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can we really trust an emergency official who might disappear in times of need because God wants him Scattered and Smothered at a Waffle House? Drug Test Him Now!!!!

In my college days I teleported to Perkins often. Didn’t feel the need to make a big deal out of it.

Tell him to do it again in front of cameras!

Drugs. A helluva trip. 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

Why would anyone admire a God that thinks getting someone to waffle house is a higher priority than curing children of cancer and the many other health problems that kill and cause horrible pain for millions of children every day?

Who amongst us has not blacked out drunk and ended up in a Waffle House without having any idea how we got there?

I wonder which one of his personalities wanted waffles 🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️

You have to wonder why he picked a Waffle House. Does seem like an opportunity lost.

If FEMA has ethanol-powered teleportation technology there should have been some kind of formal announcement

And important point - question is, why don’t *all of us* teleport

bring that greasy sweaty Bukowski guy back. at least you could split a bottle of rotgut with him in an alley this guy is just a freak

I prefer Popeye's when I teleport.

Republican party of weirdo faith-cult nutters

Sir, could you have possibly been high on some really good weed you got from your church guy and then tripping out drove yourself to the Waffle house, because you had the munchies?

My twentysomething self once teleported to the pavement in the parking lot of a dive bar in Murfreesboro, TN where I proceeded to puke my guts out, presumably a reaction to the space/time travel.

Dude. You were just high. No biggie. People are doing it. A lot Get down from the ledge. You were just high.

Is “Teleported” some sort of MAGA Lyft?

He is not delusional, he is a liar. Like all of them.

He looks familiar. bsky.app/profile/kfil...

How lame do you have to be to teleport to the waffle house, and not to Tralfamadore or the moons of Saturn?

I've seen some wild shit at Waffle Houses, but I feel like I'd remember a guy teleporting into one.

Drug-induced hallucinations from a low IQ MAGA Republican. That tracks.

So next time we need a big evacuation, he can arrange for everyone to be teleported.

He was chosen for the job so he can teleport the next hurricane straight into Iran.

holy-vague shit deflection Batman! "Many of the comments cited are taken out of context or represent personal, informal, jovial, and somewhat spiritual discussions made in the context of barely surviving cancer; in a private capacity prior to his current role."

More likely, A coke-fueled weekend with a hooker & sort of coming out of it at a Waffle House.

That dude is drunk right now.

And he's only, like, the 3rd most crazy one in this administration

Why does his hair color not match his beard? Is that a side effect of teleportation?

“In my professional capacity I want you to know I drank so much I thought teleporting was real. I’d seen some Star Trek and had 100 beers so it seemed reasonable but now I will double up on my crazy”

All he has to do now is teach the rest of us to do it. Evacuation made simple.

Most would just realize they’d had too much to drink and let it go at that.

SNL did it better.

So is that what I told his wife why he didn't get home in time when he was actually out with his mistress?

Dude is DRUNK in this INTERVIEW!! 🫣🤣

Drugs

Can he teleport disaster victims out of harm's way?

Men will teleport to a Waffle House instead of going to therapy

So, either he’s blaming the drugs during his chemotherapy or he’s another drunk in this administration and has blackouts. Either way, doesn’t sound like this is the position for him.

"May the road rise up to meet you" Gregg thought to himself, lying face down in the dirt after his usual bender

OMG. I saw him. 🧇

How about some aliens abduct him, or have him teleported to Mars for good? How does this FEMA director tie his shoes in the morning? How isn’t that an immediate reason for any GOP with some brain cells left to ask for his immediate resignation?

I promise you this isn't the only crazy thing this guy believes. There's usually a pedophile hiding behind shit like this

I don't follow. Is there any other way to get to a waffle house?

Shutting down 20th century mental health incarceration was proper, but obvs the pendulum swung too far (snark, but maybe not).

Sir, you did some drugs, as evidenced by your appearance in Waffle House.

I have a plausible explanation: He was drunk and passed out. His buddies decided to prank him, they took him to the Waffle House and propped him up in a booth.

So, he blacked out. Dude needs to see a neurologist…. Or get some addiction counseling.

It’s legitimate news because he holds an extremely consequential position.

Yep. Now I know that freedom dies from fear. And so many of these organizations mainstream this 💩 out of fear of the sh!t-stain.

Bari has priorities.

I’m assuming he’ll teleport to the next natural disaster

A mind is a terrible thing to teleport to a different galaxy than its owner.

Everyone needs to tell Gregg Phillips to go fuck himself instead of entertaining his bullshit. Everyone.

You don't even need cell phone towers. His phone has a location history if it's connected to GPS. Google maps tells you every single place you've ever been and the route you took to get there. But you're right, he should prove it if that's his claim

They are all batshit insane.

Can you imagine interviewing this guy for a top position at your company?

‪Key words: Self-directed cancer treatment. Both meds he acknowledges taking were ivermectin and fenbendazole which are not approved for humans in most cases. Fenbendazole has never been approved by FDA for use in humans. Hallucinations seems like a logical adverse reaction.🙄

Is that the new name for blackouts now?

“A diner at the end of a night of drinking is a classic, almost ritualistic, late-night experience designed to provide greasy, salty, and carb-heavy food to curb the effects of alcohol. Popular choices in the United States often include 24-hour establishments like Waffle House, Denny's, IHOP,..”

I never get the good drugs.

He's like a bad penny that just keeps popping up & f'ing stuff up for gov agencies. Look back at his history in MS and TX. When he left TX government, he claimed he had an awful type of skin cancer - maybe an MRI or PET scan should be performed 'cause this is over the top wacky, even for him.

That’s called a doublestack.

Ok then

Sounds like an acid trip. Or a lot of mushrooms

This is amazing! It will greatly reduce the amount of time it takes FEMA to respond to a disaster because he can just teleport there and start working!

Why is CNN asking him about his delusional thinking?

So he got blackout drunk and woke up at the Waffle House

If we're going to have teleportations anyway, let's please put Ryan Gosling and/or Kate McKinnon in charge of FEMA.

Underrated reply.

He did not teleport. HE WAS BLIND STINKING BLACKOUT DRUNK. Repeat after me. >>>>>Teleportation is not a thing.<<<<< When you think you teleported to Waffle House: IT MEANS YOU DROVE WHILE YOU WERE BLACKOUT DRUNK AND SHOULD BE IN MOTHERFUCKING REHAB.

Don’t do kid’s drugs!

And reQublicans don't think this is disqualifying from holding a FEMA job.

I’ll have what he’s having.

I am doubling down on not believing him.

Is this guy also the former leader of an obscure horse association 🤷

What shit was he on? I want some!

upside....he doesn't need a multi billion dollar jet.

FEMA???? He will be sucked up in aTornado I’m sure.

Will nobody intervene and 5150 this guy?!

I’m sorry but we’ve really “jumped the shark” on this timeline

We have not a government.

Sorry but this story is insane! I’ve had weird shit happen to me at night too…but then I wake up because it was just a dream 😂

Wow, yeah, the guy on drugs, let’s nominate him to a top position in FEMA. Totally tracks for this idocracy regime.

Trump Hire < DEI Hire

Just another example of one of the lunatics running America... 🤦

Does he have a cell phone? Check the location history. Tell him to prove it.

<sigh> You perform one “trick” for a guy to prove you’re legit and he NEVER shuts up about it.

Remember Walter White’s fugue state?

Someone has to get Jeff Daniels on board for the biopic.

Quite the creative Trump-Epstein Files distraction

Helluva story to concoct to convince your spouse you’re not cheating on her… or something 🤷‍♂️

He looks like he would fit right in with the Men Who Stare at Goats guys.

Beam me up, Scottie there's no intelligent life down here

I was recently transported into the future, and saw this FEMA guy named to succeed RFK as HHS Secretary. RFK had resigned “to spend more time embarrassing my family.”