suss2frightens 🥌

someone broke into the recently opened Dallas-Fort Worth Curling Club, stole a bunch of tools, and ate all their food

“Facing the minimum” should be a greater pitching achievement than a no-hitter and the brewers are about to do it

Yung Gravy AND Tom Cruise are here?

feels like the rays are going backwards, but I’ve always been told that’s impossible

The brewers do the little things to win (having two home stadiums)

Cackling

History made. That’s the first time anyone was ever safe on a force play at second

That’s where the k-cup goes

I’d hate to see a normal-sized caminero

announcing a multi-year partnership with my favorite prediction market, Linear Time

Back from a two-year hiatus. Biberty sent me. www.nytimes.com/athletic/772...

for those of you unfamiliar, the most powerful social unit in Cincinnati is your high school class, which outranks friends, family, even lovers

Invested $10 in “this will end badly for society” and it immediately paid out $10.0001

Everyone knows the only virtuous AI machine was built in the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Nathan Fielder: Do you understand why the joke was funny Elizabeth Holmes: Steamed hams is a funny thing to call a hamburger

still feel like Ashby’s stuff gets sledgehammered in the Trop because that’s what overuse does, but man what a stretch he’s having

if you're wondering why this feels like an AL Central game, go look up where the Brewers were before 1998 when the Rays showed up

this "small ball" romance is all the fault of the 2012 detroit tigers, who played nothing big ball. all they did all season was play with large, heaving balls. and then it didn't work for four games, so we're back to liking small ball

not everyone is allowed to grow a rod beck-style mustache in the playoffs, but dustin may

umpire checking JoJo Romero's hands between innings to make sure he isn't wielding a scimitar

garrett

I didn't know they made a sequel but an inning in, we're already on logan's run 4

it's my first day at the Fox Sports graphic department, I'm working the World Series coverage. I create an AI slop image of Yandy Diaz as a giant slug to make note of his postseason slugging percentage against LHP

I have a very strong feeling toward why a team cannot win a ring on the back of one middle reliever having an S-tier run and the reason is 2016 Game 7 Andrew Miller

Social media loves talking about how everything is getting worse. But what’s something that you’ve seen stay exactly the same in your lifetime? I say rubber bands. They were fine back then and they’re fine now.

Smithers, who is this fleet footed man?

there goes the neighborhood

simpson, eh?

squares to bunt? yeah I guess it's kinda dorky

I hope build-a-bear lets you add a pitchcom

this is a beautiful game

Albert Pujols: "now that I'm over 45," finally, a retro commercial

If I were the Rays, I'd sign Chandler Simpson to a seven- or eight-year extension. Nothing longer than that, though, because Simpsons aren't nearly as good after their eighth season.

and with that successful ABS challenge, Taco Bell is giving every American a free taco through their Challenge A Pitch, Challenge A Taco campaign

Rays are walking off the field. They’re giving up, it’s over.

jonathan aranda jonatha aranda jonath aranda jonat aranda jona aranda jon aranda joe randa

Time to enjoy America’s pastime: pitching changes, and the critique of them

Tonight will be the first time bud selig will be associated with letting a World Series begin

just realized that jimmy buffett is weird al for floridians

Well, that’s the way the c—

happy opening day everyone

the Tampa Bay Rays have released their postseason roster, in a surprising cost-cutting move

here I thought the foulest thing Vivek Ramaswamy could produce was a 33 MPH bat speed

Chandler Simpson has one career professional home run, hit exactly the way you think

just incredible work. reading this is like getting struck out by Misiorowski and just chuckling on the walk back to the dugout

The studios put a lot of money into the reboot of the Alonzo Mourning meme, hope it’s good