matt b

When I was a kid, my dad used to complain about having to rebuy all his VHS on DVD and all his vinyl on CD. That's how I feel about new social media platforms now. Follow me for more grumpy old man shit.

TIL they're still making SNL.

my favorite counterexample to "the brain is a computer" is in this article about a man who was physically missing around 90% of his brain and still managed to live normally. you do not reside in your brain. the materialist view of consciousness is simply wrong www.thelancet.com/journals/lan...

when i'm old

A dark, dark day

"Refusing to tear my clothes and smear ashes on my face in performative mourning for a white man that espoused violence is … not the same as violence." Nothing heralds death of democracy quite like a journo fired for speaking the truth, a WaPo with integrity would've published that as an editorial.

boxd.it/ibww9 #letterboxd #moviemonday

What kind of stupid timeline invents the Terminator franchise and then goes on to let a government contractor with a satellite network start an AI company anyway. #grok

Guess what I did today.

boxd.it/ibww9 Looking for people to follow on #letterboxd

A hundred years ago, my grandfather was an electrical engineer for the telephone company. So this is kind of funny, because I build telecom software for a living.

lux aeterna

I keep seeing headlines about how little time Maine democrats have to replace Platner. I can't help but think how much more time they'd have if they listened the _first_ time he told us who he was.

I'm off work today which means it's noon, I'm already high, and I ate a whole box of macaroni and cheese. Happy birthday america

I'm disappointed it's not a Wetzel's Pretzels.

They should've wheeled in the autopen instead.

Melinda didn't buy this story five years ago during the Maxwell trial, I don't buy it now. If the woman Gates was married to for 27 years couldn't give him the benefit of the doubt, why should anyone else? #trustwomen

nothing feels like the future as much as purchasing a $4 can of something called "smilezz™ unsugar prebiotic sodaa™" that tastes like you accidentally poured water into a half-drank sunkist and then left it on your table overnight

I am so glad they fixed the goddamn green Skittles.

fuck pickleball

You'd think these people would be more embarrassed to announce so loudly that they're monolingual. Like, Duolingo is free, man.

As a "digital native" it's hilarious to see a boomer throwing a "omfg i quit this site u guys r mean" fit in 2025. Some people didn't spend their formative years on hotornot and it shows.

There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your LLM.

Did you know you can watch the Twilight Zone free on Pluto? pluto.tv/on-demand/se...

In the not too distant future..

As a software product manager, please financially ruin the entire AI industry, I am tired of explaining to people in ties that "no, AI can't do that, and even if it could do that, you couldn't afford to train a model for it."

GOP politicians have always lied about places like Cuba, but only 1 in 3 Americans have a passport; we're gullible about other countries. But I lived in LA during the ICE protests, and I was in Chicago literally four days ago - this is "Baghdad Bob" levels of misinformation. Who believes this?

Once a year I fly to Chicago, eat dinner at Carmine's, spend the night in a boutique hotel, and then go home. Every year I complain about it. This year is no exception.

You know how when you see somebody bicycling to work with a helmet on, you assume they're into fitness, but without the helmet you assume they must have a DUI?

IT FOLLOWS (RESPECTFULLY)

"I completely agree with Nick Fuentes" is a sentence I never thought I'd write.

The problem with being an Ozzy fan in mourning is what do you wear when you already wear all black?

I remember the first time my father fell for the lie of the "universal remote."

Good news, evangelicals! Trump says you don't have any reason to act like fucking martyrs anymore. #happyholidays

Keith Richards is so old that making jokes about how old Keith Richards is had time to go out of style and seem now like a quaint reminder of a bygone era that won't ever make sense to zoomers - much like Keith Richards himself.

For folks that have never been to Texas: the minimum wage is $7.25 and the median household income is less than you made at your first job out of college. $132 a day doesn't sound like much, but in Texas that's more money in lobbyist perks than many of their constituents earn working full time jobs.

Even in these troubled times, I can't help but think "somebody's going to bed tonight with fewer fingers than they woke up with." Happy 4th to those who celebrate. ✌️🧨

supreme court ruled that soylent green is actually not people, yum

Shared an elevator with Kevin Bacon. Just the two of us, and he didn't seem chatty so I left him alone. Halfway to my floor I realized I was going to win "seven degrees of separation" for the rest of my life and TLDR, I laughed aloud in a silent elevator with Kevin Bacon.

Hills I will die on, Star Wars edition; Age 10: A-Wings are faster than X-Wings 20: Han shooting first establishes the starting point of his character arc 30: Young Anakin force ghost undermines Vader's redemption 40: Mos Eisley is an aspiring filmmaker's literary representation of Los Angeles

There is no "other side" to issues like bodily autonomy and equal treatment under the law, dissenting opinions are bad faith arguments. Intellectually dishonest posts boost engagement metrics but damage real discourse, making "usage" a short-sighted, profit-driven measure of a platform's value.

The hardest part of getting older is the day you realize you can no longer see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch.