THEJordonBrown

I keep seeing a Kalshi ad that starts (before I can scroll away) with some guy saying “Do you think Republicans will flip the House?” I’ve never been interested in betting, but I will happily gamble everything I own that the political party currently controlling the House cannot, in fact, flip it.

Congrats to Lula on overcoming Mark Zuckerberg and Donald Trump to defeat Hospital Pervert Jr., even as his opposition literally blocked off roads and turned off bus service during election day. Fascists are scary but they are always, 100% of the time, ultimately gigantic fucking losers.

Lula winning gives me hope that we will survive climate change

I’m reluctant to limit voting rights, but maybe if you use AI to describe your kid, it comes back with the most generic answer ever, and you think it’s brilliant, your vote doesn’t count anymore.

I bought a breakfast taco for $4.50 this morning. It was normal sized and fine. Unacceptable.

Greg Abbott making stops in Williamson County in the final weeks of the campaign:

Just saw Greg Abbott visiting a local fire station. Didn’t slow down to boo him, and I regret it.

Josh Turek is a fascist and has no place in any political party I would call myself a member of

How many years of universal school lunches could Texas have if it took the money Elon Musk spent to try and buy a senate seat and used it for good?

if you ever happen to see someone post a joke you don't understand or discuss a subject you aren't familiar with, you are well within your right to complain, and perhaps even scold them if necessary. you are their customer and you have rights

To let you know how we voted: We voted and then went to the library.

Do you think anyone has made an AI Rube Goldberg machine and do you think he’s the saddest man who’s ever lived?

I just ate a chocolate chip that was on my desk. I have not had anything with chocolate chips in it today.

Got a check for $1.95. If you never hear from me again, it's because I'm so rich now.

Just saw someone make an AI slop video to try to save Mass Effect and damn peoples’ brains are just rotted through

And so it begins

“Trump is defending the woman who supported a pedophile” is a sentence that could be about two different women and what the fuck are we doing

Goodness gracious, James Spader is criminally delightful in Visionquest.

This Democrat party needs a couch fucking

“The moment you compromise the rights of a trans person in America, you compromise the rights of every citizen in America.” Hell yeah, AOC.

Assuming that Mass Effect leaked trailer is real, damn I hate EA even more

I’m goddamn begging you to speak like a human being and also goddamn begging you to not listen to Nate Silver

Is that whole Elon Musk movie going to be a thing where people accuse him of rigging the election without any evidence? My guys, he’s evil but not a genius. He’s just a rich conman. Of course he’s confident all his opinions are fact. He’s a moron.

Thank goodness bubbles are unpoppable

Then he should go to The Hague apple.news/Af4Mq9T4eR2y...

I trust Matthew McConaughey’s opinion on politics as much as I trust my ability to spell his last name without googling it

🎶Every accusation is always a confession🎶

Everyone who bet on this should have all of their money seized and then they should all be shot on a rocket into the sun

I’m eternally grateful the Brewers saved baseball. But I’m also a Cardinals fan, so let’s go Rays!

This is her profile picture and that’s enough reason to be humiliated you follow her

How did you find out the young man’s identity, @wsj.com? hmm?

I’m still exclusively thinking about You Can See Everything

“You look like your kids went no contact” remains my favorite insult to hurl at someone who is hateful on the internet

The reverse of what this dipshit (not Paul) said is also true: There have been no polling bumps for Dems abandoning trans people. It’s not a winning strategy, but it is telling of how much Democrats are willing to get in bed with fascists to acquire power.

“The internet is a store but it used to be a library” hits me like a slug to the chest

SCOOP: 'Tommy' from the now-viral exchange with Abdul El-Sayed is Thomas Teepell, a former staffer for Republican Senator Josh Hawley with close ties to Christian Nationalist Sean Feucht. He's the son of a former Bobby Jindal staffer whose consultant work was instrumental in getting Hawley elected.

The thing about Jan Crawford’s “diatribe” and CNN’s “heated” is, we all could see the whole exchange with our own eyes, but it suggests they’ve fucked up a lot of coverage of things we couldn’t see.

I saw the scariest Halloween decoration I’ve ever seen in my life: A Ken Paxton for senate sign.

I’m terrified of someone stopping me and asking me to name 5 WNBA players on camera because it would be me screaming “I also can’t name 5 NBA players!”

left-wing cisgender witches also hate Donald Trump

Oregon saw basically the best possible outcome of a “good guy with a gun” and three kids and a teacher are dead. It’s. The. Guns.