Productive Outs

Done with the other place. This is your home for bad baseball takes and fake names for now.

This is outstanding.

And the Angels are gonna give it to him, and then he’ll average an 85 OPS+ for the duration of the contract.

Love and hate that The Miz looks like someone who should be eating boogers.

Accidental tweet-that-explains-the-one-next-to-it

SOURCE: The Los Angeles Angels are “deeply intrigued” by the thought of Radby Ampersands becoming their new POBO.

Rumors of our expansion into the world of basketball are patently untrue.

Carter Hadnot committed, but now he has, or did, to the surprise of many who thought he would not, but should.

The Dodgers are ruining baseball.

Telling Travis Bazzana “good eye” and he just says hello back

Chipotle would like to sell you a big bag of ass, apparently.

The most humbling job in sports is "guy who makes 33 regular-season starts only to find out his team would rather do 10 bullpen games than let him pitch in the postseason"

It was almost 20 years ago that I wrote a op-ed to the local paper that changed the world. I hate that it's necessary to share it again.

Did not expect the Dodgers to completely lay an egg in the postseason. Cannot possibly hate the Brewers. What an odd sensation. Enjoy your Brewers vs Rays/Guardians World Series, MLB. Really helps your case in the upcoming labor war.

Excited to find out what sort of knee/shoulder surgery Shohei needs like … tomorrow.

Harold Reynolds gets paid to opine about baseball things on TV. Everyone in the studio looks at him while he’s talking and is like, “What the fuck are you talking about, man?!” Never change, MLB Network.

ain’t nobody safe

They need to sit him.

Ian, who doesn’t post here, has posed an interesting question ahead of tonight’s ALDS game. Please choose wisely. given the choice would you a. win or 2. take all

New Erick Fedde doppelgänger just dropped. B-b-b-b-b-basketball!

We need even fewer pixels.

Well, yes. Soundly perhaps.

This is what happens when you train your bots on Productive Outs.

We are deeply saddened to report we had nothing to do with this. We’d ask that you kindly respect our privacy at this difficult time.

This has been stuck in my head for… 5 months

NOPE. Auto DQ, bud. There is no The MLB you fucking dolt. Go find another grift.

SOURCE: The Peoria Javelinas have added Seattle Mariners infielder Gremlin McPlume to their roster.

Wonderful that certain pockets of baseball pull crusty-ass Joe Maddon out his wine cave to rant and rave about how shitty today’s game is every other month or so. Good stuff. Remind me why he doesn’t have a job again?

This is just Resting Gamer Face.

Ad for Starbucks Protein Foam states, “Protein has never tasted so good.” MOTHERFUCKER HAVE YOU EVER EATEN FOOD BEFORE

On the contrary, many are saying it was headed directly for the sun. The collision would have dropped global temperatures 1° C and aided in the battle again global warming.

[Kyle Teel gets thrown out by 15 feet, but ends up being safe because Austin Hedges had a hole in his glove or something] Ron Darling: “That’s a great send.”

Don’t you dare look at us.

We are deeply saddened to report we had nothing to do with this.

The Chop sucks shit and anyone who does it should be thrown down a flight of stairs. We also have to realize that there has never been a better climate for these idiots to do The Chop without feeling shame.

Co-signed.

Don’t forget the lockers of: Cualhugio Scoggins, Hitch Wetsports, Wheat Speedlegion, Alabaster Sauce, Geoffrey Swath, Roku Prawnloft, and Jazz Manbooth

SOURCE: The Tampa Bay Rays are strongly considering adding 21-year-old outfield prospect Glade Whisp to their ALDS roster.

Watching Red Sox fans melt down and Yankees fans act like they’ve punched their ticket to a World Series win.

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