The Sovereign Planet of the Moon

PRIVATE BROWSERS ONLY.

SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT, COWARD.

A CLASSIC TALE OF FORBIDDEN LOVE.

REMEMBER, EARTHLINGS: LOOK, BUT DO NOT TOUCH.

TWO CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME.

PLANET EARTH, YOUR GREATEST HUMAN HAS DIED. YOU HAVE A SHORT WINDOW TO CANONIZE HER AS A SAINT FOR ALL TIME. DO NOT FUCK IT UP.

YOU MUST FIRST OBTAIN THE APPROPRIATE PERMITS.

THIS BITCH IS DARIA.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

GODSPEED, YOUNG LADY. FUCK THE PATRIARCHY. CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES.

YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE IT BUT THIS IS WHAT PEAK TOIL, TOIL LOOKS LIKE.

RACCOONS ARE THE THIRD SEXIEST MAMMAL. THIS IS BASED ON VIBES ALONE.

PLANET EARTH, RACKING UP THE MILESTONES. DOING GREAT.

JUST BECAUSE IT IS MOTHER’S DAY DOES NOT MEAN SHITTY MOTHERS ARE NOT SHITTY MOTHERS.

GOOD LUCK.

CORRECT.

YOU ACTUALLY CAN DROP A MIC IN SPACE BUT IT’S A DC 20 SLEIGHT OF HAND CHECK.

WE ARE NOT *MADE* OF CHEESE. WE *MAKE* CHEESE. IT IS A HOBBY.

WHY IS IT “THE INTERNET” BUT NOT “THE AI” HUH LINKEDIN BIGSHOTS?

HOW ABOUT SOME OF THAT SPICE THAT MAKES INTERSTELLAR TRAVEL POSSIBLE SO YOU DIPSHITS CAN FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF TO ANOTHER SYSTEM.

THE NUMBER IS FOUR.

THIS IS LIKE A BUNCH OF FLEAS ARGUING ABOUT HOW TO SPELL “DOG.”

GREAT, PLANET EARTH IS SENDING US A TIN CAN OF SHIT. DELIGHTFUL.

THIS IS THE CORRECT ATTITUDE.

AH, BLUESKY AFTER THE OSCARS, WHAT A DELIGHT.

WELL WELL WELL, IF IT ISN’T A MAN TAKING CREDIT FOR THE DAY NAMED AFTER FRIGG, THE NORSE GODDESS OF MOTHERHOOD.

A FUN GAME YOU CAN PLAY IS READING KEN JENNINGS’ POSTS IN THE KEN JENNING VOICE BUT WITH A DRACULA ACCENT.

HIS MOTHER MADE THE HAT BUT NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THE HAT

YOU GOTTA SQUEEZE HARD TO THE LEFT.

IF THE AMERICAN POPE DOES NOT CANONIZE DOLLY PARTON, WHY IS THERE EVEN AN AMERICAN POPE

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK.

THEY BETTER BE NINJA CATS, BECAUSE FIRST THEY WILL HAVE TO GET PAST THE RACCOONS.

“OKAY COMMISSIONER GORDON, FIRST TURN ON THE BAT SIGNAL, AND IF I’M NOT THERE IN LIKE TWENTY MINUTES, USE THE PHONE TO CALL ME.”

THIS IS AN AWFUL LOT OF HUBRIS COMING FROM A BACTERIA RIDDEN SHITHOLE RUN BY ELON MUSK.

TAKE HEED, PLANET EARTH.

BUT WHO MAKES THE LAWS, SEAN?

CORRECT.

CORRECT.

CORRECT.

WOULD ANYBODY LIKE TO SAY ANYTHING NICE ABOUT SCRAPPY DOO?

THE FORCE MAY BE WITH YOU, BUT ARE YOU ONE WITH THE FORCE?

I guess it's fitting that it's a reimagined, worse version of someone else's artwork

WE DO NOT CAUSE STRANGE SHADOWS. STRANGE PEOPLE CAUSE STRANGE SHADOWS.

Well shone, Moon. Truly, the moon shines with a good grace.