Peter Graystone

I’ve just done a double-take because I thought the bridegroom had three arms.

I’m going to hazard a guess that Jan Lievens is the greatest artist you’ve never heard of. Dutch. 17th century. Painted a lot of old men, but this one is AMAZING. It’s in a private collection, so goodness knows how we’re ever going to see it. But in the mean time, just gaze into this man’s soul.

www.churchtimes.co.uk/articles/202... I thought Murder in the Cathedral, with David Suchet as Thomas Becket, was sumptuous. More like a sacred ritual than a play. Here is my Church Times review.

In A&E this morning with a suspected broken neck. Fortunately it turns out not to be the case. Explaining to the registrar how I did it is one of my most embarrassing experiences ever. I was trying to impress my godchildren by doing a head-over-heels. His last words were: Try to remember you’re 68.

Make a war film rubbish. Full Metal Jacket Potato

This 👇

The new production of Hay Fever is fine. It’s amusing but not revelatory. But all the time Richard E Grant was on I was thinking about The Traitors. Richard ‘E Can’t.

It’s taken me 50 years to realise this, and I only worked it out today. An optician’s eye test doesn’t use all the letters; only about 10. Am I the only one who has never noticed?

"An ambulance was seen arriving at the prison where Pike was to be executed and then leaving. Medical aid was being administered, according to online federal court records." The utter absurdity of the state trying twice to kill someone and then calling an ambulance. We must end the death penalty.

“The water in Majorca...” HEINEKEN (1985) Sylvestra Le Touzel nailing it an iconic ad from back in the day when Commercials had some wit & guile about then and therefore cultural impact

The Jolly Fisherman is a total delight. A lovely friendship between two teenagers crashes down the gulf between the pub and the mosque. And then … well, I don’t want to spoil it. It was sold out before I got to Edinburgh, so I’m very glad I caught it in London. I’m feeling all the feels.

Tilda Swinton is truly astounding in Man to Man. Widowed in Germany in the 1930s she takes on her husband’s identity to survive war, poverty and political threat. Intensely physical and perfectly paced. It ends chillingly in the present day with the reemergence of the far right. Superb.

Catarina and the Beauty of Killing Fascists is the controversial Portuguese play about the limits of what must be done to oppose tyranny. There were no heckles, no walkouts, nothing thrown, no storming the stage. The audience listened politely with giggles. It was a bit of a slog to be honest.

Maria Friedman contributes a superb performance (and dodgy ice-skating) to Kimberly Akimbo. It’s a really lovely, bittersweet musical about growing old before your time. I found it amusing, rather than hilarious as it’s billed. But it’s hopeful and original, and the music is great.

I’ve invented a new word. Technovation. It’s the ecstatic round of applause you give yourself when your computer goes wrong and, against all the odds, you manage to fix it by yourself. And yes, I am experiencing it right now.

The controversy about St Paul’s Cathedral hosting nightclub events is getting worse and worse. The Church Times is now publishing negative quotes from dead people.

Oh this is wonderful! Bravo!

Bigfoot Ripped My Dog in Half I Saw It at @sohotheatre.bsky.social is classic Xhloe and Natasha. Ingenious, exhaustingly physical, breakneck storytelling, and a delight to listen to. It’s about how a conspiracy theory can grow from a prank to a panic to a terror. So, so entertaining. And timely.

A Month in the Country is absolutely the loveliest. The Donmar design has created a huge Russian estate in a tiny space. And huge emotions too with impeccable performances. It is bittersweet, funny and full of yearning. I loved this very much.

Without saying your age, what is your favourite movie that came out when you were 20 years old?

The funeral of Winston Churchill.

Meh Christianity.

OK. Let’s do novels now. Make a novel smaller. Huckleberry Swede.

#edfringe Elf Lyons is going to win the Comedy Award. I have no insider information. She just is, and that’s that. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ And with that, thank you Edinburgh and goodbye for another year. It’s been a blast.

#edfringe The best play of the festival is surely The Distance by Ben Norris. Insanely physical, performed on a treadmill and over a climbing frame. About a young guy whose heart is set on being a champion runner. I’m not going to say what happens but I’m feeling all the feels. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe Glob is an old-school, lovely family circus show. Two clowns dressed as snowmen in a wordless hour of acrobatics, tap dance, comedy and charm. Gentle and restorative. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe Down To Chance is a genuine delight. A true story of small-scale heroism in the 1964 Anchorage earthquake, when one woman kept the local radio on air all night giving information. Dozens of characters played by two actors with multiple hats. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe The Singer absolutely deserves all the praise that has been lavished on it. It isn’t just signed: BSL plays a crucial role in it and deafness honoured. The KT Tunstall songs are rich, the characters are utterly believable, and the laughs keep coming. It’s all so uplifting. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe Do Not Be Afraid is funny from the get-go and totally joyful. Mary is 13 years old and it’s 2026. Camilla Borges, who yearns for the happiness and community of when she played Mary in the school nativity, recreates it from the audience’s collective memory. Gloriously silly. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe One Hundred Voices is the most urgent, fascinating, creative show of the Fringe. It’s the real experience and words of children in care. Wearing headphones you walk and interact through superbly designed rooms - a dislocating, sometimes upsetting, sometimes hopeful experience. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe Half way through Blackbox I was tremendously moved. The true story of a slave who escaped by posting himself in a box. He started a new life as a conjuror, so it is accompanied by tricks. Immensely sad, backed by spirituals. Audibility problems but still a great show. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe It’s hard to describe the impact of The Wreck. It’s a technical marvel, with live action, puppets, video, sampled sound, music, all brought together on a huge screen. Plus it’s a compelling story about how diving changes your perspective. Really dazzling and delightful. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe Transmission: Into The Night is the kind of ‘only in Edinburgh’ show that I love. You walk the dark streets alone with headphones guiding your steps and your thoughts. No story, but one that your head writes about what you observe. Mind-expanding. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe In Wild Wild Christian, Simone McAlonen reads from her teenage diary about her obsession with being pure, and describes the journey she’s been on since. Witty, touching and full of insider information about why American Evangelicals seem to be on the side of evil. Glad I saw this. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe Don Quixote (Is a Very Big Book) is delightful. An apparently self-deluding actor plays the self-deluding knight, along with puppets, self-deprecation and audience participation. I got poked in the eye by Rosinante, for which I’m not going to sue, but I am deducting a star. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe Superlative storytelling in For Dolores. Two young women locked together by a murder and a baby. The tension was huge, but relieved with laughter, changes of pace, and flashbacks. Great acting. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe Ohh this show was interesting. Brit Barron was a pastor in a megachurch until she realised she was lesbian. Now happily married. ‘Am I still a Christian? Yes, like America is still a democracy.’ Her show has hymns, a sermon, notices - like church, but 100mph and hilarious. I loved it. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe There as a hilarious exhibition in Edinburgh of the world’s worst album covers. But seriously, don’t you think the quiet revival would crescendo if we all embraced BIG HAIR.

#edfringe #eif Goodness knows why the International Festival brought Haribo Kimchi half way round the world. A man cooks Korean food while telling inconsequential travel tales about a snail, a sweetie and a worm, with accompanying video. Technically accompany; narratively dull. ⭐️⭐️

#edfringe Dracula: Lucy’s Dream is one of those huge, international, near-wordless shows that I usually love. And I’ve seen this company’s work before. Life-size puppets, video, seamless movement. But this was very slow-moving and the tone didn’t vary. Nice bats though. ⭐️⭐️

#edfringe Mrs Stern Wanders the Prussian State Library turns out to be about Hannah Arendt (The Banality of Evil). She was imprisoned by the Gestapo before escaping to America. The encounter with the police as political involvement becomes a crime. Interesting when you know what lay ahead ⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe How to get a full audience. Choose a title which is part of people’s life. The audience for Book Club was 49 identical elderly ladies and me. But the play is a pleasant surprise. Satire lands. Characters are believable. Issues matter. As a first play it has promise. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe I knew I was going to love Around The World in Eighty Toys, and I did. Tiny Victorian toys live-filmed on a big screen tell the Jules Verne story in the style of George Melies. Clockwork, sleight of hand, shadows, conjuring, flip books. Old-school delightful. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe I had to come down to earth eventually. In Eve and Adam, a woman goes back to Eden in a time machine and makes Adam eat the apple instead of Eve. Consequently a different world. It was energetic and an original idea. But the characters are one-dimensional and the jokes struggled. ⭐️⭐️

#edfringe Oh my goodness! Man Sings The Same Song Over and Over Again For an Hour. How on earth do I explain this? Exactly what the title says happens. But it is desperately funny. I won’t say what the song is. The audience groaned. But at the end we were dancing and begging for more. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe John Kearns was predictably hilarious. He’s had a relationship break-up and he’s facing it by listening to Alec Guinness read TS Elliot’s The Wasteland. It would actually be tragic if it weren’t for the perfectly timed jokes. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe I’ve never seen such a West-End-ready show at the Fringe as Bliss. Catchy & varied tunes, witty lyrics, great choreography. For children it’s got princesses, unicorns and acres of pink. For adults it’s got cynicism, feminism and nostalgia. To say I loved it would be an understatement ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#edfringe I got myself totally wrapped up in the lives of the two young people in Water Colour. Their individual stories are on different trajectories, but a ten minute meeting on a bridge over the Clyde changes their destinies. Beautifully acted, hopeful stuff. I liked this a lot. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️