This Dan is your Dan, this Dan is my Dan

1/6 So recently a friend of mine sent me the following photo and suggested it was a great idea. I mean, who wouldn't want a tree rex? I agree, but I had some other ideas as well. I will not apologize for what is to come next.

The 5-year cancer survival rate is up to 70% SIDS deaths have decreased by over 50% 89% decline in tornado deaths All thanks to federal investment in science and OUR tax dollars at work!

Hey @sickoscommittee.org be sure to check in on UTRGV before this game ends, too. Up 24-21, Central Ark is driving with 1:30 left.

Tonight in the "this has never happened to me before" category: While walking down the main street in Salina, KS, a 30-something guy stopped his pickup in the middle of the street and yelled at me to tell me that he liked my beard.

It's far less painful watching Kentucky do this nonsense to a different team this week. I could have done without the clip from last week, but I'm happily going all in on the chaos this week

Oh, we're doing -this-. Okay.

I still giggle to myself every time the announcers say "Pat McCann."

Virginia Tech: doing unconventional things with defensive coordinators since 2015.

You can't out-ouroboros the ACC.

I knew the Canes' offense was gonna be good this year but this is ridiculous

Big Halloween 2007 game flashbacks here. I don't like it, Bob.

ADHD first world problems: I can't remember if I took my Jornay and now I can't decide if I want to risk doubling up

Rock, Chalk, Beamerball?

This game is being played in Kansas, but offensively, it's Misery

When I was a kid, I recall friends' parents and other adults throwing "over the hill" themed 40th birthday parties, where the entire decor was this morbid production with black balloons and a strong "death is coming for you" motif. Does anyone still do this?

"LL Cool J" stands for "Learned League CoolJ"

I know it's just VMI, but I can't remember the last time the Hokies looked this good during the first game of the season. It's been so flat for so, so long.

Catching up on Friday's Tour stage, and of course there's an FSU flag flying among the party on L'Alpe d'Huez.

Here’s Why Weather Forecasts Have Seemed So Inaccurate Lately. Meteorologists simply aren't able to gather as much data as they used to, and you're suffering for it. gizmodo.com/heres-why-we...

Outstanding news for a fleet that has more than earned their stripes over the last 50 years.

Anybody want to hire a meteorologist/GIS guy?

Hear me out: the How I Met Your Mother finale was a superb piece of TV. Even a decade later, I don't understand how people can be mad at the writing. Maybe knowing what's coming is the key? The buildup over the final season hits even harder when you know how fleeting his time with Traci becomes.

Donut: THIS WASN’T CARL’S FAULT. NOT THIS TIME. Lexis: It’s a little bit his fault. Donut: WELL, IT’S ALWAYS A LITTLE BIT HIS FAULT. I can't begin to tell you how much I relate to this.

Alexa, play Brass Bonanza

"Why are we quoting high-level sources inside the Swiss Olympic Committee on Helsinki's bid for the 2010 Olympics?" I'm not sure this question ever got answered in that show's entire run.

Happy Pride! Gayville, SD

This. Excited for next week.

Actively tearing down the US research enterprise is a disaster for the country.

When I am king for a day, my first decree will be to outlaw television motion smoothing.

Rewatching ER, and finally got to the episode where Mark Greene passed. Not sure why, but my allergies are something extra awful tonight.

This is nothing new, but there's something unsettling about checking my flood risk on the FEMA Flood Insurance maps and being told that I am in an area of reduced risk due to a levee. I understand the benefits, but I also have some knowledge of what happens when levees fail. That's still risky.

Oh no, not the dinosaurs!

Uh, it's not supposed to do that.

I have to give credit to Eastern Motors's marketing team. I haven't lived in the DC area for over 20 years at this point and I still get that song stuck in my head.

Blothar The Berserker Of GWAR Explains How Independent Journalism Is The Only Force As Powerful As GWAR. Subscribe to The Onion at membership.theonion.com.