Ben Schatzel

IT’S FUN TO BE A BEARS FAN AGAIN LIFE IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY

The immutable, unnamed American law of The Dumbest Thing That Can Happen Will Happen dictates that the Democrats will win the House handily, as projected, and take the Senate 51-49, making John Fetterman the most powerful flesh husk in America for the next 24 months.

Is it basketball season yet?

“If you don’t like public executions just don’t watch it” says the crowd trying to ban drag shows and books

Once the Cubs figure out how to get some pitching and hitting they’ll be a pretty decent baseball team.

I chose to be a Cubs fan, at some point this is on me.

God I love Angie Nixon. I hope she wins

Here lies every Bears fan’s hopes and dreams.

I have watched a lot of very, very, very bad Bears teams over the years but I can safely say this is the earliest I’ve ever given up hope.

It’s so crazy that Ed Sheeran read that fuckass statement from a teleprompter SO OBVIOUSLY. Bro is complicitmaxxing at every possible juncture

When will the people who argued in April 2025 that Democrats should stay silent on immigration own up to being frankly just disastrously wrong about the politics of mass deportations? Their punditry basically bordered on enablement

Gonna start referring to Democrats who take anti-trans stances as “Biological Republicans”

Alright fine I’ll bite. Who’s Donald Trump?

Republican politics is pedophilia and terrorism then being shocked and outraged when they’re called out for pedophilia and terrorism

Macklemore: Palestinian children are people. Robert Kraft *actively getting a handjob from a strip mall prostitute he refuses to tip*: We must ban this hate speech from every stadium in America. Let me call up my friends, the Epstein client list. Ed Sheeran: Good point, sir. Both sides, sir.

Nobody loves 9/11 more than the NFL

I know everybody is clowning Trumpapalooza for going head-to-head with NFL Kickoff but also since when has there been NFL on Wednesdays???

Indie wrestling show I was at tonight ended with a run-in by the promotion’s first champion, who took off her hoodie and came out as trans. Standing ovation from the crowd. The most Chicago shit that ever happened. I was sincerely touched.

When the DoorDash cart is $65 more than I expected for a bean burrito with some chips and guac

There’s a deep blue institutional block of Dem voters who will instinctively break whichever direction the establishment points them. That’s a much more formidable force than I think most left progressive campaigns realize. Policy alone won’t be enough to pattern-break these voting habits.

The entire Dem, GOP, & media establishment put its thumb on the scale & said Hong was scary and unelectable. Evers is the kingmaker who came out & gave Crowley the last-second push. Mistake not to spend $$ on TV. Disproportionate coverage on Thanksgiving gaffe. Voila, half a point loss or so.

Okay do they intentionally pair Kornacki with the most incompetent and oblivious dude they can find to see if Kornacki loses his mind trying to get him to answer basic questions about maps because if so then that is an absolutely incredible bit

Gotta give it to Kornacki dude had a hell of a night

That's some racist-ass shit right there.

Stepping out for a smoke. I don’t have any cigs I’m just gonna breathe Chicago air for a sec

Fascinating move to start hammering the SAVE ACT as a priority 20 minutes after 99% of viewers turned this shit off

Harry Kane scored 6 goals for England in the World Cup. After he admitted he went golfing with Donald Trump he did not score again the rest of the tournament, and England are out. The Trump sports curse remains undefeated.

The Trump Curse is real.

the thing about this Yglesias take is that it’s load-bearing for his career. if politics is about persuasion, someone like Yglesias serves no real purpose, and in fact it might be counterproductive for politicians to listen to the opinions of an abrasive nerd

Sometimes you’re living your hot little 30-something year old life in Chicago on a Saturday night and Lindsey Graham fucking dies like a deadass dead piece of shit that is dead.

No shit. Immigration is literally the primary reason the U.S. has historically been so fucking good at everything. Reinforcing immigration is basically the cheat code to building a great society.

there are men on the left who will see right wing men as their allies above left wing women because in their eyes the former confirms masculinity and the latter conveys weakness

I don’t understand how people can run for office knowing they have insane baggage and/or crimes. Like I spent the entire campaign expecting AIPAC to somehow dig up my middle school livejournal fanfic account. I prepared my family for it. I’m still amazed it didn’t happen.

On the heels of the Balogun fiasco, FIFA acted swiftly to clean up its image, restore fan trust and remind everyone why it's the global leader in sports integrity.

The anti-Platners were right from the jump. They deserve their day in the sun because they were correct. There’s no reason to parse through the details of what we had learned previously because what we know now recontextualizes everything into a crystal clear picture of who and what that man is.

The U.S. could instantly become the best team in the world if we had some common decency towards immigrants

Thinking of the most romantic places to get married. Madison Square Garden, of course, Bank of America, one of those cable company storefronts that’s totally empty except for an iPad on a podium that’s bolted to the floor, the streaming service Fubu

Alex Jones rest in piss bozo

Things I never thought I would type: look at how they greeted the Algerian team arriving back at the DoubleTree in Lawrence, Kansas

can’t believe a narcissist is being so publicly humiliated by a reflecting pool

Kevin Warren is a bitch

Hilarious to see this from the guy who crossed a picket line to do Scream 6

Israel flag house down the street finally took down their Israel flag

I understand that microblogging sites have become fully partisan and that Bluesky is the unofficial place for the “good guys” but it would be pretty sick if we got to have a place that was like functional and dare I say fun to hang out in

Ope

The U.S. is a truly awful place these days, but it could be marginally improved if Ken Martin just went ahead and killed himself