stu of the living dead

Philip K Dick movies all have names like CORTICAL IMPASSE and are based on short stories called like "Let's See What's Going On Down at the Brain Factory"

If none of your friends jumped off a cliff would you not do it too

The reviews are in about Blackberry Dr Pepper

Every year during Halloween I'm reminded how much bigger human skeletons are in real life

My brain has a mind of its own

I just found out that a podcaster is bad

When I was a kid I was pretty sure there was a shot in Galaxy Quest where you could see Tim Allen's balls

I've invented the thrinity which is a combination of "three" and "trinity"

I wonder about every thing in the world sometimes

Soda's Delight

One time when I was six, I saw what looked like a disembodied human penis in my backyard. I think now it was probably a mushroom but my first thought was that maybe it was my recently deceased grandfather's penis

It is my opinion that Halloween's the special day when ghosts and ghouls come out to play

KFC Bucket of Shit

vales and dales are the same old shit

[one of those zombie movies where they never say the word zombies] I just saw one of those fuckin zongos

John lennon used to get mad when people would tell him "In My Life" made them reminisce about their own lives. "It's about my life" he'd say

I've been to the bathroom at least 100 times in my life

John Cusack in Tapeheads is probably one of the better looking guys that's ever been around

There was an issue fetching posts: the posts are just too fetching

I'm getting any younger

I dislike most memes, but most of all the wojaks. Horrible little turd monsters, I want to smash them

Going back in time a million years to kill Caveman Hitler

The great joys in life suck ass

The Mummy's Blessing

Hey there everyone

What's the most inspirational crap that ever happened

Super trampoline Breakfast in America album $8

Everyone: children simply aren't "of the corn" Stephen king: hold my beer

You can tell that he was standing in front of a green screen

Walking around San Francisco for a week has finally made me into an "Ough, my knee" guy

Enjoying a majestic view of the Golden Gate Bridge

I saw the phantom man

and there's jon, first-year coach of the saints. he's lobbying the refs, let's see if we can lip-read what he's saying ... it ... it looks like "they practiced that." it seems he's accusing his opponent of practicing their plays beforehand. team practice is allowed by rule, but oh boy. he is furious

Two and a Half Penises

Tonight I saw one of those driverless cars. No passengers either. It was parked on the side of the road with nobody in it at all

DOUBLE PLAY!! There’s been a double play in the mlb.

(guy who got in big trouble for putting foil in the microwave buying a fridge) does this one have any weird rules

Can I get a piece of soda

imagine a beautiful woman named Jasmine Pringle

This is the reason that October 1st is also considered scary

I've got me just where I want me...

From my series 100 Years Ago Today: Real People Tell Their Real Stories. #1: Doorman

Hey guys, hot shot actor here. I have a pretty sweet life acting in big movies and having a ton of money and being celebrated everywhere I go for as long as I live. Guess what though, I also want to be a musician :)

My funko pop collection is coming along quite shittily. zero funko pops to my name so far

The members of Fleetwood Mac should've released all that tension in their band by having sex with each other