the apple guy™

Here's a silly little thing I do as a fun exercise at the start of every college football season. Presenting the 2026 All-Heirloom Team.

on a long enough timeline i think every poster with a good head on their shoulders becomes @cheatlines.co

fumbliano caruana

blue man onion

we need hostile architecture for the politically homeless

people who are not complicit famously love saying “i am not complicit”. that’s how you can tell they are not complicit. because they tell you. they say “i am not complicit” and it proves they are not complicit.

whenever someone on here complains that an independent creator is charging for their content i’m like “oh there’s a republican who doesn’t know it yet”

@cheatlines.co Darryl B. Blood

my left and right hand scoot mcnairy

sorry did you say “zelle me” (because you want money) or “zel me” (because you want pretzels)

[eating a very specific pepper] he really put his whole jimmy nardussy into this

Two members of the 2026 All-Heirloom Team are in action on Week Zero: Easton Black (Punter, TCU) and Savion Red (Running Back, Sacramento State)

she was 100x braver about this shit in 1985 than country artists are now

granny smith is not actually “a good baking apple”, it is simply the best option for baking in your average US grocery store.

i've given it some thought and i've decided i'm going to become A Catch

audible "noooooooooo" when reacher ordered his cheesesteak with wiz

learning that the WNBA news cycle about trans people involves zero trans people feels like coming accross a cartoon dust cloud that dissipates to reveal there's only one guy in it kicking his own ass

me: it's not just a nice bonus that the beat is so well crafted and catchy! the comedy literally only works in this instance *because* they love and respect the art form enough to take the accompanying music very very seriously. akiva schaffer: YO FOR REAL THOUGH I SUFFER FROM STINKY DICK

Jaya rules, and Ravenous rules! This is such a vivid example of how generative AI does not "democratize" art and culture like its boosters claim. It actually increases the need for/impulse towards gatekeeping because in practice, AI just democratizes fraud. Actual work still takes time and skill!

Social work? I sure hope it does

@lerbonjanes u like what u see?

unfortunately my honest to god answer to this is Reuben Sandwich

“a stweetcaw named desiwe” by infant playwright Teensie Williams

The best part of my humanities education was discovering this grand conversation happening throughout time that didn’t depend on me or even involve me *at all*. I think eliminating that is a reason why society trashes the humanities constantly

It makes sense that the far right loves the idea that trans girls can overpower cis girls, because that naturally follows from the position that cis women are inherently weak. The fact that people nominally on the left adopt this position, and claim it to be feminist, is somewhat more puzzling

heartbreaking news: all of my coworkers have heard me use the joke "[points at the cover of this book] this is what they say when they see me in the streets" and now i need to develop an actual personality

hey kaga-san, what's your favorite kind of joga?

canes

nik ehlers plays an extremely libidinous brand of ice hockey