bluepencap

hello to my three real followers and my legion of one hundred bots

Bluesky has four kinds of users

all the girlies are talking about femininecronomicon

audiophiles are like i came as soon as i heard

RANDOM POSTER WHOSE OPINION I HAVE NO REASON TO TRUST: A result like this in NV-03 would be seismic. That’s deep Blortles country. It was Vinkum +8 in ‘24 ME DURING ELECTION SEASON: totally. i just need to look at 9000 more of these

CAKE ME UP cake me up inside I CAN’T CAKE UP cake me up inside CAKE MEEEEEEEEEEEE

Australopithecus 3 million years ago:

this is so fucking sad

my wife and I have a strictly mononymous marriage. that’s why we both changed our name to Prince

Sad news everyone. Our beloved friend the computer has now become a hated enemy

Yall wanna see a 2 hour old highland cow

breaking bad but it’s the zoloft kingpin of south portland

A familiar story for anyone who follows @volts.wtf. “The Chronicle spoke to more than half a dozen grid experts…to try to understand why Texas’s notoriously unreliable grid had a remarkably reliable summer. The answer was unanimous: solar panels and batteries.”

do I have als or am I just falling for you

God, grant me the courage to change the things I can and incredible new powers to change the things I can't.

for my future reference

personally I think the best gilbhi is bark’s stationary townhouse

this mini wheat lookin kinda menacing, ngl

finally experiencing character growth (recognizing anxious-avoidant girlies *before* I catch feelings)

i’m at the galleria dell’accademia in florence doing my favorite bit: every time we pass by a depiction of jesus i point and say “damn, that guy just can’t catch a break” everyone hates it

introducing… the bideo! the bidet that shoots your butthole twice

I really, really need to know what peg candy is. Wisconsin, explain yourself!

lookin for a hunny to bunch my oats, any takers? cheerios!

it’s like mama always said: you catch more flies with fly attractant than fly repellant

I bet Einstein’s drag queen name would be Anus Mirabilis

even now, she's still teaching us

I have, ahem, a “rich inner life”

the sickest part of Dark Knight Rises

remember chicago pope? whatever happened to that guy

I’m trying to be better (twirling the spaghetti instead of cutting it)

crushing so hard rn

join me, and together we will fist the galaxy with an iron rule

kafka drinking red bull, awaiting the inevitable

ISO my wife (48F) and I need a man to dress up as a giant baby and let us change his… oh. that’s not what polymarket is, you say? well. shit.

the RADICAL LEFT DEMOCRATS want to bring back STROKE!

hell yeah, good job

finally, the Democratic party has a plan.

songs for your empire to decline by