Tragic Johnson

I have yet to hear a convincing reason why the people of Etobicoke should be allowed to vote in municipal, provincial, or federal elections

A reminder, because it is almost that time of year: More children are killed by cars on Halloween than any other day of the year, by far. www.vox.com/future-perfe... If you're a parent, I hope you'll do what you can to keep kids safe. If you're driving on Saturday, PLEASE exercise extra caution.

Not sure there's any topping this one.

Arne Slot is somehow looking worse in retrospect

At any given time, 90% of Bluesky is wearing the same Puma ankle socks from Costco

You gotta appreciate how society’s one and only solution to “everything is getting too expensive” is “we’re going to make your mortgage payments higher”

Lots of deep vein thrombosis experts on the timeline today

A Forest win against Arsenal and Manchester City getting the death penalty would make the league a lot more interesting going forward

Headbutting a man in the mouth while making eye contact with the referee is crazy

Referee looking 30 times at the least incriminating angle

First time I’ve read one of his articles in months and sure enough, there it is

Keep telling me about the Waterpik, dentist offices. The next sales pitch will be the one that works

Happy Departure Day to all who celebrate!

I genuinely despise these articles by ex referees carrying water for current referees. Why does anyone read this shit?

Still incredibly put off by City’s post-game celebrations acting like they were coming off the Munich Air Disaster and not getting caught in an enormous cheating scandal

It is underdiscussed that the premier league allowed its referees to take a sketchy side job with Manchester City’s owners during a massive cheating investigation that it was conducting into Manchester City’s owners

My main thought after watching Barcola come in for a billion pounds and barely affect games is this: How good was Sadio Mané?

Not sure I’ve ever seen a Liverpool player in a big match so visibly pull out of a 50/50 challenge like Florian Wirtz did today Maybe he comes good, maybe he doesn’t, but everyone saw him make a business decision on that one

Liam Coen and Nick Sirianni just going shot for shot with the dumbest coaching decisions you’ve ever seen We all lose

I will walk an unspeakably dark path if we discover that OneDrive can feel pain

It’s that time of year again, when we see who the REAL ALPHAS are … @theonion.com

Imagine you’re hanging out with the boys at the bar and one of them starts standing like this

this is my favorite genre of social media post and I am soliciting links or screenshots to your favorites

How can we get Nathan Fielder into a rental home with Man City execs for the next 34 days

Luckily they’ve learned their lesson from the RGIII experience

Send this to every Man City fan you know. #115

It's very silly to complain about someone else's entirely subjective best-of list, with the exception of when I complain that there are definitely not 96 shows this century better than CONMUNITY.

Watching bad things happen to the New York Giants feels something like it must have to be a normie when the gods were striking down Sisyphus or Tantalus or whoeverp

If Chelsea can avoid conceding for the rest of the season they’ll match the record set by Mourinho’s 2004-2005 squad for fewest goals in a single season (15)

Reacher and the Buffalo Bills have pretty much the same premise at this point

If you lived in Canada in the 90s every broadcast mention of Detriot Lions corner Rock Ya-Sin sure sounds like “Roch Voisine”

Napoleon ranking suggests the system need to be reweighted to account for making any of the classic blunders, like marching on Moscow

Critically Acclaimed ‘Ted Lasso’ Episode Just Stock Photos Of People Hugging Each Other https://theonion.com/critically-acclaimed-ted-lasso-episode-just-stock-pho-1847547843/

Love that he claps how he talks

Renting a cottage and these strange birds have been Weezering outside the window since we arrived

"Everybody knows Ebenezer Scrooge was in the wrong. But what this movie presupposes is: what if he wasn't?"

Wow, Leo Messi retires to Falkland Islands

I would have liked for Liverpool to have kept Mo Salah and sold Cody Gakpo for £80 million

I am not Cody Gakpo’s biggest fan, but Liverpool’s commitment to having exactly 11 players remains baffling

The Garden of Earthly Delights (detail), by Hieronymus Bosch, 1480-1505

“Jim Beglin” is what JK Rowling would call a hobo wizard that carries his things over his shoulder in a handkerchief tied to his wand

I think it would be reasonable to ask for hotels, for the price we pay for them these days, to have chargers on both sides of the bed