Mas Mark

Illinois First Lady MK Pritzker donates half a million dollars to Amy Acton.

A meme is a wish your heart makes.

It's like when Elvis died, but sad.

Natalie Harp gives me serious "Selena Fan Club President" vibes.

All my memes seemed to converge this past week!

I'd love to watch the speech tonight, but I have to wash my hair.

Trump takes his inaugural flight on the Qatari jet today.

The term "nuclear family" seems to be trending among conservatives. Are they saying that grandma has to move out?

News flash -- Gert Jonnys have dropped out of the Freedom 250 concert! Good for them.

The day the music died.

"Teleported to the Waffle House" sounds like a collaborative project between Laurie Anderson and the B-52s.

The hand that robs the cradle screws the world.

Kristi Noem receives a fake promotion in an attempt to save face. Truth be told, though, to save face, she would need a trowel.

Happy Pi Day to those who observe, including Leibniz, Wallis, Euler, and Ramanujan!

I don't know whether Trump has been anointed, but he *is* oily.

The times we live in -- such childishness, writ large.

They preempted "Pinky and the Brain" for THIS...?!?

Just shoot me.

Sean Duffy is the one criticizing people for how they dress at the airport.

My late great friend Reeva might have said, "Look at him just standing there, like the shamas in the pickle factory."

That face you make whenever someone says, "Yes, but Obama put in a basketball court."

Ya know how certain folks complain that we're "destroying history" every time a Confederate statue is taken down?

Breaking news: Trump has named the Jardiance lady to head the FDA.

All this talk about dolls...

As my colleague Dan Savage likes to say, not the obituary I'd hoped to read this morning.

It's funny when Pee-Wee says it; Trump, not so much.

"Just an administrative error."

I would like to nominate Maxwell Smart for national security advisor.

Trump doesn't know how to wield soft power. Just ask Melania.

♫ Chain, chain, chain, chainsaw of fools

This is not a drill.

Well Trump did bring down the price of nest eggs.

Real Time with Bill Maher has been back on the air since January. Without even watching, I know that he’s complained that he once saw someone wearing a mask while driving alone. (That person was me. I was on my way to pick someone up and didn’t want to spew my germs throughout the compartment.)

Adrian Brody thinks this speech is embarrassingly long & self-indulgent. #StateOfTheUnion

"Fuck" -- The White House chef as he dumps a tray of Chicken Kyiv in the trash.

when you're watching a movie with your parents and a sex scene comes on

Oops 😬