𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℍ𝕚𝕤𝕥🎃𝕣𝕪 𝕠𝕗 ℂ𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕒 ℙ💀𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕥

megaphone.link#351.2 – Strange Tales XI.2: The Body Won’t Behave by The History of China

#351.2 – Strange Tales XI.2: The Body Won’t Behave Every body lives; not every body truly dies... megaphone.link/ARML1223949546

"Where the hell does that running-dog Mbappé get off calling Mao a 'dictator'?!” “…The personality cult?” “Fine, apart from the cult.” “…And the Little Red Book? And the Anti-Rightist Campaign, obviously, after he asked everyone for criticism to “let a hundred flowers bloom.”

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“… & Liu Shaoqi dying in custody. & Deng, twice. & not holding a Party Congress for 13 yrs, & turning teenagers loose on the Party itself, & the struggle sessions, the labor camps, the execution quotas, & personally owning the army…”

“YES! YES! But APART from all that, the *point* is that wily rascal Mbappé has hurt the feelings of 1.4 billion Chinese hearts! When has Mao ever really behaved like a dictator?” … “… putting his face on all the money & having his preserved corpse on display in the Capital??” “OH, SHUT IT!!”

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“Okay! Apart from the cult, the book, the rightists, & purging Peng Dehuai for being correct about the Great Leap. My point is…” “…And the famine.” “Yes, yes, the famine that caused some 30 million deaths by starvation due to official incompetence and fear of being purged for reporting bad news!”

11h

And then Hunny Bunny, big Hunny, strong Bunny, he says to me, tears in his eyes, he says, “Sir which wallet is your, Sir? I’m so stupid I can’t find it.” And I said to him - are you ready? - I tell him, “bitch, be cool. it’s the one that says Bad Motherfucker on in.” Oh! I’m not supposed to say it!

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com

Trump on DC: "Nobody wanted to eat out. They were afraid. Even if you were in the restaurant, people would walk in and like the Wild West, 'Hold it up!' Everybody is standing there. Can you imagine? A fancy restaurant. They were robbing the whole restaurant. It's crazy."

[Shout from the crowd]: "I LOVE YOU, PUMPKIN!" [VANCE]: "I love you too, Hunny-Bunny! In a totally platonic way, to be clear! This is a robbery, everybody, not a basement session at Zed's Pawn Shop!"

10h

Next stop: Idaho, ho! [JD]: “It sure does feel good to be in Boys!” [AUDIENCE]: “It’s *Boise.*”

𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℍ𝕚𝕤𝕥🎃𝕣𝕪 𝕠𝕗 ℂ𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕒 ℙ💀𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕥@thoc.bsky.social

Nothing says “sincerity” quite like mispronouncing the state’s capital. Not sure the Forstag & Bodnar campaigns could’ve possibly dreamed of this kind of unforced, free windfall for them

11h

Nothing says “sincerity” quite like mispronouncing the state’s capital. Not sure the Forstag & Bodnar campaigns could’ve possibly dreamed of this kind of unforced, free windfall for them

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com

yikes -- JD Vance butchers the pronunciation of Helena during his speech in Montana and then says, "I am humble enough to admit when I'm wrong"

[NARRATOR]: “He had personally started the war with Iran.”

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com

Trump: "We didn't start the war with Iran. Iran started the war with us."

tmz.comNicki Minaj Floated As Press Secretary Replacement By White House StaffersNicki Minaj has received some informal nominations to be the next White House press secretary ... with 2 staffers glowingly floating her name as a replacement after Katie Zacharia was fired.

Yeah man, fuck it

David BASTARDspan@davidbix.com

what no

Have you ever been in a traffic jam so long, Neo, that you weren't sure if you were still driving, or only dreamed the world outside your car? Look out there. What you see is not an expressway. It's a holding pen. 50 lanes into 4 at the Beijing tollbooth. Cars are no longer driven. They are stored.

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For the longest time, I wouldn't believe it. Then I saw the G4 with my own eyes. Watched them hand out lukewarm Nongfu to people parked there since Monday. Watch them boil fangbianmian bought at 5x/price in the median. Watched a man finished 2 whole seasons of a Red drama in front of the same sign.

And standing there on the overpass, watching the brake lights stretch horrifyingly off away deep into Hebei, I came to realize the obviousness of the truth: nobody was going home. They were home, and always had been.

13h

I'M NOT THAT KLINGON. I CAN PROMISE YOU THAT. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DISHONOR YOUR HOUSE ON. OF COURSE I'M NOT DISHONORING YOUR HOUSE. I'M ENGAGING WITH YOU AS A FELLOW WARRIOR. HM? WHY WOULD I DISHONOR YOUR HOUSE? THERE'S NO... THERE'S NO REASON FOR ME TO DO THAT.

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patreon.com#352 - Taiping 26: Two Seals and a Coffin | Chris StewartEarly Access: 10/26 Official Release: 10/31

13h

Early Access: #352 - Taiping 26: Two Seals and a Coffin The emperor is dead, the heir is 5, & his 8 regents have the empire sewn up tight. All they have to do is get through the funeral... www.patreon.com/thehistoryof...

14h

It ought to be noted, though, that Dante's take on Ulysses was as a child of Rome, & had only ever read of that Aeneid through earlier romans like Cicero & Ovid... all of whom saw themselves as the Children of Troy & the armies of Agamemnon as the OG Anti-Romans

violet allen@blipstress.bsky.social

Like this is not a modern woke take. This is an ancient take echoed through history. He kind of sucks. Dante has him in the eighth circle of Hell. That's like the second to worst one.

15h

I am announcing a Burrito Hyperloop, coming soon™️

astra of many handles@astra.fail

no, it's not a burrito taxi. there are three different burrito orders in one vehicle, you see, so actually it's more like a burrito bus. transit needs to work for everyone, including food items.

16h

It’s literally one of the few ways that makes one an American.

The Bulwark@thebulwark.com

Rally speaker: "Mike Rogers is an American. Abdul has a birth certificate. The birth certificate says he's a citizen of America. You know what? a birth certificate doesn't make you an American."

17h

All work and no play makes Donald a dull boy. Allwork and noplay makes Donald a dull boy. All work and no play makesDonald a dull boy. All work and no play makes Donald a dull boy. All work and not play makes Donald a dull boy. All work and noplay makes Donald a dull boy.

Yashar Ali 🐘@yasharali.bsky.social

The latest Truth Social post from the president of the United States.

17h

I do not-so-lowkey love that Maher came out with yet another smarmy smug "ain't I a stinker" asshole "oops I did it again" about his new Dinner Avec Trump, & was all like "he was the perfect gentleman, you stupid liberals" on then gets... THIS in return Fuck off into the Sun, Bill.

𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℍ𝕚𝕤𝕥🎃𝕣𝕪 𝕠𝕗 ℂ𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕒 ℙ💀𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕥 reposted

Micro SF/F by O. Westin

@microsff.com

The God of Bad Art gets offerings from all over the world, but in Their temple, They sometimes appear. "Why bad art?" I ask. "It is brave", the God replies. "To try and fail?" "No," the God chuckles. "Any creative work is a defiance of entropy, of Death itself. If you create, you do not fail."

I like my local Tirerama’s sense of humor

Pro-Tip: move the Jeffy Dahmer trophy out of the freezer to get to the really good stuff: the WIlcoxin's Huckleberry Ice Cream Sandwiches

I'm ever more convinced that it's not even really a bit for him anymore, Matty really is just earnestly this stupid.

Dan Mauler 🎃@meelar.bsky.social

I just think Matt's wrong about this. We're at a point in our technological development where a ton of problems spill over national borders--if Flavio Bolsonaro burns down the Amazon, that will flood houses in Miami.

21h

Complete erase of the many Setthews and Sethmereldas of the world

Shenanigans@shenanigans.bsky.social

Seth is a name that sounds like it should be short for something but it isn't which is why I don't trust them

21h

Then there’s that one guy I think in Oklahoma - Sethwayne

21h

Day 3 of heavy fog & I’m starting to feel like I’m living in a Stephen King story…

TFW you erase something but then you can still read the indent in the paper...

it sounds crazy, I know, I know, but hear me out...

Sophia_Nyx 🐰@sophianyx.bsky.social

Name two characters you think are the same person.

[Marissa]: "Quick! What are 3 things my 10 year old daughter likes?!" [Dazzle] <takes Colt .45 out of mouth> "i dunno, man... 'ponies'... 'pink,' probably?... and... fuck it, 'cupcakes.' <puts gun back in mouth>

David Gura@davidgura.bsky.social

cool, cool

Sorry, but you've all massively undercounted. There are actually 108 kinds of Bluesky users. They are further subdivided into 36 Heavenly Stars & 72 Earthly Fiends.

<wiping blood from mouth> “heh. you think you’ve won? in spite of your strongest attacks, you haven’t killed a cheesecake factory. You’ve merely created a milllion cheesecake factories. death is only the beginning…” <ominously evaporates>

internet community suicide

eliza hamilton@eliza.vg

i cannot imagine doing this shit what the fuck lmao have people lost their marbles

Sometimes when I'm down, I go and look up the old places I used to work, and I find the ones that have shut down since I left, & I just go "yeah, that's right."

By his own words he thinks his fellow Americans are stupid, illiterate losers, marks, suckers, & rubes always ripe for the exploitation. He despises them all & everything they’ve ever purported to stand for. And he keeps getting proven right

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com

Trump says Alaska’s ballot is illegal because people don’t know what “incumbent” means

He’s the very embodiment of what happens to the hubris that hands a chimpanzee a loaded AK-47. He is the clown’s revenge