Josh Michtom

DCF *and* the state mental hospital for children that it managed until this year are not doing well.

Find you someone who looks at you the way I look at a plate of oxtail with rice and peas.

Every few weeks some cynical edgelord who wants to feel More Sophisticated And Leftist than I am will tell me that I've seen the last free & fair election in this country, and my sweet summer child. We have not even seen the first yet.

Isn't this kind of the essence of elections?

I feel like once you're in a place called "The Jug," your risk of staring straight down a .44 has increased considerably, and if you then go on to cut the rug with a woman named Linda Lou, well, you're kinda asking for it.

CTRail, re-record the automated station announcements so they put the emphasis on the first syllable of "Berlin." When?

You know how when you go to a concert, you can wear a band shirt, but not the shirt of the band that's playing? That's apparently also true for trains.

On the train to New Haven there was a 50-something man in a tracksuit, fitted cap, and mirrored sunglasses. He got off at West Haven, picked up a mostly full Starbucks iced coffee that had been left on a bench, and began drinking it without hesitation. We live in a world of unfathomable mystery.

NOT ALL CARS WILL PLATFORM?! AT NEW HAVEN?!! We used to be a proper country.

The most barbershop conversation ever was my barber talking to the numbers runner and her saying (in Spanish), "Have you seen all these heart attacks that the young people in DR are having?" and him being like, "I know. It's crazy. And you know what the cause is?" and them both saying, "RED BULL."

Fifth-saddest short story ever: for sale: child's beekeeping jacket, used once.

Knot Reddit may be my favorite niche shit ever:

What if "Charlie and the MTA," but a corrido?

More adventures in learning to sew: killa bee messenger bag edition

A Marty Robbins classic; just keep in mind that the narrator is the villain.

The two genders

a norwegian on Threads posted this and i just don’t know how much more clearly we can emphasize how much Americans are being ripped off by our system which is built to concentrate wealth at the top

People underestimate the ability of wild horses to drag them away. It's pretty much exactly what they're built for.

Every carnival ride is basically just a principle of physics, but they've dressed it up with some improbable theme, like "Zeus" (swinging and spinning) or "Rock and Roll" (centrifugal force). Except the pirate ship. That shit is real and true to life.

I may have gotten slightly obsessed with finishing the project of turning found couch cushions into a bag and stayed up way too late last night:

I have had a difficult day. Might order a fitted hat online to make me feel better. Sorry, Marx.

The worst thing is to be in a trial and opposing counsel is doing the longest, blandest, least objectionable direct examination. Like

Look: if your retail establishment has Ding Dongs but no Ho Hos, YOU'RE FUCKING UP.

Folsom Prison Corrido

Tooth actor verification

A remake of "The Karate Kid" but it's two sisters from a family in turmoil who learn karate together from an eccentric teacher, and it's set in 19th-century England: "Sensei Sensibility."

If you were wondering which part of my wits I'm at, it's the end.

For the lunchtime crowd.

The Reese's Oreos slap. Also, coffee ice cream sandwiches, which may have been around forever but only just came to my attention, slap.

More adventures in learning to sew: embroidered wallpaper:

[whispers] They're not cash-strapped except in the sense that they've spent the last fifty years being permitted to buy shit they don't need.