Michael Rose

I went to my 25th college reunion at Brandeis this past weekend and only had to defend Zohran Mamdani once from charges of antisemitism, please clap

Ridiculous Massachusetts things: to run a restaurant in the Commonwealth you must be a COMMON VICTUALER

One thing to know about me is that if there's a Thanksgiving sandwich on the menu I'm almost certainly going to order it

GOLDEN BOWL vibes This is a joke for like two people

Imagining the person who thinks this is how you gain representation

Starting a new job today, technically no longer a journalist

Whenever anyone asks what my favorite subway station is (not a common question, admittedly) this is my answer, for precisely this reason!

Why is Shane Gillis

just got vaxed, but I wouldn't necessarily say I'm relaxed

Did they just All Lives Matter these peppers??

whenever anyone claims there haven't been any worthwhile technological advancements in recent decades I'd like to point them to "undo send" in gmail

Why does this look like a McSweeney's post

I quite enjoy pretending that granola bars are healthy

This doesn't really seem like the storm we were promised tbh

Just talking up the movie CROSSING DELANCEY at the gay bar at 1 am, as you do

Just discovered that the regular sized M&M packs at my local Walgreens are locked up (along with a lot of other candy) but the large size movie theater style M&Ms in a box are not locked up. Make it make sense.

Just came across a LinkedIn post in which someone mourning Duncan Sheik praised, among other things, his "personal brand" lol

Frankly I'm a little skeptical of heterosexuals who get excited about Fat Bear Week

can we please call it on the phrase "highs, lows and whoas" on award show recaps, tysm

I saw TEENAGE SEX AND DEATH AT CAMP MIASMA yesterday and was worried about the gore/gross out factor but THE PITT grosses me out WAY more lol (I love The Pitt)

Lol I really did not like DTF St. Louis and stopped watching halfway through

I don't speak dragon show language

WTF is "Margot's Got Money Troubles"? I've literally never heard of it

A fancy Upper East Side lady was big mad that Orwasher's only had round and not braided challah this week ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Shanah tovah!

I don't know what's wrong with me but all too often I hear "Talarico" and want to sing it to the tune/cadence of "Fergalicious"

Some personal news: drove by a fried chicken place in Connecticut called TWIN BEAKS, didn't get a pic, you'll just have to believe me

I cannot get invested in Odyssey Translation Drama I went and saw the movie and liked it, that's enough discourse for me on this matter

I am on a mini vacation in Vermont but it has rained all day today so I went to see COYOTE VS. ACME in this incredible 1938 art deco movie theater in Brattleboro

Bring back I don't know her dot gif

the other night I found a food truck in Astoria that only sold sweets from the Middle East (guy was from Palestine) -- many kinds of baklava, various pistachio things -- and they were pretty great

Roses are red Australia is far

Logged on late, had to type "cart" in the search bar

The only thing keeping me going this week are the good farmers market peaches

dude looks like Temu John Mulaney

The Republican nominee for senate in Kansas is named TY MASTERSON and I will only be able to think of SKY MASTERSON because I am that kind of homosexual

Ok

Tár (2022)

sometimes I think about how Pirro was one of the more credible people interviewed in THE JINX

So fam, are we eating lettuce again? Been craving a chicken caesar wrap from the bodega.

i audibly YELPED

this seems to be the new trend in men's summer apparel and as a sweaty person it's just never going to be for me.

I'm thinking this weekend it might be Gazpacho Time

it's...it's the (fake?) backup singers for me

I haven't seen The Odysssey yet because I really want to see it at the big Imax (which I acknowledge may not happen for months, if at all) and I do feel like I'm missing out on a lot of Discourse

I, too, wish to feast on pork and mutton actually I might skip the mutton

Brent Crude sounds like a 70s porn star

Hearing your friends on work calls when you're all working remotely from a summer beach house is a good reminder that you probably have no fuckin idea what your friends actually do for a living

I'm on the train that goes all the way to Montauk and people are packed in CHEEK BY JOWL

heading for a long weekend on Fire Island tonight and really not thrilled with these conditions not gonna lie

Smokey Air and Poopy Lettuce, a Memoir of Summer