Post

Is The Onion going to make us cry?

God bless @theonion.com

the jaundice is getting worse, 👀 how much more 🍊 he is

Didn't he already do this? Not even joking. Im certain he's told people to move on from Epstein. Sounds like MAGA isn't as on board as they usually are, though.

not going to happen

Ha!

This is *NOT* from "Fiddler on the Roof", okay? Tell Pam and Kash.

If they lower the marriage age far enough the problem solves itself.

The way he does The Onion's job for them.

That’s going to leave a mark.

Sometimes the best advice people give is advice they better take themselves.... Move on from lost election denial stop prosecuting and firing innocent people. Ruining people lives and livilhoods with myths and conspiracies...#trumpnemcoulddobetter

"Autopen is the one true moral failing of this great, beautiful country"

It turned out that QAnon was right, but Trump and the Republicans headed the Deep State.

Perhaps the so-called pissgate tape is actually Trump,not w 2 adult prostitutes,but rather w 2 underage girls or boys?Didn't Epstein & Trump's "friend" Alan Dershowitz once promote the idea of lowering the age of consent to 14 yrs old?

Didn’t see it was from The Onion and assumed it was a real headline.

He is excusing pedophilia because it has been around for centuries. Says girls shouldn't dress like "sluts." He knows pedophiles who are hardworking people. He should be impeached for this disgusting rhetoric which is what he believes in. 😡😡😡😱😱😱

Shut up old man.

🤔LET’S NOT!🤬

Release the Epstein files!

This will be true by the Sunday news shows.

That would be a hell of a twist, but I wouldn't really be surprised at this point.

No, they just have to stop the pretending they don't.

PedoCon theory stays undefeated @regmonkey.bsky.social

Well.....they voted for #PedoDon AND they defend him at every turn!

At this point, the onion is just predicting future deadlines.

So, society should be accepting of pedophilia? Sounds like the right stance of the Republican/MAGA/Q/TACO party. Thanks for clarifying your position.

Nope Nope Nope

He knows they’ve come to terms with a convicted rapist in the White House, not much more of a stretch to accept paedophiles there I suppose

get in losers,. we going to fail town.

I thought this was genuine- that’s where we are at now, that it was disgusting but not entirely shocking that he might say that.

Truth. Not satire.

"man who rallied supporters using the simple, well-understood cause if being against csa, realizes he's been caught red-handed abusing kids, and shoves it all under the rug with the strategy, precision and care expected of a 79-year-old, which he, in fact, is"

Have you started reporting the actual news now?

You guys just know how to capture a moment. Brilliant. FYI I could tell Trump didn’t write it because your grammar, spelling and turn of phrase is perfect. The Liberian President would be impressed. 😉

“It’s not a big deal…”

Keep talking about it…after all , that’s what Dems do best…

child sex trafficking is their moral compass-own it!

He's on the list. He raped minors. We cannot overlook this!! Where are the self-righteous Christians speaking out?

Wow! OMG!

He did

I think I just got a whiplash from trying to reconcile my brain with that headline. Can someone please pass the aspirin?

Why is it The Onion though. It's literally what he wants. We have clips of Howard Stern 2009 with Trump bragging about going into underage girls changing rooms. On top of the many ignored rape cases of Trunk with under age people. This isn't right. It's not comedy. 😢

You cooked unbelievably hard with this.

Please read the article with this. The Moron is actually sick! Comment your thoughts after you read it!

I needed to check if this was you guys

"It's actually a good thing if you think about it"

Why would he do that..unless he is one?

This post is similar to my love affair with the Twilight Movies. It's so wrong, but it's so right.

Oh come on. The insanity. He’s literally admitting his crimes and still they follow him.

The Onion is predicting the future again!! It's gonna make MAGA cry & pray harder!! 🙏🙃

Oh this is good! 🤣🤣

I thought the onion was satire

Release the list so we can move on, is exactly what we want.

That’s the message❗️❕❗️

This Man is an Actual Psychopath I Swear to God

He's orange AND a visionary!

So he can start dating his own daughter? 🤔

Outflanking NAMBLA

Suuuure people should stop having distain over pedophilia because t.rumps government is full of them.

Because all MAGA men would do this if they could?

That's because his friend Epstein was a pedophile!

Seems to me that The Onion has moved from satirical headlines and news to prognostication of future headlines.

For a minute there, I ate the onion

Every thing happening now has been in South Park at some point at least according to my 36yr old who has been a “student “?of the show from the beginning 🤔😊

If you are so innocent then release them all! It just might incriminate some of your political “enemies”…or YOU!!

Satire is dead, I'm afraid. Sorry, The Onion.

Sometimes I feel like the onion posts these to make it less likely that they actually happen.

So being a pedo is ok now?

I give it a week and a half before he blurts this out. you know there's some twenty year old Youtube influencer telling him not to say these exact words right now, but it's all going in one ear and out the other while he looks at her tits.

youtu.be/NQDgNpKlvmA?...

There is definitely a contingent of Maga that believes they needed to form a tar and feathering posse and go after pedophiles These same angry reactionary types are going turn on the Pizzagate propagandists that deceived them.

Most Onion stuff makes me laugh. This makes me want to break stuff because it is SO spot on.

'...move on from social disdain for pedophilia...'-is THIS a bridge too far for the MAGAts?!?!?

MAGA need to understand that fighting Pedophilia will prevent America to be great again. It hey want America to be great they need to support Pedophiles. I hope it is clear what Daddy told you, just move on and let Daddy do what he wants and likes.

The only way out of this mess is to distract them by deporting pedophiles.

This slimy fucking demon. I hope he breaks open when he falls off that wall.

13 is the new 30 !

The contempt he has for his own supporters is unbelievable.

Today it's the Onion, tomorrow it's Faux News...

Trump, you move on…back to russia

I thought your articles were supposed to be parody, not factual.

Put this moron in prison stop calling him president give him back his clown suit

Yes. RightWingNutJobbery. They view girls and women as sex objects.

Couldn’t agree more. That’s because they don’t care what happens to girls.

💀

🏆🏆🏆

Would be funny if in this time it would be a possibility.

"Say, Don. I hear..."

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Facts

😲😳

wait until they find out he diddled his kid

Watching Trump destroy America is like watching a game of “pin the tale on the donkey”. Where they try to put the blame for all the mess they are making on Democrats

Young chick once in a while…………

Lol, I'm sure some will, but until he releases it he will take the flack from some of his supporters who say he lied to them. Republican males don't see rape or pedophilia as anything but normal & their god given right.

“When Wolff was asked where the photos might be today, he heavily suggested that some ally of Trump may have successfully hidden them from public view, given the fact that Trump was president at the time Epstein’s house was raided. “he would take them out of the safe…” gizmodo.com/jeffrey-epst...

Oof. Too factual.

Initially read this as "Societal Disdain for Philadelphia"

What a narcissistic psychopath...

Once a perv…

This isn’t satire.

The Onion needs to try and write the worst case scenario of anything and I bet Trump is right there in it in reality. When you wonder if a piece is satire or the truth you know we are way past jumping the shark.

Most truthful headline I’ve read in a long time.

So you guys are doing straight news now?

You know... Admitting that you've had many pedo friends over the years & just saying it happens, that people should just get over it is not a good way to make people forget about this. Things he said just shows how disrespectful & disconnect he truly is. 😡😡😡😡

The Onion reporting actual news again.😏

I wouldn't be surprised at all if the Epstein files leak, and he actually says this.

Only a true pedophile would want to cover up his discretions. He tries to distract everyone from what’s going on hoping it will go away. Ya know like Stormy.

Karma strikes! 😜 @hillaryclinton.bsky.social

She was just seventeen and you know what I mean, said trump

That headline's not actually a joke. Trump is A-OK with old dudes who rape underage girls.

Banging 14 year olds is almost legal in many red states, and it's night after night until the creep dies or gets bored with you.

MAGA has been changed to MASA or Make America Stupid Again Order your new cap before they are gone

Are you kidding me!?

Trump's supporters already condone rape, so it's not too far of a reach for this to be true.