bex schwartz

Dear Unicode Consortium: could you please add a "COPY THAT!" emoji, it would make everything so much clearer

Allergy season is bananapants this year. I just sneezed three times and each one was a cartoonish (and perfect) Aah-choo. Hire me to foley your cartoons.

I hugged Wilson Cruz AND ALSO Bernie Wagenstaff! What a Sunday. Thank you so much to the Luscious brunch! cbo.io/app/public/b...

Holy shit, who got my phone number and why I am getting hundreds of texts from politicians in states I can’t vote for MAKE IT STOPPPPPPPPP

I guess we can agree that Kelly Clarkson (sunglasses slip down meaningfully) didn’t take Molly (🎵yyyeeeeeeaaaaaah)

I just woke up from a dream where someone incepted that there are two opposite poles on the Autumn spectrum. On one side: pumpkin spice. On the other: The Woodsman from Twin Peaks.

SKY IS UPPEST OVER MOUNTAIN. (This is the takeaway from this dreadful hero spot of dreck: youtu.be/k4EGNG4Nbts?...)

New dating profile: I really liked Rick Devens on his first season of Survivor and real talk: we were twitter mutuals way back when that app was fun. I wholeheartedly declare: being a good human who listens and also makes jokes and acts goofy is a great BB archetype #bb28 #rhap

(I saw this thumbnail on youtube, and for my BB bloomfs -- is this not Jankie??? #bigbrother)

We can hear a local high school pep rally from my dad’s condo in NJ and they are currently blasting Cotton Eyed Joe

I asked the coffee shop in this hotel what sort of non-cow milk and they said "oat, almond, and fronks" 1) because surely everyone knows what fronks is 2) "fronks" is an incredibly unappetizing name for a non-cow milk product 3) everything about their logo makes me laugh freshfronks.com

My favorite thing about being in a hotel room where none of the lights have clear on/off switches is just giving up and unplugging them

Thank you to everyone on the Q train leaving Barclays last night for the Robyn singalong!

HOORAY, AT LONG LAST IT IS ROBYN DAY IN NYC

@chappellskickback.bsky.social FAB (fuck ass bob) is the new FAP

I cleaned my windows yesterday just in time for the construction workers outside on the street shed to be at exact eye level as I’m on zooms all day.

Operation License Zingbot and unleash her on all paramount content (just think about it) #bb28

Hear me out: double-caffeine diet coke, can we make this happen?

It’s so affirming as an Old to fully grok what the youngsters mean by Big Mad

@robhasapodcast.bsky.social call me about the VH1 style special, it’s on! #rhap

Important question for @taranarmstrong.bsky.social and @robcesternino.bsky.social — are there official #RHAP lyrics to the Big Brother feed music? #bb28

Hashtag pillowscream #bb28 @robhasapodcast.bsky.social

Moving this from the groupchat to the skyline: sometimes when I am very sad I watch this video of @pftompkins.bsky.social and jessica McKenna singing the cranberries and then I feel better: youtu.be/860Zl5kzWh0?...

In honor of Dolly, I need to watch Stumblin' and it is weirdly hard to find! www.reddit.com/r/LiveFromNe...

This is excellent for watching while you’re cooking a not-very-work-intensive dinner. Also the guitarist’s elatedness is a real spirit-raiser

Sometimes I think about rebranding my LLC to “Never Not Tired”

Tonight on #RHAP, @taranarmstrong.bsky.social said “going back to Kamu” in the exact same cadence as LL Cool J’s “going back to Cali” #bb28

I am so deep down the ##bb28 rabbit hole that I watch/listen to @taranarmstrong.bsky.social (& friends)’s recaps every day and now seeing the actual footage of what I’ve only seen Taran act out is the most joy I’ve felt in months

Saw the Hold Steady tonight and they swapped the lyrics to Constructive Summer to say “Double Whiskey Coke, FUCK ICE” and I’ve never felt more millennial Dad Alive. (Cc @dennycarter.bsky.social @drewmagary.bsky.social )

I just submitted "Answer in the Form of a Question" to a whole slew of Film Festivals and I truly have no idea what I'm doing, but THANK YOU to FilmFreeway.com!

One time I was at San Diego comic con and my friends took me to a party featuring DJ Hodor, and the DJ was actually Hodor.

The newly-revealed Spaceballs Cinematic Universe is giving me such hope

1:30! Watch the Netflix Couch Cup livestream! I’m in a tiny control room with so many crew members!

the new season of “big brother” premiered last night and tonight’s episode of “big brother unlocked” promised “never before seen” footage. Time is a weird soup. #bbsky

Is Paul Pelosi Leonard Cohen?

My brother’s birthday was the 5th of July so when he was a kid we always told him the fireworks were for him. This DC fireworkstravaganza would have been so thrilling for him!

Which silly voice did he do and was it Opera Man?

I am EXTREMELY HERE for the Billy Braggification of Bryan Adams

HUZZAH! BRAD LANDER!

I once worked for the company that produced touring children’s shows and when Blue’s Clues Live played at Radio City, they threw a Blue’s Clues Booze Cruise for the cast and crew(s)

Longterm algae fans and bandwagon algae fans can get along!

At the Jellicle Ball, they change the pronouns in the lyrics to reflect each performer’s gender identity (Skimbleshanks and Macavity are she/her, Bustofer Jones is they/them) but Magical Mister Mistoffelees is still “Mister” because that’s just her given name

I was told that if there were ever this much joy the Statue of Liberty would walk