common law wife guy

marxist-leninist-maoist-saxophonist

Doctor: your DNA test results are in. looks like you tested positive for DNA Me: Am I gonna die? Doctor: We're all gonna die

steely dan's lyrics are like if paul simon's lyrics were a little bit edgy

Whatever you do, don't smoke an entire brisket at a job interview, it's a lot of equipment to bring in, it takes a really long time to do it right and those conference rooms have notoriously poor ventilation

Scooby Doo has a cousin named Scooby Dum, suggesting that their family uses Japanese naming conventions. this would technically make Scooby Doo (the show) an anime.

my name Geoff

I wrote about Backrooms and Walter Benjamin (also Freud, liminality, memory, and capitalism) www.darkertimes.com/walter-benja...

the guy who played the moon in the mechanicals' production of Pyramus and Thisby in Midsummer Night's Dream is the ancestor of the baby who played the sun baby in Teletubbies

people in their 30s who watched Avatar: the Last Airbender as a kid often get upset when I tell them that I've outgrown it

happy airplane day everyone!

if I were single and regularly using dating apps, one line I would probably include is "I promise I will not be weird about your body or your gender identity"

Armand Pitman would be a good name for a deodorant model

love my common law wife

I finish pissing through the mail slot, ring the doorbell, and attempt to run away, but I am surprised by a loud noise from inside the house; accidentally letting go of the mail slot a moment too soon. it falls and slices cleanly through my penis

BEAVIS: What cruel irony it is, Butthead, that the most physically vulnerable body parts are also those which give the most pleasure when touched by another person. BUTTHEAD: Our bodies reward us for trusting, Beavis; as though co-operation is inherent in our very biology. BOTH: hehehe-heheh

On the 13th of September 1986, Dr. Bell was found dead, alone in his locked study. The night before, Dr. Lecter had given Bell a tin of an extremely rare tea during one of his famous dinner parties. Bell had taken it home. And Bell had died after drinking it. Columbo found that rather odd.

was just talking to someone while eating a plum. quoted "This is Just to Say" and swallowed the pit while doing so

Honestly, as far as I can tell, it's mostly more reporting. COVID got everybody's attention. "Oh disease outbreaks are a thing. And they screw up all your plans." Then we had Cyclospora- which to be clear is a HUGE & messy outbreak. And now newsrooms know outbreak reporting gets clicks.

a lot of left-leaning people want to believe that the media they enjoy is radical/subversive/anti-fascist, and this leads to flawed analysis of the media. it also leads to treating people with opposing opinions about the work as though they simply don't understand how progressive/subversive it is

getting into the combat exoskeleton I've been building in secret for years and it immediately tips over and crushes me underneath it and pins me to the ground and i die a slow painful death

The ag lobby really, really, really, really, really, really, really wants you to think AI is the reason reservoirs are going empty. It's not. It's agriculture.

UBE GOUDA HO HO HO

never forget that norway, sweden, and denmark are monarchies

It’s crazy that after thousands of years of human civilisation we still don’t know what causes solar eclipses

I love shots like this. they're the most exciting things in movies to me youtu.be/6mtluyHcOnk?...

I hope the goatse guy is having a nice day

Armand Pitman would be a good name for a deodorant model

gonna start referring to Denmark, Sweden, and Norway as "the nordic monarchies"

in like 2019 I matched on tinder with someone whose bio was "I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain" so I asked how she felt about making love at midnight and she unmatched me

when I was like 17 my high school had an assembly where a cop did a presentation about sexting. at one point he said "phude notos" by mistake. I started clapping and within seconds the whole auditorium was applauding

not many people know this but the name of the show "Black Mirror" is actually referring to the screens on our cellular telephones

thinking about him

Louis Legrand - The Apache's Supper - circa 1901

Square Penix

Farmer & farm worker tips on working outside in hot humid weather: First, the normal stuff. Stay hydrated. Take breaks in the shade. These are the basics! They'll get you pretty far & you won't make it without them! They are also not enough to get through a day on the farm IME!

why do condoms come in packs of 12 but hot dog buns come in packs of 8?

the core problem with the analogy is the assumption that fascism is an asymptote; an undefinable point in the future that the US will never reach because it still has some "democratic institution" remaining. but the US is already fascist. it's the largest, most successful fascist project in history

I feel a great satisfaction whenever I can get someone who entered my mentions to block me

David Graeber sure does like playing language games instead of actually saying anything useful

James Brown probably wrote "I Feel Good" after taking a nap

[to the tune of "Mr. Sandman"] Hammurabi 🎶Write me a law🎶 Make it like nothing that I've seen before🎵 🎵Throw me in the river if I am accused Then if I sink it is my house I'll lose🎶

still reeling at the knowledge that the UK doesn't have a constitution

thread on generative AI