Sarah Badding

a lot of people act like there's a trade being offered where we give up trans athletes in sports and in exchange fascism is defeated forever

I clocked my high school crush as an ideal husband and father, spent two years scheming to get him to ask me out, stayed together (looong distance) for 4 years of college…we’ve been together for fifteen years and I was super correct and literally no one else should do this.

I don’t mean to diminish these people at all!! Some of my very best friends are eaters of the weird, gross, “why is it sour though?”, cucumber offal.

Me to my husband as his eyes glaze over watching me do my skincare: I don’t think you understand how important my youthful hotness could be when I have to score a replacement for you when you inevitably leave me for how annoying and expensive you find my skincare.

Parenting with my husband has made it abundantly clear that kids need a parent of each gender (functional at 6 AM and functional at 6 PM).

Ok I KNOW that the darnedest things other people’s kids say are boring internet chaff but my three year old just said in complete earnestness “I have never been to real life. Is real life a country?”

Yeah sorry but “concepting a new restaurant” sounds like the most fun thing ever? Like what joyless ghoul would want beep boop machine to do that for them? If there was a job that was just “make up restaurants”, I would want that job.

Imagine a year without five consecutive hours of sleep and it’s the same year everyone starts talking about sleepmaxxing

It simply can’t be legal for an eleven month old to still be feeding every two hours over night someone come put my baby in baby jail can you factory reset a baby I don’t know I just want to sleep so bad ok send tweet

Feeling more and more these days that I am not online enough to meaningfully connect with online people and too online to engage substantively with earth people. Result is just me asking my husband “do you know what/who [this] is?” twelve times a week.

My mom famously got a math degree because her sixth grade math teacher told her girls didn’t really need to know math.

My next venture will be a video series where I just make foods my toddler has verbally invented. Looking at a Spanish tortilla with sour cream: “You made me a pumpkin pie cake with raspberry frosted mini wheats frosting and yogurt with sour cream frosting!”

Tell your friends not to seek out this knowledge. The heaping praise from the “I thought I hated Turkey” crowd is all some of us have to carry us through to new years.

Told my mom there was chia pudding in the fridge for the baby and she accidentally fed him leftover horseradish sauce

So my spouse (derogatory) just told me that the change in the ratio of photos to recipes in cookbooks mimics that of cabin to bed size in pickup trucks.

My 🏈 season hot take is that buffalo cauliflower dip is basically just as good as buffalo chicken. The buffalo chicken food theme is built around crispy chicken IMO and if you’re just going to pulverize it with cheese and scoop it onto chips there is no reason to exclude the vegetarians. #GoDawgs

AI is like that time I woke up and found a U2 album I didn't ask for on my iPod. I don't want it. I didn't ask for it. Leave me alone.

I have long been of the opinion that SVU truly poisoned the American mind in so many intersecting ways.

/3 But a huge plurality, at least, of the modern GOP is of the opinion that noticing bigoted trash is more un-American and destructive than BEING bigoted trash: that dehumanizing fellow Americans based on immutable characteristics is morally superior to criticizing anyone for doing that.

This owl looks like it was designed explicitly as a scale model for a human sports mascot.

lol I had my first pregnancy in California and my husband was borderline militant about me eating foods with a prop 65 warning on them. Second kid gestated in Georgia, my apologies to him.

I don’t know why but I hate the word zesty and it does not make me want to eat a food. The word zest can carry on.

Tried to get my husband a milkshake on my way home last night. Burger place wouldn’t take my online order because it was under $8. I called and an AI picked up the phone. I asked to order a milkshake. It told me pickup orders could only made online and texted me the link. I hate it here.

Dear techbros frantically nutting at each other over your own god-like brilliance for making the Five-Boobed-Lady-Picture-Machine: I would at this point settle for you applying your alleged technical genius to making a printer that works

I lived it. An old guy at the gym called me ma’am instead of miss.