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You work around here long enough you start thinking things like, "I've seen every toaster," but you have to remember that life is full of the unexpected.

"I am going to make a toaster and sell it to the American people." Congratulations! You are embarking on a wonderous toast journey. Begin here: www.cpsc.gov/Business--Ma...

Is there guidance on aerodynamics

Probably FAA territory!

but surely you have to have your concerns, right? do you have to turn the entire thing upside down to dump the crumbs?

We're assuming that this toaster has a self-cleaning option that heats the entire trophy to 500 degrees until it's glowing orange and the crumbs are burnt up. It probably looks really cool.