Mari Cohn

Things said at my D&D table with no context, a thread: *bonk* “Why is there a newt in a forcecage!?”

In honor of Ryan Murphy bringing back Glee, I will no longer be reclaiming the word “faggot.” I will now be using it as a slur.

You’re laughing? Matthew Morrison as Will Schuster is going to rap “My Shot” in the Glee reboot, and you’re laughing?

Dad wants to go on a trip with my brothers and I. I started planning a fun weekend in New Orleans Instead we’re going to a remote part of Yellowstone in the dead of winter that requires snowmobiling for four hours in -10 degree weather I’m going to die on this trip.

Of all the things that did not happen, this didn’t happen the most

I used to think Ryan Murphy was incompetent. Now with this season of American Horror Story, I’m convinced he knows what he’s doing and he hates us all.

Fuck, I just realized I never denounced the Muslim Brotherhood

My mayor’s a billionaire My friends are poor My bridge is Golden Valkyries in four!!!

Hi Ryan Murphy. I’m a gay man and a bad actor. Please cast me in American Horror Story.

5 year old Rhoam Summer was killed in his classroom in Bend, Oregon yesterday, the youngest of the four victims. His aunt said Rhoam was a fast runner, a fearless climber, and he loved reading and stuffed animals.

You’re laughing? They skinned The Grink and you’re laughing?

Thelma and Louise’s car flew better than Elon’s

A bar owner ran my image through AI without my permission to make a flyer for a drag show. We called them out on it, and they made another AI flyer without our photos MIND YOU the host had already made a flyer herself, which looked so so so much better Bar owners’ AI psychosis needs to be studied

My favorite Chinese restaurant is closing in two weeks (combo of rising rent and the chef wants to retire). Would it be disrespectful to ask for their cumin lamb recipe?

When I was younger, I dreamed of being the White House press secretary (I was a big CJ Cregg fan). Seeing a dumb bitch who can’t read up at the podium has really tainted the job for me. At least KKKaroline could string a sentence together.

The conservative group GrowSF dropped their endorsement of Manny Yekutiel and endorsed Darshini Patel, a literal socialist, because they hate Gary McCoy so much. For context, that’s like if the Heritage Foundation dropped their support for Kevin Spacey and started backing AOC over Tim Walz.

In the name of the moon, I’ll cut a bitch

What is with SNL’s obsession with Shane Gillis? His “humor” is not creative or funny. It’s just offensive. And they’re speed running him to the five timers club. For…what? Out of spite that public pressure over his racist tweets made you drop him from the cast?

I just saw a video where a guy went onto an anti-AI subreddit and fed the criticisms against AI into ChatGPT so it could summarize them for him. I don’t even want to be alive anymore what the fuck

republicans used to complain about the violence in gangster rap and now they want to livestream an execution

I miss who I was before I had to know what the emoluments clause or the Strait of Hormuz are.

Could this dipshit stop trying to poison us

Alexander Skarsgård in Wicker *cannot* be your “hear me out!” That is a conventionally attractive basket!

From the start of the D8 supervisor race, I’ve been solidly Anyone But Manny. I like all three of the other candidates for different reasons, but I’ve finally made my decision: I’m ranking Gary McCoy #1. He has the experience to be an effective progressive on the board. #2 and 3 spots TBD.

Live, Laugh, Lie to the cops

Amazing. No notes ❤️

I’ve lost track of how many husbands I’ve had, but none of them were mine.

And I was correct. Manny dropped out earlier today.

WOW! Even sentient turd Rafael Mandelman dropped his support for Manny. I predict Manny will drop out of the race by the end of the day. Raffi posted this to his Insta story about 25 minutes ago:

American Horror Story: 13

From Wednesday: it's #EHG 633 with Mari Cohn! #MonsterTheLizzieBordenStory, #BestOfTheBest, #GameChanger, a #DrunkHistory Canon pitch, more -- including our lead topic, #LineOfFire! extrahotgreat.com/eh...

Athletes shouldn’t host SNL

If Russia stops fighting, the war ends. If Ukraine stops fighting, Russia kills their leaders, steals their land, abducts their children, erases their history and culture, and forces them all to be loyal to their oppressor.

I hope Obama wears a tan suit to Trump’s funeral

I’m old enough to remember when republicans were furious at Obama for ordering spicy mustard and using a selfie stick…and now they make excuses for the guy who made frequent trips to Pedophile Island and can’t stop shitting himself.

All I’m going to say about “The Life of a Showgirl: The Encore” is that TS13 had *BETTER* be a divorce album.

I don’t get why data centers drive up utility costs for everyone else. Pay your own damn utilities