marl

Ask your shaman if ego death is right for you.

I remember the first time I heard this song. Mad frisson. When I think of my 20s, I think of this.

Unblocking the haters. Hope they like skeets about soup and ennui. #healed

Not doom scrolling. Death scrolling.

He dead yet

Just said bye Felicia in an unironic way

I hate gay Halloween. What do you mean you’re Ken Paxton’s scary eye.

Bloomfield Colonoscopy Center is hella pumped for my procedure. They’ve been texting me for weeks. #old

Did the same person who scored the Godfather soundtracks also do the music for Animal House? There are similarities.

Couple's costume idea: Luigi Mangione and that piece of shit who had it coming

Perhaps a rather GenX thing for me to say but that self righteous heckler who thought he could get Abdul El-Sayed’s goat was definitely raised in a home where his opinion was too highly valued.

One month of being cannabis-free! Mixed feelings.

I guess I live here now.

Selfish people don’t mourn what they miss. They mourn what they can’t extract. *honks clown nose*

Just a reminder that there’s plenty of fun to poke at the Bezos wedding without scrutinizing the appearance of women.

One of my threads posts is semi-viral and I feel nothing. Ommmmmmmmmmm

Too mature to post a picture of a jock strap stuck on a tree branch. Definitely immature enough to talk about it.

Boebert is boycotting Harvard by burning the Harvard licensed baby tee she got from forever 21

💀

Who’s ever like, “I could really go for a Toblerone.”

New rabbi selected for the synagogue at Walnut and 7th in Greatneck. *releases auditory plumes of klezmer music* 🎻 💨

A-list actors doing commercials for credit cards and cruise lines is a recession indicator

Claire Kincaid appreciation post.

Tattoo removal from the tendon-y part of your wrist is great punishment for appropriating Sanskrit in my quest to be cool in my thirties.

Not rushing into my next relationship unless there’s promise of my partner putting lotion on my back each night. Hey we all have our kinks.

Wish they sold matzoh loosies.

Never forget that the most joyful episode of Black Mirror isn’t San Junipero but Nosedive bcs our protagonist frees herself from the shackles of conformity.

Sometimes I really resent the angel on my shoulder. 👿

“You’re in therapy? Name three different trauma responses.”

Hi Bluesky. What sassy sayings have I missed

Why isn’t it called Ukrainia

A White Lotus spin off called Keeping Up with the Ratliffs.

Bluesky is a lot like Costco to me. So many delicious things but overwhelming and I can only visit once a quarter.

Only way Joe Rogan can redeem himself is by completely repudiating Trump, his policies, Musk, white supremacy, the anti-vaccination movement, racism, LGBTQ hate, misogyny, and rape culture, and use 95% of his net worth to help the people hurt by Trump and his minions. Maybe sacrifice a thumb, too.

I wasn’t scheming. I was putting on hand lotion.

How have we not already started sending dildos to the governor’s mansion. 🍆

If the nurse can’t draw blood from your vein, does that mean you’re dead inside?

A grammatically incorrect post of mine is making traction on Threads and I hate it.

It doesn’t lift my spirits to see posts of all these people in power being buffoons. But it doesn’t hurt either.

Need another Turnip admin gaffe to keep my joke muscles supple.

F’ing wild that the Severance situation doesn’t resolve in one season. WHY?! I can’t. 🙈

Pete Hegseth accidentally sent me a dick pic.

Pete Hegseth accidentally texted me his Wendy’s order.

Happy two-monthiversary of the inauguration of president Elon Musk! Money buys elections. You did it, buddy!