

Two customers made me the subject of their crusade against thrift stores yesterday… you guys do know that Nestle takes water FROM THE GROUND and charges people like $1.50 a bottle for it…right??

I hear we’re talking about her again so I’m bringing back my soapbox that all the dunk quote tweeting is what made her so powerful and by the way I have a store where I sell cool art as merch www.bonfire.com/store/maimon...

me: I don’t believe in soulmates The Talmud: forty days before an embryo is formed the Bat Kol (Heavenly Voice) comes down and announces who the embryo will marry me: alright so clearly that Bat Kol B*tch was drunk that day…

me: I don’t believe in soulmates The Talmud: forty days before an embryo is formed the Bat Kol (Heavenly Voice) comes down and announces who the embryo will marry me: alright so clearly that Bat Kol B*tch was drunk that day…

but I worked in the Mission Bay Area one summer when it wasn’t built yet, so any time people mention it I just hear distant jackhammers

FREE RAV YIRMEYA* *with the purchase of any other rav yirmiyah for the same price or higher

I mean, they did free him from studying with people who weren't interested in the minutiæ

four entered the orchard and then we kicked the shit out of him

[me, wherever I see these two accounts interact]

I put this on IG but want y’all’s input too: which would be the best text for a R’Yirmeya shirt? A. Rav Yirmeya was right B. Rav Yirmeya did nothing wrong C. FREE RAV YIRMEYA

Look at me, fever dreaming up interviews in which weird men with glasses and a beard state that they’re not Jewish