^Yarder^

Come be amazed at what celebrities are not allowed to buy at River Side Casino!

All guests 95 or older can sign up for our Lifetime of Free Soup program.

If you're looking for a logo: nasibov.me/contact

Need a logo design? nasibov.me/contact

Patrons who come to our casino wearing those "smart glasses" must promise not to use them to cheat at gambling.

Looking for some extra gambling money? You only need one eye to look at your cards.

The latest merch is now in our gift shop. Drop in for a shot glass, pill holder, mouse pad, or blood offering.

We never really gave the phrase "Who watches the watchmen?" much thought until our auditor was arrested for check kiting.

It's sad to think that if we ever went out of business, this place would very quickly become a data center.

Stop comparing drug addiction and gambling addiction. It is not helping us bring in new addicts

We’re no longer the #3 most cited reason for divorce in the Midwest!

Looking for a logo design? nasibov.me/contact

Don't give up on your dreams. You might be the best crafter of cheap circus whiskey the world has ever seen, but we'll never know until you try.

Had a conversation this weekend with 17yo son about how one day his morals will be tested, peer pressured. He'll be asked to just look away. It may be a friend he trusts. What you do when your morals are tested is who you are. Have the conversation with your sons. It's the least each of us can do.

NBA Reminds Rookies Not To Blow First Paycheck On Big-Ass Snake theonion.com/nba-reminds-...

Dude Wipes Introduces New Flushable Khakis https://theonion.com/dude-wipes-introduces-new-flushable-khakis/

Chump To Receive No Compensation For Rescuing Children From Fire

VOTE NO on Pro 75 (the 'TAX DRACULA' bill.) If we try to tax Dracula, he will simply move away to Texas.

Man Who Lost Everything In Crypto Just Wishes Several Thousand More People Had Warned Him https://theonion.com/man-who-lost-everything-in-crypto-just-wishes-several-t-1848764551/

This October I will be doing some form of Sketchtober, but with the list compiled from things my patrons have requested featuring my OC! It's alot of fun, there are some awesome suggestions, and lets have a little fun with it :)

Man Confident He Would’ve Been Brave Enough To Send Thumbs Down Emoji In Cornell Group Chat

A monument honoring lab mice sacrificed for genetic research

Have you experienced the living death? If not, gamble harder.

Remember, it's not gambling, it's healing your inner child.

Roulette is considered as addictive as cocaine. Come try it if you don’t believe us. Your first bet is on us.

Please don’t gamble if you’re dead. The gaming commission keeps giving us fines.

Our pharmacy is finally legal!

It’s a great day to call in sick and go to a casino.

There are no questions about bestiality on our employment application forms.

Fair warning: we have cameras everywhere. Some are for your safety, some are for security, and some are because we're trying to find out who keeps stealing the GM's moustache combs.

The ancient scrolls have foretold of a wise and wondrous buffet customer who doesn't complain about the quality of the crab legs

Hotel rooms are 50% off! It’s locust season.

Our VIP hosts are happy to answer any of your concerns about the ridiculous idea of quitting gambling.

My wife texted me "I think our horse is haunted" then when I got home I just found her phone on the floor and "get out" was written on the wall in blood. Did she write that to scare away the horse??

consumerrights.wiki/w/Main_Page Mainly so I can find this again; but you may be interested as well.