Stwooooooooooart Laidler

As is the case with most of Gen X, I’m a bit worried that my long term alcohol and drug intake coupled with poor lifestyle choices isn’t going to do enough to kill me before the entire world falls apart. I can’t cope with a post apocalyptic hellscape. Not at my age. Not with these knees.

Why is this pumpkin covered in what appears to be Old Enochian writing?

www.maptap.gg October 27 86🎓 99🔥 83🌟 96🔥 99🔥 Final score: 936

“Yes, I heard what you said. However, as a counterpoint: give me scritches and cuddles right *now*”

Strongly suspect that Truss will become the first PM in history to fully melt her brain on Twitter. Odds are also good she’ll turn up shitfaced to the Cenotaph before trying to start fights with all the other former PMs.

Got my @thebugle.bsky.social merch on my birthday. Which was nice. Of course, now my wife suspects I’m having an affair with another Bugler, but it’s nice to have some excitement in life.

Vampires are inherently Catholic. Werewolves are inherently Protestant. Zombies are inherently Atheist. Thank you for coming to my presentation.

www.maptap.gg October 26 95🏅 91👑 88🎉 79👏 66🙃 Final score: 797

"Why Defeats For Bolsonaro & Vučić Are Bad News For Left Wing Politics, Actually" - Finty Bucklefast in tomorrow's Telegraph.

Fully expecting some coup-adjacent behaviour from Bolsonaro’s lot based on nothing more than a faint awareness of Brazilian history, the state of the world today, and the fact that I’m a relentlessly miserable bastard who refuses to make to most of nice things.

BBC noticeably reluctant to give even a hint of positive news about Lula on their live news feed.

"Do not act as if thou wert going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over thee. While thou livest, while it is in thy power, be good." Meditations 4.17 #stoicism #philosophy

We’re doing *fine*.

As I approach my birthday, I wish for the following: for one day, let all of the medical advances being touted on Facebook actually be true. Wouldn’t that be nice? Wildly unlikely, but nice all the same.

Pestilence: there can only be four horsemen of the apocalypse Famine: so, one of us needs to go War: well, I know who I’d choose Gary: you thinking Death too?

Jesus fucking Christ, I thought this was a joke. Aside from anything else, the kid’s *amazing*.

Canestan.

Show a pic on your phone that has your energy but isn’t a selfie

It’s too windy outside.

"What is best in life? To sow your yearly corn, to see them tended before you and hear the crop rotation of the women." Conan the Agrarian

It’s weird when the big bad terrifying figure from your childhood gradually turns into a frail, elderly lady who is growing palpably more frightened of the passage of time. Past me is giving Current me some serious shit for not being considerably more vindictive about the whole thing.

www.maptap.gg October 25 82🌟 94🏅 84😁 95🏅 83🌟 Final score: 878

Seems to be Sexbot Saturday today.

Went back to yoga for the first time in 3 months and now every move I make is exquisite agony.

If the rightwing have hijacked the term 'woke' to mean anything vaguely compassionate or progressive, we should co-opt the term 'rightwing' to mean anything perverted, cruel or violent. "I saw in the news that my old maths teacher was rightwinging a load of his pupils and now he's on a register".

www.maptap.gg October 24 99🔥 100🎯 87🎓 77🤗 80🤗 Final score: 844

The movie Threads is pertinent again.

This is really cool. Also, I had no idea that so many houses in York's suburbs had Wikipedia pages. Most of them have more detail than is in the wiki page for the entire village that I grew up in.

Well I didn’t expect my Parkinson’s medication to need boosting *quite* so soon. It’s obviously bad news, and I plan to deal with the bad news by drinking it. Like an Englishman does.

www.maptap.gg October 23 90👑 93🏆 94🏆 94🏅 94🏅 Final score: 935

I’m told that a common Glaswegian phrase is “They need kicking in the c*nt”. It’s applied liberally to both men and women who are running their mouth off or generally talking utter shite. Can’t think why this Scottish phrase has just recently popped into my head.

ET. I basically watched the last half hour through a veil of tears as I suppressed sobs so as not to get the piss taken out of me by my mother.

Aaaaaand relax.

ME: Okay, so we’re done shitting, right? MY BOWELS: Absolutely. No more shit in there. ME: Because we’ve been sitting here a few minutes and no new news. MY BOWELS: No yeah. Done shitting. Shit levels are zero. ME: You’re sure? MY BOWELS: 100%. ME: Okay then [standing up] MY BOWELS: WAIT WAIT WAIT

Take him out back and shoot him, somebody. Fucks sake…

My Halloween outfit is taking shape.

www.maptap.gg October 22 95🏅 100🎯 80🌞 94🏆 95🏅 Final score: 922

I laughed so hard at this that I woke the kids: www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home...

Maybe it’s spending Saturday in a nuclear bunker, or maybe it’s just my general mood, but I get the feeling Trump is going to pop off a nuke soon.

“Showing how racist our racists are has made our racists sad and you should feel bad. Now all our racists are crying. Are you happy now?”

Enjoy the earworm, suckers!

This is one of the best things to have happened in the uk in my lifetime. No joke. I honestly find it kind of inspiring.

I can’t remember who it was that did that “All the Leaves are Brown, and my Face is Red, by the Momma’s and the Poppers”, but know that you’ve *ruined* that song for me.

Is Clearsky fucked now or do I actually have to log into it?

www.maptap.gg October 21 92🏆 85😁 90👑 94🏅 98🔥 Final score: 933