TOM

KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag. KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense. KOKO: jealousy professor

I was in the marines my job was to milk the cows and also I put helmets on the cows. The milk from the cows made my brothers in the marines big and strong 💪 🐮

(Looking at most beautiful natural vista anyone has ever seen) I could put my laptop on that rock and get some work done there

Lmao. This is somehow real.

Played riftbound pre-release last night and went 3-0. All credit to the boys (the jarvan deck I opened and the doubles of armory and elephant and that I got on top of it). The game’s pretty fun it’s no Flesh and Blood but fun to throw guys down onto places

I have evangelized about this game many times including tonight. I love it very very much. Check it out

Mrs. Stupid

brutal stuff

Just played some riftbound. Cool game even as a fiddly little rectangle simulator. Annoying having to count that much shit. They should bring in the heroes I like and make them cards I like (I don’t know any)

(bumps into you in the corridor) oops! (smiles then does his dance) yeah! uh-huh! yeah-heh-yeah! (winks at you and then walks down the corridor)

Piggy made a face in the recent video feed of the podcast BST.PNG and so I had to draw it. @tomwalker.bsky.social @demilardner.bsky.social

Have listened to, conservatively, 80+ episodes of bst in one ear while at work in the last two months and it's been great. Two of the funniest fuckin people on this planet

I love playing videogames right up till the scales fall from my eyes and I realise the roguelike I’m playing is gambling dopamine disguised as strategy mixed with light execution barrier and then I start trying to press the scales back on. Yeah usually when I press on the scales they just say FAT

I think I’m probably gonna outlive my wife but there’s no way to say that without sounding like you have a plan

An honest exchange about outfits between husband and wife (@demilardner.bsky.social) Listen to BigSoftTitty.png 🤳

that’s okay thanks

i'm live now!! gonna play a game after watching some crap twitch.tv/tomwalker

“Bart vs. Australia” is another season six classic, and we’ve got a lot of history to explore in this trivia-filled @talksimpsonspod.bsky.social ep! And we’re joined by Australia’s own @tomwalker.bsky.social! Listen now wherever you download podcasts: talkingsimpsons.libsyn.com/talking-simp...

Hello?

LAST EP OF SEASON THREE PLEASE WATCH IT IM REALLY PROUD OF IT AND ALSO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT SO I CAN DO IT AGAIN

If I could go back in time and change one thing on the current season of Great Australian Bake Off I guess it would be to make sure I don’t have terrifying black gloves in the bee costume

Crab News Update from BigSoftTitty.png with me and @demilardner.bsky.social

What’s happens when you make cars go 999% faster in GTA4 DLC? This madness. If you haven’t seen these before, check out @tomwalker.bsky.social’s main game streams first because they are a thing of absolute joy imo.

Two things: 1) New video youtu.be/3ImtXqP3_XE?... 2) The A/B test for this one’s title is not working out well for me at this moment

Lying down on a couch. An absolute luxury

I’m jacking off once more. How pedestrian. Utterly predictable. Ah, that familiar flood of “warmth” - one guess as to what happens next here. Humph, seems the body continues to disappoint

truly one of the best comedy shows made in the past few years

penis pump is back

Piggy and the 0.5x camera…. A match made in heaven

The best game show of all time is BACK!!!

this friday at 6pm pacific, we will teach @tomwalker.bsky.social English etiquette... using only YouTube videos of guys telling you how to have proper English etiquette. they're all really stupid. head over to our patreon & sign up at the $9 tier to get access! patreon.com/whatsallthisthen

Table of young women near me. One is 23 dating a 32 year old and she is fighting for her life. One of her friends just said “I don’t like that he wears a hat to hide his hairline all the time” and she wailed “he just likes baseball!!”