Matthewせいじ

Hi, I’m Matthew Seiji Burns. You may know me from such tweets as “They call him Big Hat Logan because he wears a big hat” or “Sam. It’s me, Die-Hardman. Wanted to let you know there's banana bread in the kitchen.” Check out my debut novel, about a guy who has a bad time.

Everyone made fun of the Softbank goose that lays golden eggs presentation but you can see why such ideas may be novel in some circles

It’s time for a second Great Vowel Shift

I love it when an actor on stage flips a light switch and someone in the lighting booth in back turns on a spotlight at the same time, that is perfect theatre to me

[imsim audio log voice] You nincompoops keep forgetting the key code to the storage room, so I’ve changed it to something you can’t forget: 4. That‘s right... 4! If you run out of ammo during tomorrow’s training exercise, you only have yourselves to blame! 4, got it??

Whenever I enter a bustling medieval town square I always make sure to stroll past the guy doing a fire breathing trick without taking any particular note of him

If you’re in Seattle this Saturday, you could do worse than to come check out the mini-doc I made about @ekanaut.bsky.social

this is an exapunks level

My program at the Federal Bureau of Control employs 10,000 men shaving at the mirror while randomized phrases are piped over loudspeakers to see which ones cause them to distractedly nick themselves

How do professional chefs get eggs in the pan so the sunny side is always up

today's idea: "what if HACK*MATCH (the minigame from exapunks) was a japan-only famicom game that got to use the konami VRC7" (original music by matthew s. burns, this is how i'm coping with being too scared to compose)

Hays Code film noir: We gotta show that “crime doesn’t pay,” so what we’re gonna do is have 95 minutes of crime being exciting and fun to do and then they’ll die in the last 5 minutes in a cool dramatic way. That’ll keep those audiences straight

No one likes an old guy going “It’s cuuursed!” but I do understand how that comes about, now

I want little Big Walk figures with interchangeable parts for different poses and colors

Why do the best podcast guests always sound like they are calling in on a piezo buzzer turned contact microphone from quasi-zenith orbit

A24 announces Big Walk: Origins, based on the hit co-op puzzle adventure game from House House. The film promises a “deep dive” into the world’s extensive lore, answering questions such as who built the island, why everything looks the way it does, and - finally! - official names for in-game objects

Bringing this one over in case I’m right

Underworld figures are always sitting in the back of their nightclubs so you have to walk by all the hot people dancing and having a great time first before talking business with them, this is deliberate to remind you that life is full of fun, lift your mood and bolster your spirits

i still think about this every time i see banana bread

[big game company meeting room] Alls we gotta do is screw up less than the other guys. Easy

Being the most famous person from your school is statistically unlikely, however you can increase your chances by going to as many schools as possible; eventually you may be the most famous from at least one of them, likely as the person going to many schools in order to be the most famous from one

Read my novel. Link in bio

(inside the wicker man) Our man of wicker is collapsing

Nice consequences. Unintended?

Working on my pitch for the “Nordic Film Universe Fighting Game” so if I can commission someone to make an animated mockup of Death from The Seventh Seal versus The Match Factory Girl let me know

You should be friends with a podcaster, so that when they telephone to say “I’ve just won the World Podcasting Award!” you can be purely happy for them without so much as a pang of jealousy (advice only applies if you are not also a podcaster)

If you meant to instruct me to “get good,” then perhaps you need to check your spelling before posting. Curious that someone purportedly dedicated to the pursuit of excellence would typewrite in so careless a manner

The existence of the Westfield Southcenter implies the existence of the Eastfield Northcenter... no, wait, the Eastmount Northfringe

Person who invented mahjong: I invented my new game mahjong to exalt the human spirit and benefit all peoples

Most people don’t know this, but when a timer is counting down like ten, nine, eight, seven and so on all of the intervals between the numbers have slightly different durations. In particular the moment between five and four takes the longest. Pay attention next time and you will notice.

Another day of work at the Moonflow crossing. Everybody keeps asking me if they can “riiiide ze shoopuf.” Buddy, I haven’t talked like that in years. Also, sure, go ahead.

(experiment, wip / unfinished) Attempted to produce a song in the style of @matthewseiji.com on various puzzle game OSTs.

Who decided there should be two different Seattle suburbs called Redmond and Edmonds

Everyone who is saying mean things about the sun right now will be sorry when it expands to a red giant and swallows the Earth. Naturally those of us being nice to it will be spared

Process is printed on premium coated paper with pink and rose-gold Pantone inks plus white-foil blocking. The page edges are sprayed pink with cryptic white decorative symbols. www.tuneandfairweather.com/products/pro...

I’ve got a take that will make you mad, are you ready? Are you listening? I’m warning you, you’re gonna get mad. Okay? This take, it’s gonna make you super mad. No don’t, don’t walk away, come back here. Are you ready? I’m warning you, okay? You’re gonna be soooo mad at this take, that I have. Okay?

People who like rock music say “rock on,” but people who like pop music don’t say “pop on.” Why should this be the case?

I appreciate the addition of the no-reposts setting but there should also be a setting where you will only see someone’s reposts and not their posts

Oh my god, like, that’s so stochastic.

"Sometimes you cannot fix the machine and the harm it does. Sometimes you must break it." An essay by game writer @hannahnicklin.bsky.social on Eliza's AI therapist, Luddites, and Slack ghosts. www.jank.cool/desire-withi...

Yessss! It’s out! An essay I wrote using Zachtronics/ @matthewseiji.com’s Eliza, @jathansadowski.com’s The Mechanic and the Luddite, and Calvin Kasulke’s Several People are Typing to examine… well, the present moment. Games and books in conversation with one another ✌🏻

I was filling out a Sound Transit survey and at the end they asked “Is there anything other transit agencies are doing that we should look at?” so I wrote “I like BART’s anime mascots.” Later, after I submitted it, I realized I had also indicated my age earlier in the survey. Well, that’s fine

Don’t say you “resonated” with something unless it subjected you to a repeating force whose frequency caused you to absorb energy from it and vibrate with greater amplitude

I don’t think you understand, Mr. Bond... this is an “unconference.”

“Go ahead and put all of your name ideas into the spreadsheet,” I say, cackling internally, for I have preemptively set the blank cells to “Strikethrough”

OCEANS are now back to being regular oceans. – Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (end card)

They make the last little bit of Kewpie mayonnaise impossible to get out of the bottle on purpose, to mildly annoy you. It may sound paradoxical, but ultimately, it increases your feelings for Kewpie mayonnaise.

My top four Tweets of all time (I am from an alternate universe): - Pants on forwards, gentlemen - An alligator is a type of fruit - Oh King, oh my greatest King! - I have Begeisterung

In time for @bandcamp.com Friday, we have a new option to buy the full discography of @coincidence.games OSTs at a discount. There's some rad music I worked on in there: Add Astra! Kaizen! There's also some rather rad music I had nothing to do with, namely @matthewseiji.com's U.V.S. Nirmana OST!

I’m the guy in the Batman movie who’s aligned against or skeptical of Batman and refers to him as “This so-called ‘bat’ ‘man’…” in order to let everyone know I don’t support the concept of Batman