Post

I read somewhere that the current cost per American for the Iran War is $1600+, so we’re getting there already

Finally, a politician with a clear, transparent plan for the economy. It’s basically a subscription model for citizenship, but with worse customer support.

Sounds about right

God he's so fucking hideous

he's already stealing from everyone.

So another round or two of the impose tariffs/tariff costs get passed on to people/tariffs get ruled against/refunds go to corporations instead of people?

OTOH, he will also take the money away if Democrats don't win.

Goddamn it this is too plausible. The guy says crazier shit than the onion could ever come up with (I challenge the onion to come up with some truly delicious crazy shit)

This will continue until morale improves

Mr Trump is already doing that so WTF is the threat?

Better for the country if he dies in jail. Hurry, old people aren’t what they used to be.

That’s a bargain to have him gone!

I had to double check to see if this was The Onion because he's obviously already doing that and it wouldn't surprise me if he actually admitted to it.

If you can't bribe them, let's extort them.

You should say “Another five thousand “ between tariffs, war and fuel prices

The closest he'll ever come to rescuing anyone!

He actually uses it to trap and store the souls of little girls, which he uses to keep himself alive. Some say that he's been caught slowly beginning to unhinge his jaw whenever he sees a minor.

Too late

Is it that much of a stretch considering he's been stealing FEMA funds from blue states already?

genuinely believed this until I saw it was an onion post. genuinely didn't even question it.

He added $12 Trillion to the national deficit in the first 18 months being back in office... even after he slashed federal programs. That's $25k more debt for every American man, woman, and child. Taking only $5k more sounds 5x better.

Today is the day that The Onion became more believable than the crazy Trump promises being reported by MSM.

🖕PotUS

It’d be a bargain.

will that be coming with the check from Doge savings and the one to repay tariffs?

Yeah, for a moment, I had to think if this was true or not. It's the satirists I feel sorry for.

Democrats should offer $6000 if they can get control of congress and successfully impeach Trump. It would be funny to see what he had to say about that.

That's a discount at this point

Maybe it will only be 5k next year? That would be nice.