Wing2J

You absolutely do not need to give Deshaun Watson credit. He could throw 50 TDs and no INTs the rest of the season and I still want nothing to do with him. I’m an adult with a life outside of football. Fuck him

That being said

Mayo? I cannot support this man. May god have mercy on his soul, I would have none.

Oh my god, Cavan was only alive for 10 Donovan McNabb starts.

Now I'm kinda disappointed any time there's a false start/offsides penalty, and the non-penalized team doesn't start doing Fortnite dances while pointing at the other team. Thanks, Detroit.

Uncle Phil?

Dallas' defense is made up of stinky butt-cheese, isn't it?

SAQUOOOOOON!

I legit had no idea that could be a penalty. What kind of fucking formation restrictions are there on the defense?

Our Queen has spoken!

I have not felt less enthusiastic about a Go Birds in a long time, but Go Birds nevertheless. And fuck Dallas forever.

OH NO

I'm not sure if it's cool or sad that Kate Scott said they'll be showing player intros and the in-arena hype video for every game this season because regular fans can't afford to come down to the arena.

FREE CHICKEN!

TYRESE MAXEY BAY-BAY

What? You're allowed to do this? Improve your players through coaching? (asking for a Phillies fan)

"I was a dumbass for X, Y, Z reasons. Material reality made me see the error of my ways" is actually incredibly uplifting stuff, especially from a 25 year old with a blue collar job and a HS diploma. He was a teenager during Trump 1

HE DROPPED THE BALL! HE DROPPED THE BALL!

Guys, I have done so much sportsing today that it's kindof a relief that I won't have to worry about watching football tomorrow.

Brew Crew?

Joel Embiid triple double and Jaylen Brown was a +24, never has one game made all the worst people in the NBA sphere so mad

My wife is rather tickled at 'Stroh being the sideline guy for the Sixers because we're both HUGE fans of his podcast... About Top Chef.

Get someone that looks at you and so on and so forth

Oops all all-stars

A fun game this season will be trying to figure out *which* Sixer the crowd is chanting "M-V-P!" for.

PLAY THE FUCKING SONG

SEXERS

Kate Scott having to do that promo and pretend that the Eagles/Cowboys on MNF won't be a big flaming turd of a game is cruel and unusual punishment.

Welp, so much for undefeated since the World Cup. It was a hell of a run.

Dave Leno for the SECOND time tonight said "from the tip of the D" and someone needs to have a talk with him

The vibes of this Union match are so fucking bad right now

Milan. Baby. Laying it off for Indy is never the answer.

"Iloski with a shot from the tip of the D!" - Dave Leno

ANDRE GODDAMN BLAKE

Gazdag is SAWFT.

The Sixers are allowed to have TWO women on the pregame show? In this economy?

This was peak halloween costume format, we have only fallen since then

Good morning! GO SIXERRSSSS!!!!!!!!! 🥳

But is it 'for fucks sake' or 'for fuck's sake'?

All food is comfort food, frankly.

In this house, we blame the bitchass Mets.