Michael

Ruin a song by adding "In My Pants" to the title. Smells Like Teen Spirit In My Pants

This is great and much needed but why limit it to video games? Digital ownership is a problem that affects all multimedia purchases from music to movies to e-books

here take a hit and pass it

There Will Be Blood for Tax Purposes

CARRY DAVON HAMILTON OFF THE FIELD

Sky puppies love bananas 🥺🖤

Gators OL is getting worked by Mizzou's defense my goodness

DO NOT SEEK THE TREASURE One of my favorite scenes from O Brother Where Art Thou. I figured I should try to draw all 3 of the Soggy bottom boys, why not. #art #comic

On the *same day* the Cornell Seven drugged and raped Jane Doe, Cornell banned four students (including the President of Cornell JVP) from campus for three years for nonviolent, pro-Palestine protests. The same Cornell officials let the rapists off with apology essays.

make a band edible: Godspeed You! Blackened Grouper

RIP Tim Curry. Here having the time of his life in a video game. youtu.be/U_U59u69tys?...

I begged the doctor "please don't pour the big vaccine in my baby" but they poured the big vaccine anyway and now my baby likes trains and doesn't talk to me anymore and is 28 years old

The vaccines are too big but our brave president has promised to make them smaller

They made a law that you can't drink out of the hose in California. You know how people used to drink out of hoses? They won't let you do it in California. It's a bad situation and we're going to be looking into it very soon.

me on a date

Newly acquired Panther, Devin Lloyd, illustrates how depth can create a coverage sack vs. the Chargers. Learn coverage nuances with MatchQuarters: www.matchquarters.com/p/teaching-y... --

One of the main issues in Cover 3 and Fire Zone coverage is the depth of the vertical hook dropper. In standard Cover 3, it's the Weak Hook. Depth allows him to cut off the Deep Cross that plagues single-high coverages. In Fire Zones, it is the Middle Hook. ...

This is Daisy and Luna. Daisy doesn’t like car rides so Luna comforts her until they both fall asleep. Extremely heartwarming. 13/10 for both

Me trying to be normal:

There are exactly four genders

Mom, come pick me up, the best lack all conviction and the worst are full of passionate intensity.

“I know you miss the Wainwrights, Bobby, but they were weak and stupid people—and that’s why we have wolves and other large predators.”

Me: *screams into the void* The Void: Stop trauma dumping on me!

5 authors I’ve read at least 5 books by: Joe Abercrombie China Mieville Daniel Abraham Steven Erikson Terry Pratchett

The sitcoms of my youth led me to believe that hosting my boss for dinner in the hopes of making partner would be a much bigger part of adulthood than has actually been the case

I have applied for non-profit status so that sex with me can officially be considered charity

Reality has run out of new ideas

You hear so much about Yacht Rock but it's like no one even remembers Cruise Ship Country or Tugboat Techno

performing self-care by getting so high at work they think I'm sick and send me home

I decided to read Hyperion last year but no one told me that it just ends abruptly without resolving the main story. Really enjoying this one so far, though.

*flirting* hey baby, wanna fix me?

Improve a movie title by adding "With Big Naturals" "Forrest Gump With Big Naturals"

Can AI give me cheddar cheese that doesn't cause gas? No? Then shut up about it!

Is this ozempic face?

New from me: There's some context missing from all of the conversation about Lynn Jones Turpin, the Black journalist who went viral for her words to the Jacksonville Jaguars head coach

Interviewer: It says here you flunked out of community college Applicant: that's right Intv: And you've been to court three times due to unpaid child support. Tell me, are you giant baby who is scared of everything all the time? Applicant: definitely, 100% Intv: Ok you're hired. Welcome to ICE!

Abolish ICE

Live tonight 7p EST Disguised Coverage will be live w/ a comprehensive Bills vs Jaguars playoff breakdown featuring one of my favorite guests, detailing what you need to know -Schematic/structural advantages -Where the game will be won & lost -Under the radar pieces -& more Link: buff.ly/6wWuRuk