miomancer

guard who only tells lies: i don’t miss him at all. i never liked the guard who always tells the truth therapist: what would he have said if i asked him what you’d

i always hated violence. but as a child, bullies forced me to become the very thing i feared: beaten up

it’s rude when people refer to nintendo’s handheld gaming console as the Game Boy. it’s old enough now, call it the Game Man

wow thats brutal

it’s insane that they make the monsters real in the scooby doo movies. the whole premise of the show was that they were guys in costumes. it’s like if they made a columbo movie where the killer has a death note

pokemon gen 7: actually, mega evolution hurts pokemon. use z-moves instead gen 8: z-moves make pokemon go to hell when they die, try dynamaxing gen 9: so it turns out dynamax was a fetish thing,

The invincible airplane

making a fanpepper called “Matador Lip Purser”

I really love the terraria painting titled My Son

everyone loves the mario tribal tattoo gba but no one remembers the sonic womb tattoo dreamcast

welcome to voice therapy. as always we will start with an episode of invader zim for reference

DOCTOR EGGPERSON: You think you’ve bested me Sonic, but haven’t you heard of NEO PRONOUNS!? (phase 2 starts)

judge: for crimes against the state, i punish you to me: sure would hate to be sent to the backrooms judge: a fine of $50,000 me: sending me to the backrooms would teach me a lesson judge: and four years in prison me: i’d be a real good noodle if i got sent to the backrooms

if the bible came out today they’d call jesus queerbaiting

I'm not kidding

they should make a Wii Fit Age but for how long your physical body has been alive

art is an implementation detail

patient: i feel like at this point in my life i’m never gonna get swallowed by a giant anthropomorphic frog woman intern therapist: have you considered that there might be better things you can do than that lead therapist, pulling them aside: look, we try not to outright lie to our clients here

me: i feel like i’ve been fighting an uphill battle lately my therapist: yeeeeeeeesh…. that’s like the worst kind you could fight

many know the Fight or Flight response, but there is secret third option, which is when you use Item

please don’t be mean to babies. they aren’t old enough to know that they deserve it

lichen are like gem fusions from steven universe

mother talking to the babysitter: so he has 16 Hit Points and needs to be fed Green Berries before bed to increase his Affinity, also he’s weak to Frost and Lightning damage so don’t leave any windows open

RIP Spiders Georg. you won’t be counted, but you will be missed

google show me tim allen grunts. google show me tim allen moans. google show me

if you put me in The Santa Clause i would not be able to overcome santa dysphoria in 97 minutes of runtime

city planner: please tell me you built this city on something normal like roads or solid ground Starship: youtube.com/watch?v=K1b8...

what if real life had extra lives but it's shmup style so you respawn naked and limbless

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mio drafts post: alt text deluxe edition

“i wish i would get shot in the head and die” a finger curls on the monkeys paw

“i would rather die than end up in a job that makes me use ai” a finger curls on the monkeys paw

my therapist: yes, a cuban missile crisis is real thing, but it is not something you can be having right now

this is what World Wide Web MIKO is like btw

the road to hell is paved with Hell Stones

sorry i don't know the difference between first and second cousins, i was never a part of the incest fandom

tsuneko got hacked… there is evil in this world and it targets the good…