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Screw it, I know what you people want. 1 like = 1 absolute for sure historical factual fact about @tkingfisher.com.

Ursula Vernon speaks sixty three frog languages, which is mighty impressive since there ain't but four.

Once a man spat on Ursula Vernon's dog and she knotted him up like a pretzel. He got sold at the state fair and was mighty delicious.

Don't tell nobody I told you this, but Ursula Vernon's hat contains a black hole inside'a which is a whole other garden 'cause she always gotta have one handy. Mostly she grows hair in it. Fine silky locks that only gets a lil bent comin' out the gravity well.

Some of them are languages that were spoken by frogs now extinct, and some languages that will be spoken by frogs still evolving. And, some, of course, are languages consisting of frogs. They are why there are frogs.

Wasn’t there some fairy tale with someone who spoke frogs, frogs dripping from her lips, possibly a princess? There should be an IMDB for half remembered children’s stories.