aidnabet.bsky.social

Why can't American aeroplanes fly straight? Because their right wing is full of shit and on the verge of falling apart. Boom boom.

You got to give credit where it's due - this is great. Well done Sadiq!

King Kong would have been a completely different film if Kong had been a Koala. King Koala. Grrrrr!

I just changed the time on my Delorean and now I'm in danger of marrying my mother.

Right - if supernatural phenomenon are fake explain this: my watch has been wrong by an hour for the last 6 months, but this morning.....it's fucking correct! Don't tell me there's nothing beyond that which we can observe...

What do Americans have against our Polish friends! Every time they tell us the Democrats are going to win the mid-terms they caveat it with: "If the Poles are to be believed". Why are Poles so distrusted, and exactly how influential are they? I think someone should conduct some kind of survey.

Can we call them deplorables yet?

want to start a petition – would you sign it? I want to ban any company affiliated to Elon Musk from having a government contract in the UK. He has shown himself to be an enemy, and willing to use his commercial reach to influence global politics to his own advantage.

“Defibrillator” in ten languages: 1. Defibrillator (German) 2. Defibrillator (Dutch) 3. Defibrillator (Hindi) 4. Defibrillator (Igbo) 5. Defibrillator (Indonesian) 6. Defibrillator (Samoan) 7. Defibrillator (Swahili) 8. Defibrillator (Yoruba) 9. Defibrillator (Afrikaans) 10. Hjertestarter (Danish)

Typical NYT promoting the brown shirts.

The other day I saw a dog in the park that was a cross between a cockerpoo and a labradoodle. A cocker doodle poo, if you will.

Seems a bit unfair - 6 years ago Donald Trump cured Covid by shoving a torch up his arse. Way ahead of his time..

I'd have thought, given the current standing of the US in the world, that a better response would be: "Ooh! Yes, you're right! We can't guarantee the safety of any of your bases - you'd better clear out. Don't worry - we'll *cover* your back!" *laugh behind*

Can't believe they want to ban killer robots. What happened to tolerance? We may disagree with killer robots but banning them forces their robotic homicidal views underground. Engaging them in respectful debate is the answer. NB: this is definitely not written by a killer robot.

Tarzan's house, Beverly Hills, 1986.

Apologies for the language, but honestly.....fuck me! substack.com/@coolstories...

Call me a snowflake - but this actually made me cry. Brings home the absence of common decency and empathy which is endemic today.

"Breathtaking" = "Thore Titth"

Always a treat to be reminded of an old friend

Still think the original Paul Simon lyrics were better.

She went on to say "but I need a surgeon and a whole bucket of Botox to move my eyebrows "

Orville: I wish I could fly, way up to the sky, but I can't. Keith Harris: You can. Orville: I can't. You've got your hand up my arse.

I feel seen...

The opposite of Artificial Intelligence is Genuine Stupidity. When the two collide you get.....

Reports coming in that a loud opinionated white privileged man is about to stand in front of multiple audiences to spout his bile totally unchallenged ! Now back to the studio... Just booked tickets to @jonathanpienews.bsky.social Quite looking forward to it tbh.

Smiths songs i like: This Charming Man, Ask, and Girlfriend in an Oxford comma. I know!

Off to the Zoo today, taking a bag of catnip and a flatbed truck, gonna steal a tiger. Fuck it, we’ll see if we can get a capybara too

Never thought I'd hear an orange man advocate for a united Ireland

Use it or lose it. We all doxt it and lost it Rip democracy

Shin Fein.

What?

You might have to turn up for the results of this one, Nige.

The UK land speed record of 403.1 mph (648.7 km/h) set by Donald Campbell on July 17 1964 has just been broken by a paper shredder at Reform UK HQ.

Physician, heal thyself. If it doth not clear up in a couple of weeks, book a follow-up appointment with thy receptionist and try a different medication. Now kindly make haste, other patients are waiting to consult with thee.

If your home is haunted by the ghost of an atheist, exorcism doesn't work. You need an embittered humanist to come and use sarcasm on it.

In a free society you can choose to be a patriot, but a society that makes it mandatory makes it meaningless, and isn’t free.

Racists should get in the sea. Where they'll be rescued by the RNLI regardless of their opinions, because that’s what RNLI does, and what makes them infinitely better people than the racists.