Christine Parker

Someone unwise allowed me unimpeded access to a box of chalk markers and a shitty rally vehicle

not my fuck around. not my find out.

What an underwhelming finale to the Ninth House trilogy by Leigh Bardugo. I don’t read much fantasy—it has to be VERY well written to suspend my disbelief—but I loved the first 2 books in this series. Book 3 was a disappointment, however. Just silly and forced.

Ok don’t let’s get carried away but I found something genuinely good on Threads.

The BEST part of getting old (and there are many) is that you can ABSOLUTELY miss something wildly popular. Zooshas just flying by while you’re admiring someone’s sensible shoes or whatever. Bliss.

The trees in my yard all have fungus except for one that's all bark and no blight.

I’ve been sitting this doctors office waiting room for an hour and all I have for entertainment is (1) my phone and (2) my brain and I hate both

Every butterfly you see is Dolly now & you are to say aloud “She Is Risen” when you see one.

*whispering* I do not care about Taylor Swift

"Well, this shit just got real, didn’t it? Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they’re both extremely fucking real." buff.ly/pykYN6f

OK, nobody else is allowed to talk to me me until Monday. I do not have a one single brain cell to spare until after the Art Walk tomorrow!!!

Lowe’s!!! You should never have allowed me to find out about free same day shipping!!!!! I DO NOT NEED MORE PAINT SAMPLES 🔪🔪🔪🔪

Milo had his biweekly bath & brush today and is giving big Shih Tzu energy 😍

I hate drawing leafs 🥲

Devon got the jeep home. He ubered to the church where we left it and it took him over an hour to drag it the 5ish miles home He said he kept it from overheating by accelerating, putting it in neutral, turning the engine off, and coasting 😂

Maybe it’s time for my midlife crisis vehicle?

Fresh coolant and a gallon of distilled water only bought me a mile and a half before the temp gauge redlined again so we abandoned the jeep in a church parking lot with a note that we’d be back to get it tonight lol It’s prob gonna have to be towed unless Devon can limp it home

*having a different temper tantrum* I DONT WANT TO LOOK AT SHITTY AI “ART” ANYMORE *hurls phone*

*having a temper tantrum* I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DRAW

Them: How are you? Me: Oh, no thank you.

shit

I tagged that photo van life — we don’t actually live in our van but we do hang out in it a lot. It’s like having the most kickass fort ever right in the backyard. You can be outside, but there’s a queen size bed and electricity and snacks.

Milo’s feets are so grinchy rn #blinddog #shihpoo #vanlife

There’s nothing worse than a warm toilet seat.

ZOOKEEPER: Eagles can actually swoop down and pick fish directly out of the water ME: *way too loud* They're so talonted ZOOKEEPER: *tazing me* How did you get back in here

Current* conditions near Cleveland, OH:

My dog could not care less about thunder or fireworks but the blue jays in our neighborhood send him into apoplectic fits of rage

I tossed treats around the basement for Milo to hunt while we waited out the tornado warning. He was kind enough to sweep up some cobwebs for us 😂

Well that was supremely uneventful. It barely even rained. There was certainly nothing even close to approaching the 80 MPH winds we were promised.

It has been thundering ominously all afternoon and now the tornado sirens are going off This should be fun 😅

African marigolds, Michael Valentini, 1657-1729.

Here are some nice mushrooms

Milo will NOT let me sit at my desk and work in my office — he bugs the shit out of me until I cave and go back to the living room — AND YET he is snoozing in there peacefully while my husband has a virtual appt WHILE I SIT ALONE ON THE COUCH 🔪🔪🔪