Balcony Shirts

I'm listening to interviews with each of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young individually and then splicing them together in my mind to create a plausible timeline of events and it's not going well but that's fine because what is time, anyway?

This is the letter kids got at the end of Dolly’s Imagination Library. I defy you to read this and not cry.

Dolly Parton was a brilliant, brilliant human being.

Post a picture that should be an album cover.

Three men drawn from photos of the Florida State Fair. Fountain pen and carbon ink on watercolour paper.

If I was Harry and Meghan I wouldn’t be able to resist washing up on the Dover coast in a small boat. Just for a laugh.

Some bloke.

@mrjamesob.bsky.social There's still half an hour to pivot to "Have you ever fallen down a well?"

Imagine covering Kitty Wells and equalling the greatness. www.youtube.com/watch?v=umDh...

One day off the point-scoring is obviously asking too much. So many points up for grabs.

I know everyone is worried about Artificial Intelligence eventually killing all of humanity but I just asked Alexa to play Hank Williams and it played Hank Williams Junior and in a way that’s worse

I’ve got some pretty hot and controversial takes about Alley Cats, let me tell you. And I’ll be releasing them vicariously through badly animated cartoon animals.

@mrjamesob.bsky.social Can't see any problem at all with having jail sentences effectively decided by The Sun.

#VoteBinface www.theguardian.com/food/2026/au...

Everyone is arguing about Covid again.

@balconyshirts.co.uk - if you're looking to do a video I think I might manage the voiceover. #BinDayIsComing

I’ve started dressing up as Mrs Doubtfire so I can water the garden with a hose.

Manchester this, Manchester that.

I’ve just seen how many rip offs of our design there are available including an Amazon seller who has actually called themselves “Official Count Binface”. The size of the cojones to do that! You have to respect it.

We designed the official T-shirt for Count Binface’s campaign in Clacton. He’s very generously donating 50% of his proceeds to the homeless charity Shelter. If you’d like one, we are going as fast as we can, available at Binfaceshop.co.uk

It's going to be funny watching Farage run a "Me against the establishment" campaign in Clacton when the "establishment" will be represented by a bin.

wen ronaldo cry plez?

Listen, we will be opening as normal at 9am on Monday but can we all agree that no one calls, emails or comes in the shop before, say, 11am? Thanks!

Doctor Congo is my rap name.

Fella in a wheelchair in Lidl couldn’t reach the eggs so I passed some, he opened it and said “I don’t like the white ones, any brown ones?” so I opened 3 boxes, all white. “Can you keep looking?” so I opened every box of eggs on the shelf. All white. So he took the white ones

I talk to people about music a lot and have done for my entire life and I’ve never spoken to anyone, ever, who thinks Ringo is a bad drummer, so where does the “Everyone thinks Ringo is a bad drummer” narrative come from?

We should all go on strike unless it cools down.

We'll call it quits then shall we?

We can't go on like this.

@mrjamesob.bsky.social I don't think it works so well because the Royal Family are now the least of our worries.

People are actually COMING IN THE SHOP! In THIS weather! This is madness!

Why hasn't Starmer made it cooler? What does he do all day?

“You’d better remember where you were watching this tonight because in thirty years somebody will probably ask you”. Des Lynam, June 26 1996.

@mrjamesob.bsky.social Duncan Bannatyne's autobiography has got some great Ice Cream Wars action.

This is not normal.

I'm working late in the shop and I've brought the big free standing fan down from upstairs and I keep catching sight of it in the corner of my eye and thinking someone is standing there watching me. But luckily, it's just the fan I've brought down from upstairs.

I am over your moon at all the kind comments about the Battle of #Makerfield. If you like what I do, you can support me at ko-fi.com/countbinface, subscribe to my substack at BetterThanX.co.uk or grab yourself some merch at binfaceshop.co.uk. Peace and love, CB x

Whoever it was at the BBC that came up with “BBC No Spoilers”, you are a genius and I thank you.

I want to listen to what they have to say on The Rest Is Football podcast but I don't want to hear them all laughing too loudly at each other's jokes. They should release a version where they edit all that out.

I think Louis Theroux on the Harry Hill Show podcast thing might be the most enjoyable thing I've ever seen and yes I know, there's that other thing and that thing that you like and that thing from when we were kids and the obviously the Steve Davis / Dennis Taylor final, but still.

A lot of people replying to this with "I've not seen it so it doesn't happen" which is my all-time favourite piece of data analysis.

People who stand at the garlic in supermarkets breaking open each and every one until they find the “perfect” garlic for their needs and leave all the ones they’ve smashed open in the box for everyone else. I want to kill those people. There, I’ve said it.

The two main “the end is nigh” news stories at the moment is that Ai will take all our jobs AND that we are facing catastrophic population collapse. Sounds like a perfect combo to me. Half as many jobs for half as many people. Bingo. Johan Hari would get a 3 hour Ted Talk out of that.

OLLIE'S BIG CLEAR OUT! Here are 3 shelves of HUGELY popular kids books You can have any FOUR for £10 (free P+P). Deals can be negotiated. Please share (and buy). UK only.